Was just reading the Info re "I think I understand it now" post by Standswithcourage and Star's story about the proper safety equipment. It reminds me about sonnyboy's counselor. At the end of the 15 mo program the counselor (I know I've said this before) said of all the kid's he's worked he's never seen anyone need to learn things in the very hard way.... So this weekend I was cleaning out his pit. I have asked him to move his TV back to another corner so we don't play battle of the TV volume if we are both home. So I cleared out the corner I want him to put it in. Rearranged few things so he could do it. [because I know he won't] hoped giving him a head start would encourage him......... Actually should just stop posting this and say Another stupid incident this weekend. I did get drawn into an agrument. I usually don't. Thought maybe I could threaten him into doing it................. duh!!! Silly me! I had a mental lapse!! Or is it mental laps - running around in the same irrational circles... But now I seem to be having stomach issues waiting for Sept. 30 his 'launch' and the lock change date. Am trying to refocus my mental energies, am still walking every day, reading Alanon stuff, going to the weekly meeting.................. I have one of those red hard hats that can hold 2 beer cans, will get that out, put my carpell tunnel night splints inside the hard hat, too bad I don't have some shin splints from when the kids were small , maybe I should put a broken heart inside too. . . . . get my gear together. Thought maybe all of you could come over Sept 30 and we'll change the door lock together, I'll watch while sipping the 2 beers from the hat. As much as everyone says to do this and as much as i know I need to ...... it is amazing what anticipating this is dredging up inside me. Things like first son was stillborn - lost that child. Kicking sonnyboy out like losing another. Not real close with easy child son....... another one gone.... and of course divorcing ex............. everyone gone ................! More loss. Working thru this seems to be affecting my stomach. Are we having fun yet??????