Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by everywoman, Apr 15, 2009.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I am so glad you posted. I have often thought of you and Tony and the grandson over the past few years. I know that you were very close to the gs and am happy that Tony has stepped up to the plate and is working hard at being a father. I'm glad he has you as support and I also hope he is involved in some sort or 12 step or other support system so that he will stay away from the issues that lead to so many problems for him.

    Used to be Katmom
  2. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    thanks, katmom. I am very grateful he has chosen to be a better man. his life, his choice. my son has been thru a very intense many months therapeutic community program, as well as anger management, psychological counseling including issues of his father, parenting classes, drug and alcohol prevention and assessments and many other steps over the past year and a half. it is up to him to be the man he can be, at least he understands himself better now. it will be a lifelong journey for him.
    He and I are very blessed. the gs's mom chose to give up her son and asked me to take him which I did...until his dad proved he was able. so this is a prayer answered. may that be a message of hope to those still in troubled times.
  3. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Thanks Antsmom - I have mmissed you! I am still in troubled times! My son is out again - homeless. I really sometimes think it is hopeless.
  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I'm glad you posted too! I was literally just thinking about you the other day and wondered how things were going. I don't normally come to the PE page but I'm glad I did and I'm SO glad to hear things are going well for Ant!!!
  5. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Hey Janet, hello! Good to "see" you again.

    What a great update about Ant. He truly seems to have come a long way. You sure did a lot of therapy work, and it seems to have paid off. And you say he is working in roofing -- is that with your boyfriend? Are you still with boyfriend? I hope so.

    I bet you have great times with your grandson. I have always admired the way you went about caring for him during those difficult years, and I am so happy that you have now found contentment. They grow up so quickly, so enjoy every minute! You're not going to believe this, but my oldest granddaughter is getting married in June. And to me she is still that lovely little baby!!!

    How is Nick?

    Sorry about all the questions.

    Sending you a big hug,

    Love, Esther
  6. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    hi back everyone!
    esther/lmao about the ????
    nick is fine, still a PGH cop, living in a nice place and has a galpal. big scarey time and terribly sad when the three police officers from PGH were killed on duty.

    Ant (tony) got this job himself after making 30 or more calls, and hooking up with a friend in the union thru those calls.

    boyfriend closed his business when Ant went to prison in 2007, he was wanting a change and is now working a job where he does not climb on roofs or build houses anymore. much easier on his body, both of us are semi retired. We have been together 5 yrs, combined households last May, happily so.

    I see my grandson as much as still love those hugs!
  7. judi

    judi Active Member

    Janet - I think of you often. What a wonderful update on Tony and your precious family! Am so glad you can smile again!

    Quick update: difficult child had a son also in Nov 06. We see him very often and have him at least a couple weekends per month. He is so beautiful. Our son is gone - we have not had any contact with him since June 08 - unsure what happened as he has not talked to us in more than 18 months. Of course we worry a lot but life does go on, doesn't it?
  8. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    Hi Janet,
    I was just thinking of you the other day.
    I am so glad things are looking up with Tony.
    It sounds like things in your life are going well.
    Enjoy the peacefulness of your life, you deserve it.

  9. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Dearest Antsmom,
    How WONDERFUL to see you again! I have always admired your warmhearted strength.
    And what a great update on you all. With a mom like you it is no wonder that Tony is landing on his feet and continues to try...he is a survivor just like you.
    I'm so glad too that you have such a close relationship with your grandson. I have a grandson as well now...17 months old and just the light of all our lives. He is such a sweety, loves to give me kisses and take me by the hand to play with his toys and discover his world.

    Brief update...
    Oldest difficult child did time in prison as well. It was very hard on me to visit him there. After a year of visits and my own panic attacks, I had a psychotic mental breakdown, was hospitalized and discovered to have been manic and dxd with Bipolar, myself. All this while I was attending Al Anon regularly and was learning so much.

    Oldest difficult child is now living with a 32 yr old married woman...oh and oldest difficult child also got married last year (a gal he met at rehab at age 14/15) now seperated from her too.
    He is on probation and working for husband to make ends meet...dont' know how long the relationship with he and 32 yr old will last as it would appear she misses the money she had when she was with her husband.

    Meanwhile, young difficult child, decided to try a different route than his brother. Joined the Army...after taking a few college classes at home. Unfortuantely young difficult child was discharged from the Army for "sub Abuse" issues. Given a "General under honorable conditions" discharge. He and his wife have been living with his mother in law over the past month or 2. He is the father of lil Joey, my grandson.

    Recently young difficult child tried to kill himself and while in the ER spit on a police officer (apparently his spit spewed on 2 police officers) and so now is charged with 2 Felony's...uhg. What he really has is Bipolar just like me...but he is untreated and remains up/down all over the map...manic one min depressed the next.
    Mindy, his wife, is an enabler and pretty much allows young difficult child to do as he pleases.

    easy child is well...still bowling and quite good at it. Looks like she will get a full ride college scholarship from her bowling talents. She has revealed in the past year or so that she prefers girls over boys and that has been difficult for husband to accept...given his "religious convictions".

    So there ya have it...alittle of whats gone in my life with the boys and easy child.
    Again, it is so Wonderful to see you. I hope you'll stick around and post more...I miss you. Stay well my friend.

  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I had been wondering how you and Ant were doing. Sounds like things are working out well, and that Ant is working hard to make it so. Such a good update.

    So nice to see you.

  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Janet, I am happy for you!!!
  12. addie

    addie New Member

    Hiya ... and I didn't really know it was a 'welcome back' to you too, Janet. I should have picked that up from the responses on my thread.

    Reading the responses on yours, and on other threads I am trying to catch up on, I can't help but note that whether we wanted to be or not, we were the AWARE parents. Not the ones who thought little Johnny was just being difficult. We knew from early on that something wasn't right, and we did all we could.
    ALL of us.
    So very many sad not-endings but ..... I mean those who have done jail time or are still there. So many 'lost' young adults. But .... quite a few who are doing well, which is fantastic.

    But we did all we could; we did not ignore or turn away. And I think most of us are still hanging in there in some way or other.

    I could not believe that I got a call from Jess's bio-mom last night (and spoke to Jess also) and she was so ..... natural. As though NOTHING had ever happened, as though our life has been normal. Yet she's been in jail twice and is facing another stint. She wants to drop in! (Yeah, give me notice so I can lock everything up!!!! Quickest sticky fingers on the planet!) And the way she said it, it was like she was 'just like any other daughter' ... "Just thought I would drop by, mom." "Sure, Jess - it will be lovely to see you." Which it will. She calls both of us mom.

    So we who struggle to understand know one thing .... our difficult children who are still difficult children, though not children any more, still don't see things the way we do; they don't understand us, the so-called 'normal' people.

    I guess ours is not to question why, ours is just to .... hang in .

    But back to Ant ..... I so well remember his ant-ics! And look at him now!
    It was WONDERFUL to read about him. Well done, you!!!!!!

  13. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Janet, just wanted to add my good wishes for ant and grandson...... good to know he is out of prison and gs has a more stable life....... good to hear from you....
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Janet, you know I'm thrilled for you. :D DDD
  15. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I joined this forum around 10 yrs ago when my son was just turning 16. I think addie hit it on the head about being AWARE parents.
    in reading the updates about everyone's kids...I see that.
    beautifully said, addie! well done, fellow parents!
    I do believe we will continue to hang in there in some way or another til we die
  16. Marla

    Marla New Member

    Hi Janet! Looks like it was pop out of the woodwork week.

    Glad to hear Ant is doing so well!