Any advice on my serious depression

[klmno]

Steely- I am behind on reading and responding to threads.... there have been times when everything seems to accumulate so much that I can't see any good in anything and I get stymied (sp) in my whole life. I have battled periods of depression (and anxiety) in the past, so I can usually recognize it, just like you recognize yours.

Honestly, I allow myself a little time to give into it at first- not to the point of suicidal thoughts or anything, but a few days of being lazy, sleeping, pouting, being angry (not acting on the anger, just feeling it), etc. Then, if I can't snap out of it, I try to put the past therapuetic techniques in action- gradually. They are pretty much the same as others' have advised, so I won't repeat them. But- I do keep a mental or written list of options like "write it down", "make a list of what I wish I was doing", "make a list of what I NEED to be doing", "answer emails, letters, phone calls", "go to the store", etc. These are simple, basic things, but if I write it sown, I am more apt to make myself get up and do ONE thing on that list today. Then, tomorrow, I do 2 or 3, and so on. As hard as it is to get started, I ALWAYS feel better once I have made those first steps, because I know I have beaten it again and survived and am doing what I should. It makes me feel so good!!

Just remember, you can only eat an elephant by taking one bite at a time. But, you have to take those bites.

 

[KTMom91]

No other advice, just sending many hugs.

 

[gottaloveem]

Steely,
((((HUGS)))) I never knew what depression was till my son died. For the first year after Alex died, I slept everday after work. I would get up and eat dinner and go back to sleep. The second year, I wasn't tired anymore, but going out to malls, and anyplace people were, sent me in a panic, just seeing what I perceived as whole families made me cry, so I stayed home. Now I can go out to public places and don't necessarily always get panic attacks when I leave my house. Now that I am into my third year without my Alex, I do feel better most of the time, yet not the person I was before.

Losing your sister has probably sent you deeper then you anticipated it would. My only advice would be to be gentle on yourself, take each day, one day at a time. It will probably be awhile before you feel like totally reinvesting in life.

I love the journal idea, it can be a great way to sort out feelings when it is too difficult to speak.

I go to a website only for parents who have lost children. But I know that webhealing.com has a forum for bereaved parents and other forums for people who are grieving losses other than children.

Griefwork is hard stuff. Your beautiful sister died not that long ago. It will take time for you to enjoy the stuff you once did. I do believe though, that one day, you will feel much better than you do right now.

Take care of yourself.

Love,
Lia

 

[Steely]

Wow, Lia. Your post just made me cry.
Yes, she was my beautiful sister, and God I love her.
I just saw that your precious Alex died on 4/23, which is my birthday. So many hugs to you. So many.