Hello everyone. I'm still very new at this, but already I've found so much support on this site...I'm grateful every day that I found this forum. Right now, I've just about had it and I need advice. Maybe I just need to rant...I'm really not sure anymore. Maybe you can tell me. difficult child has been in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) summer placement for the last 2 months. Centre staff said that he's been doing well. We worked with them to make sure that our home program and the one they were using at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) were in sync, and everything was ticking along. But the placement was set to end last week. My nerves were stretched thin, anticipating difficult child's return. Now difficult child has been back since Saturday afternoon, and I'm just about at the breaking point. He's been defiant, uncooperative and impulsive. Nothing new there, but I was hoping to see even a tiny little improvement. After all these years, I guess I should have learned not to be so darned optimistic, but I can't seem to give up hoping... Adding to the stress...because of impulse control issues, difficult child needs total supervision. SO has a very intense work schedule and his workplace is very crowded, step-D is travelling right now, so difficult child has been at work with me every day since he's been home. My office is fairly quiet, and I'm in the far corner, so it's less disruptive to the other workers to have him here. However, it's totally disruptive to my work and my productivity has tanked, but there's nowhere else he can go. At home, all bedroom doors are once again locked, my little one's toys are secured in a locked cupboard (or difficult child will take and break them), "forbidden" foods (difficult child has severe reactions to foods, but can't keep his mitts off the ones that are bad for him) removed from the house, I walk around with a pocket full of keys, so that I can go from room to room unimpeded. We're in the process of arranging another Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement for the fall, but difficult child will be home with us in the intervening 6 weeks. And the icing on the cake...the pressure has set off all sorts of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and ADHD symptoms in me that I can normally keep under fairly good control, well, to the point where I'm considered merely eccentric, rather than a full-blown Aspie. I haven't slept since difficult child came home. I can't bear to be touched...flinch and jump a mile straight into the air if anyone so much as touches my arm. Can't eat, can't sit still, rocking, flapping, wandering in small circles...It's strange...difficult child and I are both on the autism spectrum. But where I tend toward quiet and solitude, order and routines, difficult child needs mess and chaos and lots of loud noises and flashing lights. difficult child has grown about a foot in the last year (he's now 6 ft 4, compared to my 5 ft not-quite-3). He's not violent or anything, but when he loses it I used to be able to just bundle him up and carry him wherever I needed to put him. With his never-ending arms and legs it's a much harder proposition these days. Right now I have difficult child locked in the conference room at my office, with a stack of DVDs and a giant bucket of lego. It's an ungodly mess in there, but at least I know where he is (and he's not ripping through my desk or file cabinets, or those of my co-workers). We all missed him terribly while he was away, but right now I just want him to go back (or maybe check into the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) myself). I feel like such a whiny baby and a bad mommy for even complaining about it. I know a lot of you on this forum have far worse issues to deal with. Maybe it's just stress and exhaustion talking, but any suggestions about how to get through the next several weeks without losing my mind would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Trinity.