another update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by missy44, Jul 15, 2009.

  1. missy44

    missy44 New Member

    Hi all,

    Just a little update.

    Things are still going well with my difficult child. He hasn't smoked any marijuana in about 2 months and we know this for sure. Random drug tests are done by the out patient he participates in and we just know by the fact that he stays at home quite a bit and is surrounding himself with good people, his family, his girlfriend (very straight, successful girl) and new friends. He hasn't hung around the old crowd at all. I hate to write this in some ways for fear of jinxing myself and him.

    He's working at a Subway shop, not many hours but he participates at least 2 x's a week at the farm with his psyc and counsellors. His work ethic still suffers, he doesn't want to work very often and doesn't understand the value of a dollar, but we're hoping he'll get that concept soon.

    We're so very proud of him and hopeful. The addiction to marijuana is very real, combined with his depression he was really going down the tubes quickly. His medications are helping, we have had to buy him an herbal sleeping aid as well as he has trouble sleeping. He's also helping my husband cut lawns for extra money and is nice to be around.

    I'm still cautiously optimistic, but find myself relaxing a bit more. He helps around the house and his girlfriend visits often. She lives in another town until she returns to college.

    The plan is still on for college in September for the Youth worker programme. He's waiting to hear about a student loan. We told him we would help him in the winter term if he does well but last year things went so poorly he still needs to prove himself in the fall. If the loan doesn't come through for him he'll need to work full time in the fall to save some money. It seems harsh because he's doing so well, but I think it's a fair lesson and his doctor said there's nothing wrong with a little hard work and learning the consequences of poor choices.

    Thank you for all of your warm wishes and thoughts. I'm sure some of your prayers have made it to my home.

    All the best to everyone and warm wishes for a peaceful day at a time is my new motto
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    The truth is, this is how we all learn. You are giving your son the gift of experience.

  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    MIssy, sounds GREAT. He's not in my opinion the makings of a hardcore lifetime drug abuser. Is he going to live at home when he goes to college? If this were my son, my biggest concern now would be if he was living in a dorm. There's lots of drugs at college, unfortunately. My daughter went to school but lived at home...

    Congrats!!! :D
  4. missy44

    missy44 New Member

    Hi Midwest mom,

    Yes, he's going to live at home. He lived at home last year too, but that didn't work out so well.

    I hope it will be different this time. He seems to be growing up.

  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Missy, jmo, but I think it's best for kids who are easily caught up in peer pressure to live at home. Dorm life is one big drug party. I'm glad he's staying home. Seems like he was just going through a phase and is not wanting to stay there.