Another Suspension!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by iloveturtles, Oct 30, 2009.

  1. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest


    Anther 3 day suspension, that makes 6 days so far this school year. We have 3 quarters still to go. 4 more days and he will be expelled they tell me.

    I desperately need help.

    My son attends therapy every other week. We see a Pediatric Behavioral Pysch. He attends a Theraputic Afterschool program social skills and the such once a week.

    He is doing well at home, scouts, football, and at school in the classroom.

    We are in the middle of another assessment.

    I feel partially responsible for today's incident.

    The teacher called me because she caught him in a lie, and she wanted to make sure I knew and that he told me. This is VERY new. I got pretty upset with him. I didn't raise my voice, but I did let him know how disappointed I was. That there would be more to talk about at home. Then he went out to lunch. I know better, but I just blew it.:ashamed:
  2. Does he have an IEP? There are protections against this suspensions and expulsions if he has an IEP.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Yes, if he has an IEP, he cannot be suspended more than 10 days before there would be a hearing where it would be considered whether the behavior is a manifestation of his disability. If it is and cannot be dealt with in the current placement, another placement must be offered.

    If he doesn't have an IEP, you need to request in writing that the school do an evaluation for Special Education and related services. Since your situation sounds complicated, you might want to consider hiring an educational consultant to help you get the services your difficult child needs and deserves.
  4. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest

    Yes he does, and a Behavior Support Plan(BSP) as well. They are working on a new BSP plus doing the ADOS right now.

    What do you mean as far as the IEP and expulsion? Any and all direction is appreciated.
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    See my post above.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would see another doctor. To get a good IEP, he does need a label and I wouldn't trust the school to diagnose. And with the IEP you often can not get suspensions and your child gets special supports, especially if your bring in a student advocate (they are free...You need to call your State Dept. of Public Education and ask who yours is because the SD sure won't tell you about the advocates).

    I'd take him to a neuropsychologist for an intensive evaluation and a diagnosis.

    What kind of doctor won't diagnose? To me, that's like going to a medical doctor and the doctor refuses to say you have the swine flu. How do you know how to help your child if the doctor won't tell you what's wrong?

    Anyhow, I wish you luck, whatever you decide to do. You got some good advice.
  7. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    If he has an IEP I would request an IEP meeting. If he doesn't, I would definately get one. There is so much that can be done to help him. I refused my son's IEP for a long time. Then things got to a boiling point and it was the best thing that ever happened.
  8. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    And are you saying he was suspended for 3 days for lying? That seems awfully harsh.
  9. tictoc

    tictoc New Member

    You need a label and an IEP. If your son has an identified disability, the school cannot suspend him for more than 10 days (total) in the school year or expel him without a manifestation hearing, ie a hearing to determine whether the behavior is a manifestation of his disability. If it is, then the school cannot suspend him for more than 10 days total or expel him.

    Labels can be a good thing. It will provide some protection for your son. A neuropsychologist is the way to go.

    Good luck.
  10. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    So sorry you're going thru this.

    If a student has an IEP, they cannot be expelled from a public school unless it's a drug or weapons offense. It's been a while, but I *think* that when you hit day 11 of suspension for a student with an IEP, it's considered a "change of placement" (isn't that right ladies?) and an IEP mtg as well as manifestation determination hearing must be held. That change of placement means exactly that - they have to find a new educational placement for him. They don't get to just be done with him. Again, they absolutely positively *cannot* expel a student with an IEP if the offense doesn't have to do with drugs or weapons.

    Whenever thank you was suspended, we always had a manifestation determination hearing, regardless of if it was his first or tenth day out - in a couple of cases, the IEP team agreed to change placement then and there. We also always had an IEP mtg and reviewed the BSP with every suspension.

    I am really confused though - it sounds like he is doing very well. He got the 3-day suspension for lying??? What was the previous suspension for? (Not trying to be nosy, but trying to get a feel for if the SD is being... gfgish. ;) ) Since you specifically said that he's doing well in the classroom... is he having problems during down times in the school day? If so, that is something that *definitely* needs to be addressed in the BSP, and then you will most likely have to really stay on top of things to make sure they follow the BSP.

    I'm a little surprised that they're suspending him in the middle of an evaluation as well. Especially if it's not for disruptive or violent behaviors.

    Something just really sounds off here.
  11. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest

    Sorry that I was unclear. I was typing from work after just picking him up from school.

    After the converstation on the phone, he got into a fight at lunch. Someone pushed him and punched him in the back and he lost it. After a heated discussion with a child that we have a long history of issues.

    We had an IEP meeting after his first suspension, again fighting.

    His IEP is under the label Emotionally Disturbed. They are talking about after 10 days he will be expelled, and the school he can attend will be one with other kids that have been expelled that are usually in the 8th grade or above.

    I have been trying to get help for my son since kindergarten when he was suspended for losing it with the teacher.

    How do I go about getting a neuropsychologist appointment? Do I speak to his doctor? Last year he had a EEG done and a neurological exam does that help at all?

    Thank you so much for all the quick and caring responses.
  12. rlsnights

    rlsnights New Member

    Iloveturtles -

    Sorry to hear there was more trouble today.

    When you first posted almost a month ago in the Special Education 101 forum several people gave you very specific advice about finding a new doctor or at least getting a second opinion, addressing problems with his current IEP and manifestation hearings.

    You can go back and review those replies in the Special Education forum at any time. It sounds like the advice you got then is still very relevant to your situation.

    Good luck.
  13. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Neuropsychologists can be found at children's and university teaching hospitals. Your pediatrician, neurologist and/or psychiatrist may also have good recommendations.

    If you are not happy with your current psychiatrist, both the CABF website at and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatrists at have "Find a Doctor" databases by state to locate board-certified child psychiatrists for a fresh look at your son.

    Since you are having difficulty with the IEP process, I would strongly recommend bringing an educational advocate to your meetings. You can find one in your area through these websites: (click on state/local to call your local chapter)

    Hang in there.
  14. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest

    I actually have been working on finding a new doctor. At the parent meeting for the therapeutic program he attends I started the conversation with the Dr. in charge there, he knows Cody pretty well too. He doesn't accept my insurance, but he is going to work something out with me to meet with him. Also, I am very comfortable with him meaning it is easier for me to talk to him.

    I have contacted him for an appointment.

    I guess since things were going so well I let myself get into denial about my son. I was hoping that maybe everything would be okay now. This was a wake up call to snap me out of my denial.

    I will definitely be working on his "story" this weekend to get ready for the EMDR session with his therapist.

    I am going back to the posting on the 101 Special Education section, thank you for the reminder.

    I will definitely be working on acceptance with my therapist I don't want to be in denial once again.