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Another update.
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 645455" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>I think you made a good choice in not replying as you said why bother, because sometimes engaging at the time may make us feel better at the time but you can almost bet that contact will come with a price to pay later.</p><p>You have every right to move on with your life and take care of your family. She has moved out and moved on with a life of her own. (make sure her mail no longer comes there so she can not return as a resident of the home) Not approving of her choices does not make you a bad mom. We can not change who our children are. The hardest part about having a disordered child is accepting that we didn't break them and we can't fix them. </p><p>I see the emotional coldness as abuse/punishment for taking the car away. You did the right thing by taking the car away and now she is punishing you for doing so. Just remember your child has every right to be mad at you/not like you, for doing things that they don't like or feel "entitled to".</p><p>They have a right to their feelings even if they are unjust, but YOU also are entitled to yours. You also are entitled to keeping your family free from all forms of abuse: Mental, physical,emotional and financial. Yes we can be domestic violence victims from our own children. And as we would do if it was any other person, we have the right to stand up to them and say no to any abuse. They have no right to destroy your possessions and as someone mentioned on the board, if you are up to it press charges (destroying your property can be interpreted as financial abuse).</p><p></p><p>It is hard to wrap your head around what these difficult child's do because most of them try to keep us enlisted in a hurricane of emotions or sick mental head games. We want to love/trust them even though they only want to use that love and trust against us for their own further gain. No wonder you have no fight left in you! </p><p></p><p>Keep posting and we will do our best to help you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 645455, member: 18366"] I think you made a good choice in not replying as you said why bother, because sometimes engaging at the time may make us feel better at the time but you can almost bet that contact will come with a price to pay later. You have every right to move on with your life and take care of your family. She has moved out and moved on with a life of her own. (make sure her mail no longer comes there so she can not return as a resident of the home) Not approving of her choices does not make you a bad mom. We can not change who our children are. The hardest part about having a disordered child is accepting that we didn't break them and we can't fix them. I see the emotional coldness as abuse/punishment for taking the car away. You did the right thing by taking the car away and now she is punishing you for doing so. Just remember your child has every right to be mad at you/not like you, for doing things that they don't like or feel "entitled to". They have a right to their feelings even if they are unjust, but YOU also are entitled to yours. You also are entitled to keeping your family free from all forms of abuse: Mental, physical,emotional and financial. Yes we can be domestic violence victims from our own children. And as we would do if it was any other person, we have the right to stand up to them and say no to any abuse. They have no right to destroy your possessions and as someone mentioned on the board, if you are up to it press charges (destroying your property can be interpreted as financial abuse). It is hard to wrap your head around what these difficult child's do because most of them try to keep us enlisted in a hurricane of emotions or sick mental head games. We want to love/trust them even though they only want to use that love and trust against us for their own further gain. No wonder you have no fight left in you! Keep posting and we will do our best to help you. [/QUOTE]
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