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Failure to Thrive
Anxious for son and myself
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 696497" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>There is a reason that the NAMI approach is "go slow". You are dealing with mental illness, not a situation where the primary problem is addiction or even drug use (as they are not all addicts).</p><p></p><p>The fact that him being in your home triggers <em>your</em> anxiety, is a huge problem. It means that you also have a problem, and mixing the two problems together makes the problems multiply. SO, in my opinion, you are not wrong to not want him there. You need time and space to look after you - and need to be actively doing your part in getting help for you.</p><p></p><p>Adult kids with mental illness need a controlled approach. Not "babying" and not "tough love". It's a really fine line sometimes.</p><p></p><p>This is just my opinion, but... yes, he needs to be staying in his own apartment. If he needs company, Dad should be going over and spending time with him, or more importantly, taking him places and doing things with him. Get him out of his rut. Him coming over to your house for the daytime, or overnight, isn't getting him out of his rut.</p><p></p><p>If he cannot work, he should be able to get disability. In which case, his money should not "run out". You might have to subsidize while he goes through the process. But he has to step up to the plate on one side or the other... either get his but in gear and take a job he can handle (night clerk in a hotel, for example, or night stocker in a big box store... lots of low-interaction jobs), OR he gets approved for disability, to buy more time to get help and get going.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 696497, member: 11791"] There is a reason that the NAMI approach is "go slow". You are dealing with mental illness, not a situation where the primary problem is addiction or even drug use (as they are not all addicts). The fact that him being in your home triggers [I]your[/I] anxiety, is a huge problem. It means that you also have a problem, and mixing the two problems together makes the problems multiply. SO, in my opinion, you are not wrong to not want him there. You need time and space to look after you - and need to be actively doing your part in getting help for you. Adult kids with mental illness need a controlled approach. Not "babying" and not "tough love". It's a really fine line sometimes. This is just my opinion, but... yes, he needs to be staying in his own apartment. If he needs company, Dad should be going over and spending time with him, or more importantly, taking him places and doing things with him. Get him out of his rut. Him coming over to your house for the daytime, or overnight, isn't getting him out of his rut. If he cannot work, he should be able to get disability. In which case, his money should not "run out". You might have to subsidize while he goes through the process. But he has to step up to the plate on one side or the other... either get his but in gear and take a job he can handle (night clerk in a hotel, for example, or night stocker in a big box store... lots of low-interaction jobs), OR he gets approved for disability, to buy more time to get help and get going. [/QUOTE]
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Anxious for son and myself
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