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Any Success Stories or Do "Difficult Children" Ever Come Around?
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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 714655" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>I hopefully have a success story in the making. Daughter, who will be 26 next month, moved out. This happened a couple of months ago. She now shares a lovely condo in a gated community in a neighboring town with a long time friend. She has always held down a job, but struggles mightily with depression and mood swings. Money is tight because she makes just above minumum wage, but she's delighted to be on her own and determined to be self-suffient.</p><p></p><p>I found this board when she was 11 and threatened to stab me with a knife. She's always been a challenge. She was never in treatment, but we ran the gamut of doctors, therapy, and medication. She engaged in a lot of risky behavior during her teens years and events happened which left her traumatized as a young adult. Once she was 18, she refused all help. Drinking, drugging, and more risky behavior in the years after. Lots of arguing with us about her behavior and her life in general. She was never violent or stole from us, fortunately. She and I were very strained in our relationship for many years. We still struggle, but it's better. Finally, she decided to try and turn things around. Found a therapist and started seeing her regularly. Then, found a Dr. to prescribe medications to stablize her moods. I set boundries for myself to let her handle it. I call it "gentle support".</p><p></p><p>For all those years she claimed to want to move out of this "h*** hole!" and never left, she came to me and calmly stated she was ready, and wanted, to move out about six months ago. "Of course you do! It's normal to want to be independent and strike it out on your own." was my response. I reminded myself, "Gentle support, gentle support". Lots of ups and downs when they were apartment hunting. There were tears when they were rejected. Rents are high in our area, and although Daughter has good credit and a stable job history, she had no rental history. It took perserverence for many months for them to find an affordable and decent place. I was nervous when their first months rent was due. I kept it to myself, but honestly, I don't want her to move back home! Love her, but she was lazy, careless, and a complete slob in our home. I have to spend thousands to hire a contractor to get her bedroom usable again long with the plumber to get the bathroom she used back in shape.</p><p></p><p>I do appreciate her "Miss you" texts I get on occasion now. So, I suppose I am what you might call cautiously optimistic at this point for her future.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 714655, member: 831"] I hopefully have a success story in the making. Daughter, who will be 26 next month, moved out. This happened a couple of months ago. She now shares a lovely condo in a gated community in a neighboring town with a long time friend. She has always held down a job, but struggles mightily with depression and mood swings. Money is tight because she makes just above minumum wage, but she's delighted to be on her own and determined to be self-suffient. I found this board when she was 11 and threatened to stab me with a knife. She's always been a challenge. She was never in treatment, but we ran the gamut of doctors, therapy, and medication. She engaged in a lot of risky behavior during her teens years and events happened which left her traumatized as a young adult. Once she was 18, she refused all help. Drinking, drugging, and more risky behavior in the years after. Lots of arguing with us about her behavior and her life in general. She was never violent or stole from us, fortunately. She and I were very strained in our relationship for many years. We still struggle, but it's better. Finally, she decided to try and turn things around. Found a therapist and started seeing her regularly. Then, found a Dr. to prescribe medications to stablize her moods. I set boundries for myself to let her handle it. I call it "gentle support". For all those years she claimed to want to move out of this "h*** hole!" and never left, she came to me and calmly stated she was ready, and wanted, to move out about six months ago. "Of course you do! It's normal to want to be independent and strike it out on your own." was my response. I reminded myself, "Gentle support, gentle support". Lots of ups and downs when they were apartment hunting. There were tears when they were rejected. Rents are high in our area, and although Daughter has good credit and a stable job history, she had no rental history. It took perserverence for many months for them to find an affordable and decent place. I was nervous when their first months rent was due. I kept it to myself, but honestly, I don't want her to move back home! Love her, but she was lazy, careless, and a complete slob in our home. I have to spend thousands to hire a contractor to get her bedroom usable again long with the plumber to get the bathroom she used back in shape. I do appreciate her "Miss you" texts I get on occasion now. So, I suppose I am what you might call cautiously optimistic at this point for her future. [/QUOTE]
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