Everyone at the meeting needs to know diagnosis and any specific needs and symptoms of your child. Your stance is to prove and hold the position that your child's special needs lead to the incident in question. Unless of course their need is that they are deaf but they committed murder- IOW- if it's obvious that the diagnosis and special needs had nothing to do with the incident, it's hard to prove. But, for instance, my son went out of control after doubliong his prozac. We didn't know he was BiPolar (BP) then and I didn't know that the medication change could trigger mania- that was right before I found this board. I also didn't know that iep members don't vote and it makes no difference if 90 of them agree but I as the parent don't agree, if I don't sign, we are not in agreement. They ARE going to try to convince you why they believe the child should be punished and that it was not a manifestation. You need to hold the position that it was, if in fact, there is any doubt that it was. And don't verbally agree or sign anything. (The not signing is the most imporatant.) I don't know your sd- but some will intimadate, lie, threat, everything else. Just prepare yourself. And again, if you can, take someone else with you. And, proof is good- any recent medication changes is useful info too.