Anxiety.....help

[tab346]

My daughter has been crying and whining and yelling everyday for a week now. I don't know what to do for her. Anytime anyone speaks to her, she just has a meltdown for long periods of time and we are all feeling the stress. I have a call in to her BSC and her psychiatrist but they haven't called back yet. I try to hold her and calm her down. I try putting her in her room to calm down, but then she just escalates and imagines new things to be upset about and then she's in full blown excorcist mode. Please, God, someone give me some ideas. I've been trying what you all have said and that is not working. I feel so badly for her, but I also feel badly for all the other kids in the house. It's really stressful here on a daily basis.

 

[tab346]

I forgot to mention that along with the Generalized Anxiety Disorder, she has also been diagosed with Disruptive Behavior Disorder not otherwise specified. I'm not sure which category these issues fall under or it they are both. But, it sure would be nice to find some help with these behaviors.

Thanks.

 

[Jena]

hi,

is she any on medications right now? how old is she? i try to do breathing and visualization with my little one who will be 9 because she suffers from extreme anxiety. i also rub her arms her back, these things work if shes not too far gone. also a warm bath and bubbles. i'll try just about anything when it 's bad. what i've noticed too is if i'm anixety ridden by her behavior or upset she worsens i'Tourette's Syndrome a sick cycle we feed off eachother at times.

good luck let me know how it goes

Jen

 

[tab346]

She is not currently on any medications, but she has an appointment on the 31st for a medication evaluation. She is 6. She'll be 7 in March.

 

[flutterbee]

Any idea on what's triggering the anxiety? Trying to identify triggers is the hard part, but necessary. My daughter was not able to recognize her anxiety for what it was so, therefore, could not identify triggers. That's where I came in...trying to identify what has changed, what happened, etc. It's a lot of detective work at times....might have been something at school so minor that no one even noticed but to your girl it's huge, just as an example. You really can't quell the anxiety attacks until you can figure out what's causing them. With my kiddo that could be anything at any given time.

 

[tab346]

It seems as though anything and everything triggers them.Right now she's having a melt down because she scraped her knee and I asked her if she was alright. She said yes and then right into, " I want to be good, I want to be good, did you hear me mom, I want to be good." This has been going on for about 15 minutes now. An hour ago it was because today is not her Occupational Therapist (OT) day and that turned into, "you just don't want to take me, you hate me, you hate me, you hate me, you don't like me." Despite talking to her calmly and explaining that she goes on Thursday, she cried for 45 minutes saying the above sentence over and over the whole time.

 

[tab346]

Also, she doesn't seem to grasp that it's anxiety or even what anxiety is. When I try to talk to her about it she goes in to a tantrum again for long periods of time. I have a very hard time getting her out of these modes.

 

[susiestar]

It sounds like she is getting "stuck" in a behavior. What if you do something very strange, something to get her attention. We were given this advice once, and when my son acted "stuck" I stood on my head. It was not pretty, but it sure unstuck him. He just had to know WHY?? And HOW?? I have also broken in to strange songs, handed him a cookie and told him to "Sweeten up", basically anything to break the pattern.

I really think you are going to need medication.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[flutterbee]

Yeah, it does sound like she's getting stuck. Same thing my daughter's therapist said was that my daughter can't think and feel at the same time. When she's getting stuck, she's in feeling mode and no amount of rationalizing will work. She's unable to at that time. Susie's ideas are good.

You might want to look into EMDR or talk to your therapist about it. EMDR gets both sides of the brain working at the same time so that people with anxiety or traumatic disorders such as PTSD can work through it. therapist is also going to have to work on teaching her to recognize the symptoms of anxiety which has to be done before she can learn to cope with it. If she can't recognize it, she won't know to employ any tools she's been taught for coping. Part of not recognizing it is age. According to our therapist, kids don't typically have that much self-awareness until the age of 10 or so.

One other thing: any idea where her blood sugar levels are? My blood sugar dropped suddenly tonight and it took over 2 hours to come back up - that was with eating cheese and peanut butter and even drank a regular coke (bleck) for the sugar boost. I thought about your daughter during it because I felt so horrible...I couldn't deal with anything. I was snapping at my kids and feeling emotional besides feeling like my body was shutting down.

Really, the only thing I can suggest other than trying to get her unstuck like Susie suggested is to just offer as much comfort and reassurance as you can. Probably, she won't remember your words, but she'll remember you being there. Then after she's calmed down and is more rational try to engage in dialogue that might help you determine where it's coming from. Asking directly probably won't work because she probably doesn't know. Ask questions about what she was doing just before, how she was feeling - did her stomach hurt, etc - to try to narrow it down.

 

[tab346]

I have been checking her blood sugar levels regularly and they are fine. What is an EMDR?

 

[flutterbee]

EMDR is a therapeutic technique. It's the most studied psychological tool out there. I'm not sure what age it is used on, but I was thinking it could be used with younger children. We used it with my daughter starting at the age of 10, I believe. Maybe 11.

Here's some info:

http://www.emdria.org/

 

[tab346]

Thanks, I'll check it out in the morning. I'm going to actually try to get some sleep tonight.

 

[Jena]

hi,

i think soo too. yet go to the evaluation and see what you think. anxiety is a very hard thing to deal with. my daughter has it everyday as well, her trigger is school, social situations, etc.

sounds silly but have you tried any soothing types of things at home with her? i know it can be so very frustrating when it happens. she is getting stuck in behavior which is so hard.

i do breathing and visualization. dont know if she's too young for that, mine kinda gets it she'll be 9 but began teaching her at 8.

let me look through my anxiety books i have and i'll post tmrw night. see if i can find soemthing in there that i'm not remembering. try the children's anxiety network. that's a good website with info and ideas.

lots of hugs
Jen

 

[BusynMember]

Who diagnosed her?
Does she have any developmental problems? Late speech? Poor motor skills?
Any psychiatric or substance abuse on either side of the family tree?
Many disorders cause anxiety. Disruptive Behavior Disorder is kind of a "catch-all" not really addressing why she is disruptive.
Welcome to the board!

 

[tab346]

She was diagnosed by XXXXX, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and School Psychologist. He is fabulous. He's with XXXXXX here in Pittsburgh, PA. My daughter was very medically fragile at birth and had 5 surgeries before she was 3 months old. She had a feeding tube placed at birth and removed at 3. She's had the whole team of therapists since birth working with her. To date, she is on target developmentally and with speech. She does have trouble with fine motor skills still though. Her bio mom has Bi-Polar and Schizophrenia. She is currently doing another stay at the state mental hospital. The bio dad had severe ADHD and gets disability for that. Both children are from the same biological parents. They had so much against them from the start. But, I am determined to get them the best help that I can.

 

[Jena]

your a really good person, and they are lucky to have you.

Jen

 

[flutterbee]

I'm sorry, I can't remember. Is she receiving Occupational Therapist (OT) for Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)?

 

[jenn4anthony]

my son used to do this ALL THE TIME. I think that it would be in your best interest to just let your daughter cry and scream wherever she is, as long as she is safe and has nothing around her that can hurt her. Once your daughter stops screaming than you may want to try to calm her down. Honestly, my son, who is 5 still does this from time to time, but when he was 2 until about 4 it was non-stop..and what i am suggesting to you is what my husband and I did..but, we didnt do it right away, we got into the "dance" of it all with Anthony. Our parent counselor suggested that we just leave him be, not engage/dance and to let him come around when he was ready. Now, you have other children, I see, so, you might want them to go into another room, while this is going on, or, maybe ask your oldest if she is home, to go into the basement with them if you have one...or put a favorite TV show on for them, I see your other children are young. I know what you are going through, the stress, the pain, the misery, the confussion, it is hard. Does your daughter like music? Maybe you can try putting on some soft music or baby einstein music or the backyardigans music on a low volume..this will shift things I am sure....let us know how everything goes..i am here for you always....you hang in there and keep doing an awesome job with your children, you will see your daughter improve...over time....hugs, and friendship

 

[BusynMember]

She has a loaded genetic tree. My son was a foster child and his birthmother did drugs and who knows what else was wrong with her? He is on the autism spectrum and he's lucky it's not worse. I would want to keep following your daughter--problems with birth often do cause disorders plus she has a heck of a genepool. I know you like your psychologist, but I would consider a second opinion from a neuropsychologist or a Psychiatrist (with the MD). We never had much luck with plain psychologists. They didn't seem to understand all the possibilities that could be causing my son's behaviors which lead to lots of misdiagnoses and medications.
I would personally NOT medicate any child until I was positive, in my own mind, and had two opinions on what was wrong. My son was on at least ten medications before we found out his disorder didn't require medications, just vigilant interventions. I don't like when professionals rush medications and in my opinion as parents it's best to get a few opinions before deciding what to do with our kids. If one professional isn't improving the life of our children, even if we like them, sometimes it's time to move on. I loved my son's psychiatrist, but it turned out, after three years, that his bipolar diagnosis of my son was wrong. My son is doing great off medications four years later and is clearly not bipolar and clearly IS on the autism spectrum (that is something that is often hard to see when kids are younger). My motto is "Leave no stone unturned."
I've also been misdiagnosed a lot. I have bipolar and can't tell you how long it took for the doctors to get it right. I *do* have to be on medications. It all depends on what's wrong. I don't like medications to correct every behavior. JMO and welcome

 

[tab346]

We are on the waiting list for Dr. XXXXX who is highly recommended by everyone on autismlink. He is a neuropsychologist and he does a lot of biomedical stuff. I'm not sure what all of that is either yet. But, we are excited about the appointment with him.