Any Ideas?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 4sumrzn, May 18, 2008.

  1. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    It's the 8th year of baseball for easy child & I want to see the boy play when I am able to go!!!!! difficult child has ALWAYS been the main reason I can't attend sports events with easy child. The past 4 years he played for the same, everyone pretty much had a clue what was going on with difficult child over those years. Heck, they even begged me to come & offered to entertain difficult child so I could watch (the best that they could....she's quite the handful:devil2:). husband was coaching then, so I really didn't have extra help during games. Anyway, that worked "some" over the past 4 years...I got to see a few games (could hardly EVER go before that)....but, now easy child is on a new team. I sent out a letter at the beginning of the season "explaining" (short version) a bit about our family situation with difficult child & how we try our hardest to attend as a family, but "things" will come up :embarrassed:. I didn't go into detail about her off the wall words & conversations (mainly with herself or even the trashcan for that matter). I just let them know she has disabilities & some things may happen that are not "normal" to them, mainly their children. I also explained that I would like them to let their children know....explain it to them also, especially if they witness a uncomfortable moment. So far when difficult child has attended, nothing too major has happened. Heck, I even wonder if some of them even read the daggon memo....I've been asked some things they should just "get" from what I've informed them of & STILL don't because she looks "normal". I'll stop on that.

    I'm to the past couple of games. She has ALWAYS been sensitive to noise. We know that. But, she has been SO much better if she is prepared for it. drills at school. They remind her every 5 minutes on those days. Thunder.....we make sure the TV/radio/fan is up to "help". The games....I've tried everything. We've been working on baseball since she was a baby. The latest was one of my first tricks, brought out the headphones. It's NOT WORKING! If easy child is up to bat, she's freaking out screaming, yelling & crying. He makes a good play & his name is yelled.....there she goes again! Now, she's even yelling at everyone to leave her alone..stop talking to quiet. It's really bad when her brother is involved in a play, but bad enough when anyone else on the team is being cheered for. We've tried sitting way out by ourselves....she can't stand it, wants to be with everyone else. Food works for the calmer portions of the game, quite well actually!LOL! It's the emotions over her brother & the loud noise. Anything suggestions?

    by the way....the two of them can't even sit at the table together, but she screams for him like he's being hurt during the game (not too sure if she really grasps "hurt" though...just sounds that way). And, she's ALWAYS cried when the game is or lose....she freaks out wanting to hug her brother!

    Any insite? Thanks for listening. I just want to watch my son play ball. I will never have a babysitter. easy child gets a bit bent over her "noise & actions" during games, but wants me there. What to do....what to do?

    PS....I got a bit grumpy with difficult child after easy child hit a homerun today:woohoo:. I couldn't help it. I WANT to see him play & WANT to cheer him on, but have to deal with THIS!?

    OK, I'm done.....sorry:sorry:
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    WOW! What a situation. All I can do is offer HUGS- sorry. I was going to suggest having someone else watch her, but you said a babysitter is out. The only other thing I can think of is that a sibling of another player who is there at the game, but really not too interested in the game, watch her so you are still nearby. Maybe offer to pay them $5 or something to entertain her and keep her at a little distance.

    I wish I could be of more help- this sounds like a difficult situation and I don't blame you for wanting to be there.
  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    You mentioned headphones...have you tried ear plugs?

    Do they have a playground near the field where you can take her to swing when easy child isn't playing?
  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Is husband still coaching?

    Could the two of you take turns going to the game?

    Do you know any of the parents well enough to ask one of them to video the game for you on days that you can't go? I know that it is not the same. But if easy child hit a home run you'd be able to re-live it.

    What about hiring a sitter that came with you to the game? An older neighbor?
  5. Christy

    Christy New Member

    What a tough situation. I can understand your wanting to be there for easy child and I give you a ton of credit for going to the games. It is not easy being the one responsible for a difficult child especially when they are causing such a disruption. I like BB Kitty's idea of video taping the game. That way, you would have it on tape to watch with easy child when difficult child makes it to hard to go to the game.

  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I know she can't have a sitter - but what about a something of her own? Surely there has GOT to be someone in that town that has a class of say gymnastics that she would love? Something for her with SOMEONE that could understand her?

    I know a sitter is out - but what about calling Mental health and asking for an intern to do play therapy with her game night? Someone who would "get" her and allow you some freedom to see your son play.
  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Ok, I totally understand that you can't leave her with a sitter...however...I hired high school seniors or college kids intending to go into Special Education to go places with me and difficult child. And they weren't sitters, they were "big buddies". I was right there, but they interacted and dealt with difficult child while I tended to whatever other thing it was that I was doing. It worked well for us.
    The high school guidance counselor got us the high school kids. After they left for college, most kept in touch enough that I was able to get contacts from them.
    Even at my dad's funeral, 3 hours from home, I called up a girl who knew some locals and told them what I needed and she delivered to me a college senior 3 months from graduating with a degree in spec education. She chased my difficult child around the funeral home for hours. Without her, I don't know what that event would have been like. A worse kind of he!!, tho, I'm sure.
  8. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Wow, thanks for the wonderful ideas! I know, financially, we can't really hire anyone to help out. The video taping is a great idea! brother in law gave us their old video camera awhile back to tape difficult child during her meltdowns & such to show the docs. Well, no luck getting much on tape.....she caught on to that big time & avoided that thing very well! I think I'll send it with husband to the games now!!! Actually, our home field works out much better (when we have games there). There is a fenced in play ground & she is close enough to keep an eye on her. AND, the whole noise issue is MUCH better.....she's busy with the loud kids & is a little further away from the cheering. Problem being, most kids only put up with her for a very short time & "things" start happening. It just REALLY stinks that I've had to avoid/miss out on SO MANY things over the past 8 years because of difficult child. Sorry, not feeling sorry for myself....just complaining this morning!