Another victim of drug use

[Kathy813]

My difficult child called me this morning to tell me that she had heard that the 22-year-old son of one of our neighbors had been found dead in his bed this morning. He had a history of heroin and meth use but had gotten his act together lately and gone back to school.

When we drove by his house a little while ago there must have been 20 cars in front. I thought about another set of parents in anguish because drugs had stolen yet another young life.

I'm not particularly close to this family anymore now that our children are grown but did things with the mom and kids when they were little. I remember the boy when he was so young and innocent riding the Pink Pig (a ride that used to be an Atlanta Christmas tradition) at the annual Atlanta Festival of the Trees.

What made him and so many others turn to drugs? His younger sister is also a total difficult child with a history of drug use. Yet, they came from a home where the parents did everything according to the book ~ married for 25+ years, church going family, beautiful home in the suburbs. And now this.

It's not fair. I HATE drugs. Why do these things happen?

~Kathy

 

[Wiped Out]

Kathy,
This is so tragic. I'm sorry. I wish there was a sure proof way to make people see the damage drugs can do. husband's brother died in 1997 due to a drug overdose and left behind three children. All three children have struggled.

 

[Fran]

I hate it too. I'm sorry to hear of this families loss. It's hard to understand the allure.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

The addiction has absolutely nothing to do with the allure.

The attraction is to feel good, to fit in, to escape for awhile. You got peer pressure. There are parties where the drugs are going around. Starts with grass. Maybe acid. Then it gets worse and worse. Coke. Heroin. X and meth. That was not even around when I did drugs. You start out just meaning to do it once in awhile. Some people can use like that all their lives. But those with the addict in them will become addicted at some point.

Once the addiction has you, it is no longer about feeling good. It is not about fitting in. It is about survival. There is a physical and a mental dependency on the drug. Nothing else matters. That is why you see moms losing their kids because they are on crack. People selling off their possessions because they are addicted to meth. Whatever their addiction is becomes the only thing that matters to them, and what their entire day revolves around; getting that next drink or hit. It is scary to watch.

It is even scarier to be.

 

[Sunlight]

so sad. my cousins son was found dead in his bed on fri morn. I will go to his viewing tomorrow morning. my sons are traumatized at losing him.
he was an alcoholic.
cause of death not yet clear. his family first said bleeding ulcers, now pancreatitis. not sure. he has three kids to two diff women. He was a good kid when young. his life got very hard. his mom, debbie, is my cousin. she is losing her mind at losing her first born son. My heart goes out to her and anyone who sees their child die before they go. been there done that, it hurts more than anything I can think of.

send the parents some note, some thing to let them know you care. they might need to talk when this simmers down in two weeks.

 

[Kathy813]

difficult child called back a little while ago and said that the boy had had a heart attack. I asked her how they knew that it wasn't a drug overdose and she said that the parents of the boy had asked around and his friends all told them that the boy was no longer using.

Hmmm, I'm not sure that fellow druggies would make the most reliable sources. I told difficult child that even if he had not used last night I can't believe that the previous heavy heroin and meth use didn't have something to do with this. Couldn't heavy drug use damage the heart?

Most healthy young adults don't have heart attacks in their sleep. Anyway, if this helps the parents, then so be it. In their place, I would want to believe that it was a heart attack, too. No matter what the cause, they have lost their child.

~Kathy

 

[KFld]

This really hits me hard. My son was one year clean yesterday. I realize how easily it could have been him. My heart goes out to this family. I thank god everyday that my son is clean for today.

 

[susiestar]

The family will need support for weeks and months to come. If at all possible in your situation, go by for condolences now, or at the funeral. Then, in 2-4 weeks, take a casserole over (I usually do lasagna with no-boil noodles). by that time all the big wave of support is gone, out of town relatives are gone, and the family is faced with dealing with the belongings of and the leftover feelings toward the dead.

I have seen the family hold it together until the supports are gone, and then, a few weeks out, just completely fall apart. It is then that you can truly be of service in some small (an appropriate) way.

I hate this. One young man I went to school with had gotten clean. Off cocaine. Had a Christian rock band. He sat down for a few minutes during a break in their band practice. He never got up. He had been clean for 2 years. I was 17, he was 16 - I only knew him because we had a few electives together.

It is so dang hard on the body to do drugs. Even the most casual use causes problems that can take years to show up.

It is one of hte reasons that we have focused energy on teaching my difficult child that if he uses drugs with his medications it very well may kill him, if not at that moment, then in the future. So far it seems so good. WE can only pray.

Saying prayers for your friends/cousins,

Susie

 

[gottaloveem]

How sad. I feel for those parents and siblings and extended family. I'm sorry for you and difficult child too. Eventhough you haven't been close for a long time, you still were friendly with the family. I am sure this has you shook up too.

I'm sure your memory of him riding the Pink Pig touches your heart. You will remember it always.

I can't get the "why do kids do drugs" especially when they were raised by parents doing a good enough job.

It still boggles my mind to this day why Alex would do heroin. His age group of kids got the most anti-drug education than any other generation and yet they still try a drug like heroin???

I asked one of Alex's friends what would make them try it, he told me they were just bored and it was around. UGH! :frown:

Once again, I am so sorry this has touched your neighborhood and another difficult child (I assume) has lost his life due to drugs.


When you send a card, it would be nice if you shared your memories of him with them in the card. Some of my favorite cards were the ones where they shared a memory they had of Alex.

 

[goldenguru]

"they came from a home where the parents did everything according to the book"

Socioeconomics ... parenting techniques ... church attendance ... good education ... it is all moot when it comes to kids getting sucked into the drug culture.

So sad.

I can't imagine burying a child ... especially under these circumstances. His poor family.