Any thoughts on a difficult child forum??

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Dec 15, 2007.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I was mentioning to someone (a short-term therapist) that I'd found a forum that was a great resource for parents of difficult child's. He asked if there was a similar one for the difficult child's to posts messages, ask questions, etc. That has me wondering, since some of our difficult child's seem to need more friends or communication with peers that can understand them, etc., has anyone looked into the idea of an online forum for our difficult child's? I can see some drawbacks- what if they don't keep it positive, what if we thought they were on a constructive forum and they were really somewhere else online, etc.

    Other opinions???
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    My guess would be the biggest problem would be monitoring. We, the parents, would want it to be positive, supportive. The kids are more than likely would use it to vent, blame and flame. They'd probably resent a parentin being the administrator or moderator and I doubt many kids would have the strength to cope with the blastings they would get for trying to moderator or tone down a thread.
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I think that is a wonderful idea for somewhere else run by someone else and so long as none of the difficult child's ever find us here.

    Once in a while we get a teenage or young adult difficult child who posts. They get support, and then it always deteriorates quite quickly.

    This is a safe place where we don't generally have to engage in circular logic and public disagreements with our kids, who would most certainly find us and bait and troll us, or triangulate us against each other.

    Perhaps that therapist would like to start a site? He could use his expertise to sort out the catfights between difficult child's, and the sore feelings amongst Warrior Moms about losing the one safe haven we have.
  4. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    I don't know about a site for difficult child's. I would be afraid of what would happen with it. Kids don't usually have the empathy that we do. I would be afraid of what it would turn into. I definitely wouldn't want it attached to this site. The last thing we need are all of our difficult child's reading what we post here.

  5. ysne58

    ysne58 New Member

    There is a family run site called powerpets. The family that runs it lives in Canada. My daughter and I both play that game and it is very definitely well monitored and safe. They also teach responsible pet care.

    I wonder if they might be willing to set up and monitor a forum for our kids to use. They do have the expertise to do this because of this game they run.

    If anyone else thinks this might be an option, I'd be happy to contact them.
  6. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    There are established forums for teens with AS and I bet they are out there for other disorders as well. I expect that those would be far more likely to be helpful when divided up by specific disorders than throwing them all in together.

    Try googling Bipolar teen forum, ADHD forum, etc.
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I've seen similar sites in the past and they were heavily monitored, ie, all posts were approved by a moderator before being publicly posted.
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    ok, let's see- 1) difficult child's would have to follow rules, 2) difficult child's would have to be polite and get along and not get too angry, 3) difficult child's would have to stay focused on being positive, 4) difficult child's would have to try to help each other, 5) difficult child's would have to make wise decisions independently....

    Oh!!!! Now I get it-

    :hammer: DUHHH!!

    Seriously, I wouldn't want my difficult child "invading" my safe haven here either, but it would be nice if he could get online at some forum anytime he needed to vent and get some feedback like "try to look at it this way" or "try doing this next time" and it be feedback that helps him (and us). I guess that would require more of a counselor on-line, or as you guys are implying- it would take more of an adult moderator than anything, and he wouldn't seek that out.

    Oh, well, guess I'm just dreaming!!

  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I think - maybe have to ask Fran or the owner before her (sorry brain forgets your name) but I think there was a site like that for our kids. I don't think it did so well due to lack of participation.

    It is a nice idea - kids sure are a lot more computer savy today than they were 6 years ago. I'm pretty sure I came here 1st time in Feb. 2001. Then Joined in August. (admits) I was a lurker.

    Guess you'd have to ask one of the other moderators - the OLDER ones (OHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh she did NOT say that) she should have said
    Guess you'll have to ask one of the moderators that has been here longer. :faint:
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Star is right. There was a site that was for kids that had very little traffic. I think the kids are tired of being different and just do not want to think about it that much.

    They want to do 'normal' teenager sites. Where they are mostly irresponsible, inappropriate and unable to be social....but they can hide there.
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    My kids are involved with Gaia. It seems to work fairly well, although maybe not as well moderated sometimes as I would like. easy child 2/difficult child 2's exBF is also a Gaia member, that's where he blogged so publicly and nastily about her when they broke up. However, other Gaia members did step in to tell him off.

    Gaia is not specifically for problem kids. It is a somewhat escapist but fun forum where there is an option to have a personal, private chat to another member when this is needed. I do know other difficult children of member of this site are also Gaia kids.

    husband was a bit unsure of it, until he joined (to check it out) and found it was set up very carefully. The moderators will respond fast to any naughty stuff (such as spamming or being inappropriate). We've even let difficult child 3 join, when we wouldn't encourage him to join any other online community. This way he gets some practice in social skills as well as communicating in writing.

    It's a thought, anyway.

  12. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I haven't followed the teen forums at Wrong Planet (Asperger's) but I do know that the general forums aren't heavily moderated. They do step in at a point but I've seen more leeway there. Note: not everything is PG at this site--a lot of AS adults have adult issues and do discuss them but in general when I've popped in I've seen a lot of helpful interaction there..