Any suggestions for ODD - diet, medications, or transitioning from biodad's to home?

[KierstenNiChol]

difficult child, diagnosed ODD a few months ago, is flaring really bad right now. We were making progress at home with posted family rules, chores, and consequenses. Unfortunately, he's been spending quite a bit of time at biodad's this summer, and when he comes home, he's off the charts disrespectful! He even asked me last week if he could stay home by himself all day rather than go to the grandparents' while husband and I are working! difficult child and daughter are often by themselves at biodad's house (he and his wife both work), so they don't have a lot of authority to deal with. Then they come back to our home and authority figures, and he doesn't seem able to cope very well. Any suggestions for easing the transition from biodad's to our home? We had been making such good progress, then it all blew up last week. Sometimes I wonder if we're ever going to get our heads above water!!!!! I keep trying to look on the bright side, realizing things could be a LOT worse, but then I get kicked in the teeth again (found out tonite that nephew is more than likely autisum spectrum; testing in the future). Too much drama!! In the words of a friend's daughter, "I done! I done! I done!"

I'm also wondering, after reading some other posts, if diet may play a role in his flare-ups. How would I go about starting to figure that out? Also, are there any vitamins/supplements/medications that are useful/helpful for this condition? I'm so frustrated trying to find information on ODD!

Thanks for listening, and for any suggestions.

 

[Josie]

Most of us here think that ODD is a symptom of an underlying problem and if you can address that problem, the ODD will improve. My daughter was diagnosis'ed with depression and ODD. Her problem turned out to be gluten and dairy intolerance.

The best way to figure this out is to eliminate suspect foods for a while, see if the behaviour improves, then reintroduce and see what happens. Unfortunately, this will be almost impossible if biodad is not part of the plan and your difficult child goes there regularly. Even a tiny amount can cause the behaviour to reappear, so if he has any of the forbidden food, you might not see any change.

I am on a gluten free diet and I can feel the difference in myself for 3 weeks sometimes if I get a trace of gluten. I don't think it lasts that long in my daughter, but I can't be sure how often she actually cheats on her diet. She does still have some very extreme behaviour when she does cheat.

When she cheats and is back to her ODD ways, we just try to stay out of her way. We don't insist that she do chores but she does get a consequence for not doing them. She has to spend more time in her room and she frequently loses her cell phone and TV privileges. I try to make it as unpleasant for her as I can so she will be motivated to stay on her diet, but at the same time, I don't push her. This works for us, because it is a temporary thing but it wouldn't feel right if she was this way all the time.

The only luck I have had controlling ODD is with a diet change. If you are interested in trying a diet, you could try to send his food with him when he goes to his dad's. I still have to do that sometimes when my daughter goes some place else. She started this diet when she was 10. I told her she could eat whatever she wanted in the beginning, as long as it didn't have gluten, just so she wouldn't cheat and I could see if it would work.

 

[BusynMember]

I'm one who thinks ODD is just a trashcan diagnosis when a professional has no idea. All of our kids have symptoms of ODD, but that's not the main diagnosis. Has your child ever seen a neuropsychologist?

Diets don't work for all kids. And in my opinion they aren't a good fix simply because no teenager, let alone a difficult child, is going to follow a rigid diet when he gets into those teen years and we can't monitor him that well. They'll eat what they want to eat and what they can get their hands on. If they don't sneak at home, they'll sneak at school during lunch or when out with friends. I'd want to find out the main diagnosis. first before I did anything at all. He could be missing out on interventions that are badly needed. JMO and welcome

 

[Charmedpea]

Hi,

I was told over a year ago my daugther has odd, adhd, adjustment disorder with-depressional mood.

We had her on concerta for a while that did help her focus for home instruction with-school ended up finishing the year with a 3.80 gpa.

I havent tried the food thing diet. She just turned 15yrs. We did start a crisis intervention from mst. They come to the house 2 times a week for hour in a half. She doesnt like them.. They are on call 24/7.
Things I have to work on.
dont engage
when & then (When you clean the bathroom THEN you can go to balloon fest.
Button pushing (she is very good at that is where I dont engage.)
engaging feeds the monster. Stop feeding the monster. (dont engage).
dont justify myself.

One Liners to use:
Kids seem to have a repertoire of "hooks" they use to get their parents to argue with them. Here are some Love and Logic One-Liners that will get parents off the hook and cause children to do more of the thinking.

Remember: The "one-liners" are only effective when said with genuine compassion and understanding. These are never intended to be flippant remarks that discount the feelings of the child. If an adult uses these responses to try to get the better of a child, the problem will only become worse. The adult’s own attitude at these times is crucial to success.

• "Probably so."
• "I know."
• "Nice try."
• "I bet it feels that way."
• "What do you think you’re going to do."
• "I don’t know. What do you think?"
• "Bummer. How sad."
• "Thanks for sharing that."
• "Don’t worry about it now."
• "That’s an option."
• "I bet that’s true."
• "Maybe you’ll like what we have for the next meal better."
• "What do you think I think about that?"
• "I’m not sure how to react to that. I’ll have to get back to you on it."
• "I’ll let you know what will work for me."
• "I’ll love you wherever you live."

Love & Logic

here is a helpful link to love and logic. I just started reading threw some of it.

http://www.loveandlogic.com/articles.html#teens

for today WHEN & THEN worked.
There were many times I didnt think hubby of almost 19yrs we would still be married. she has pit us against each other so many times over the last 3 years. We have 3 years left till she is 18 and hopefully get her turned around to where she is a productive member of the community. And out of the court system.

I have to remember she is not personaly attacking me. she is trying to get her way and get me to bite her hook. My husband has his one liner to get me to stop engaging and my son has his. If either of them catch me engaging with her that is there way of stopping me.

And have a safety plan in place incase she tries to overdose again or hurt herself or us.

In order for anything to work you need help from everyone especially her biodad. He needs to be on board otherwise all your efforts will be down the toliet.

 

[JJJ]

The gluten-free, casein-free All-Natural diet is a pain in the bootie but we have seen such huge progress in our boys that it is worth it.

 

[Charmedpea]

Where is this diet anywhere on the web? I would love to take a look at it.
Charmed