Ant is going to be a Daddy.... Sigh....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Mom2oddson, Nov 1, 2012.

  1. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Ant called me last night to let me know that C was two weeks late. C is always on time. I asked how they felt about that....

    C has to get out of jail and the restraining order has to be lifted before they can really talk about it.

    C is a year clean from Drugs, but like most recovering addicts, it takes awhile for them to get that Alcohol is also a drug.

    Anyways, Ant tells me that she's so sweet unless she drinks. She was drinking and they started fighting. They pull over to continue to fight. A cop comes by to see what is happening just as C gets out of the car. She is in violation of her probation by being drunk. And Ant has bite marks on him so she also has a domestic violence charge.

    Ant's already been in contact with the Prosecutors office, C has to get out of jail before they can lift the restraining order. But they are allowing Ant to talk to her by phone.

    Guess Ant's theory about being sterile wasn't true. (will he ever learn to listen to me. He thought he was sterile since his first girlfriend never got pregnant..... and Yes - Ant says it's his)

    So, what should be a joyful celebration isn't. I'm sitting here shaking my head.

    What are the chances of these two difficult children sticking together for the next 18 years?
    And if they don't, will I get to have a relationship with this grandchild?
    What a life, to be raised by two difficult children!!

    And then, Ant has been doing well. He's slowly growing up. I so hope this isn't a setback for him.

    With luck - (rattling beads, fingers/toes crossed) - with luck, maybe this will be the catalist to have both of them grow up. I want to be pleasantly surprised by those two growing up and growing old together.
  2. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh my, what a story...............sending you big giant mom/Grammy hugs.....
  3. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sigh. I remember all too well the mixed emotions I had both times Youngest told me she was pregnant. Anger, frustration, shock, fear ... and overall, sadness that what should be a joyful announcement, was anything but. I felt robbed of the joy and "normalcy" of life, once again.

    All I can say is take this one day at a time. A lot can happen, and a lot WILL happen. Who knows where Ant, and your grandchild, and you will be as time progresses. Try not to think too far ahead on this one.

  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sigh I'm sorry. What a difficult life for all of them.
  5. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    I'm grateful for all the lessons on detachment that I've had over the years. What will be, will be. I've got no control over what happens. When/If Ant asks for advice, I'll be here. Until then...??
  6. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Has she taken a test?
  7. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    She took a home pregnancy test and it came out positive. When she gets out of jail and the restraining order has been lifted, Ant will be taking her to the doctor to make sure the test is right.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I sent you a picture of a pink knit Baby Gap Halloween pig costume......She's in Illinois.......He was in jail for the entire pregnancy.....Her parents HATE him.......I can't abide by her parents, and have never met her, or them, OR my Granddaughter except for one small video and some pictures......and neither has Dude....but somehow? It's still love.....and could ALL be gone like (snap) that depending on her mood. Dude gets depressed, she gets angry at him 1200 miles away, they "break up" almost 2 x a week. I'm not sure WHICH one is more "bipolar" and yet I look at Addison and I thinlk....Well kid -------you are just like your Stuck betwween two nuts. AND beautiful and smiling.

    IT will be what it will be and worry will NOT change it.....or fix it or (waves hands and flails arms wildly) create it into some hocus pocus life .......ta da.! He or she will be loved.......and you just have to keep praying and believing that things are what they are for some BIGGER purpose. Cry when you need to, smile when you can......and laugh when you get pictures of the little thing VOGUING......cause she's got YOUR attitude all over.

    (and the parents of the MOther say things like "SHE doesn't look anything like us......where does she get THAT look from?" and YOU see YOU in her ALL.DAY.LONG. ROFLM pampers that I have pampers on .......yet......but you get what I'm sayin'_)

    CONGRATULATIONS.........Because GOD knew every SINGLE one of us was going to be here before WE did or GRAMMAS

    ps KNIT A BLUE
  9. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Hi Star,
    Once the shock wore off... I fell in Love!! I already adore He/She and always will no matter how much or how little I see Him/her. And your adventure gives me hope! And I am chosing to love Ant's girlfriend if for no other reason than she is the mommy of my grandchild and it will make my grandchilds life easier!
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member me, that is the way you have to do it. I have 3 women I have to attempt to at least like I do a really good job of smiling and nodding like one of those stupid things on a truckers dash.