Anybody Else get Tired of Being the Mom?

[DaisyFace]

I'm tired of it!

I mean, I love my family, but for Pete's sake...can't ANYBODY pick up after themselves? Can't ANYBODY plan ahead? Get organized? Tidy up?

I swear, I spend my whole day picking up behind, solving last-minute problems, organizing, cleaning, planning....and it NEVER ENDS!

I tried to talk to husband about how I felt...and he helpfully offered to do a few chores for me. For example - he'd be happy to go to the grocery store once a week if I have a list prepared and coupons clipped and everything ready to go. He'd be happy to do the banking if I have everything organized so he knows what needs to be deposited and what needs to be paid and what goes where.

If I have to do everything anyway - how is this helping????

When do I get a vacation?

(And if I did - what in the world would the house look like when I got back???)

 

[AnnieO]

...You don't want to even THINK about it. Trust me. One day, and... Eek!

 

[HaoZi]

Well, it takes less time to write the list and attach the coupons than it does to actually run to the store, so you could get some time there. When Dad wrote out grocery lists, if he had a coupon for something he would put a C in a circle next to it, like the copyright symbol, so he would check the coupon to get the right brand and remember to use the coupon. Of course, Dad did all the caretaking and everything anyway.

Now I'm on the flip side, being raised like that I know more about being a Dad, but I have to be both Mom and Dad and I'm basically just winging it here. Working only part-time hoovers for the paycheck, but it also allows me a little breathing time between when I get off work and when she gets out of school more often than not. Not enough time for a good workout or bubble bath, but enough most days that I can make a fast store run without dragging her along or just have some quiet reading time for a bit.

 

[DaisyFace]

Well, it takes less time to write the list and attach the coupons than it does to actually run to the store, so you could get some time there. When Dad wrote out grocery lists, if he had a coupon for something he would put a C in a circle next to it, like the copyright symbol, so he would check the coupon to get the right brand and remember to use the coupon. Of course, Dad did all the caretaking and everything anyway.

LOL! Sadly, this is not true...

We are poor - so we live by the "Super-Couponers" method...and it is WORK to find all the deals. I'm in and out of the store in under 30 minutes - but it's hours researching the ads, comparing deals, clipping, sorting, filing the coupons - UGH! I'd gladly give up that whole chore!

But no - after I have organized everything, researched everything, found all the coupon matches and created the list(s) - only THEN husband will run to the store.

 

[crazymama30]

I am with you DF, I get tired of it. I usually look at the grocery adds on line, or if I know it will be less at costco (in the long run) and I have the extra to spend I just go there. I am not as good at making a list as I could be, so if I make husband a list, I will forget things and then have to call him. I need to go back to being more of a deal shopper. I used to make a list by store, and then I would have a column of stuff to get wherever I thought it was cheapest.

 

[gcvmom]

Oh yes! I've since lowered my standards and expectations. That's helped for the most part, but there are some days when I just snap because I can't stand it anymore and everyone gets an earfull about my opinion of their housekeeping skills. The only one who comes close to being reasonable about picking up after themself is easy child, and I make sure she hears lots of praise for that!

I've learned to take my "me" time when everyone is away at work and school. That way, when I'm "on" duty, I don't feel nearly as deprived as I might if I tried to do everything all the time. Some things have to give.

 

[HaoZi]

LOL! Sadly, this is not true...

We are poor - so we live by the "Super-Couponers" method...and it is WORK to find all the deals. I'm in and out of the store in under 30 minutes - but it's hours researching the ads, comparing deals, clipping, sorting, filing the coupons - UGH! I'd gladly give up that whole chore!

But no - after I have organized everything, researched everything, found all the coupon matches and created the list(s) - only THEN husband will run to the store.

Dad did that, too. I don't think as much about it because where I live there's not many store selections. Two drug stores, two grocery stores, and a Super Wal-Mart. Since Wal-Mart does price matching, it's more a matter of if they carry it or not. And while we're poor, too, there's only the two of us and we have a VERY limited selection of what we're willing to eat, so the major production parts of it are trying to remember everything in a short amount of time if I haven't picked up Kiddo yet (even with a list things get skipped, oy!) and then getting it up the stairs, preferably in one trip.

 

[KTMom91]

Yes. I do.

 

[Hound dog]

I've been trying to retire from parenthood for years. Seems we're not allowed. Doesn't quite seem fair when you can retire from any other job in the world. ugh lol

Daisy, if you have an ALDIs near you I highly recommend you try them. Most of their food is generic but I swear you'd never know........well ok except the peanut butter and hot dogs. But you can get kroger generic peanut butter for several dollar cheaper than Jif and I swear it IS Jif! And hot dogs are just not that expensive at walmart or you can catch a sale.

But with Aldi's I can fill a cart twice the size of a normal grocery cart for about 1/3 of what I'd pay somewhere else........Now you do have to pay attention as sometimes their produce is not cheaper than someone else has it ect......but I see you're well practiced at that already so shouldn't be a problem. Aldi's prevented my kids from starving........and made it so they ate well, very well actually and even had money for snacks as well.

I don't coupon much because it's just not worth buying the paper to do it. But I do watch for sales......and I stock up when I catch one as long as I have the space. Sales are easier for me to do cuz all our stores are located basically on 1 street so I'm not burning gas to get to them. lol

Dollar General and The Dollar Store should be your best friends. Awesome places.

I cleaned like mad today. husband is pouting because he has to put his clean clothes away. Really? He's done nothing all day except sit on the couch.........ugh

 

[DaisyFace]

Regarding the couponing...

We have six grocery store chains in our area plus a Walmart Supercenter...though I try to visit only three of them in any given week.

I spend LESS on name-brand items than what you would pay for the generic Aldi and other store brands. There usually aren't coupons for the Aldi stuff. For my family of four - groceries (including personal products like deoderant and toothpaste AND paper products like toilet paper, paper towels, napkins etc) I usually spend less than $60 per week...and NEVER more than $75...and my pantry is fully stocked.

(Forgive me for bragging...on some level, I'm really proud of myself for being able to save all this money for my family. You're right - it feels really good to be able to provide "the good stuff" for my kids without breaking the bank.)

I definitely LOVE getting all the deals...

but it is a lot of work.

 

[TerryJ2]

Tired isn't even half of it. ;(

 

[Hound dog]

Daisy if you can coupon like that then you have every reason to be proud of yourself!

I wish I could do it, but so far I've not managed the patience for it. That and well.......it would probably help if I remembered to actually use the coupons I save, which 10 times out of 10 I don't. I walk out of the house without them every darn time. I have watched the extreme couponers on tv a time or two.......totally fascinating and awesome.

Right now I'm holding on to a coupon for palmalive dish soap.........I'm determined to get it to the store and actually use it. lol But until I either get a lot of patience......or a much better memory........I'll have to use aldi's for now.

Maybe husband doesn't want to do the shopping due to the coupons? I know many cashiers make a fuss........many customers make a fuss.........Which to me was always silly. Doesn't take that long......and more power to anyone who does it!

 

[HaoZi]

I put my coupons in an envelope and keep that in the zipped outside pocket of my purse, or if I only need a few I put them in my wallet.

 

[shellyd67]

DF I can relate. My house would fall apart without me here to clean up after everyone. I am sick and tired of it too ! Everything and everyone is on my last nerve right now.

 

[cubsgirl]

I get VERY tired from being the Mom. I just wince when I hear that "MMMMOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM". And its from husband as often as it is from the kids.

However, I am in awe (and sorta jealous) that you do so well couponing. I try and do that but most times the generic version in stock at grocery store is cheaper than the brand + coupon that I clip out of the newspaper.

 

[Star*]

I'm an extreme couponer -

A good "secret" is -----to wait until something is BOGO free....Then use 4 coupons. (one for each item - even the free ones) - If it's a $1.00 off coupon - you just saved $4.00 off 4 items that were buy-one get one free - and if the store had their own coupon on that item? You can stack them. So if the store coupon was for .25 off? You get 4 store coupons - stack them with the 4 $1.00 coupons - Now you save $5.00 off of (4) items that are BOGO free.

Example:
Kleenex are normally $1.50 a box - But this week at Publix they are BOGO free -

Sunday paper had a coupon for $1.00 /1 box - So i would clip (4) coupons or swap, or buy 4 papers (it's worth it trust me)
Then Publix has their little sale coupon papers at the front of the store offering .25/1 box Kleenex (I grab 4 papers, clip 4 coupons)

I buy (4) boxes Kleenex $1.50 a box = $6.00
Minus my (4) $1.00 coupons.............<$4.00>
Minus my (4) .25 coupons.................<$1.00>
_______________________________________
Total for (4) Boxes of Kleenex...........$1.00

Now......I can and do this with toilet paper, and paper towels, and all kinds of food. And it takes a while to learn the "cycles" - and your pantry will look WEIRD..because the first time you come home with 12 boxes of pasta noodles? Your family is going to think you've flipped - but pasta doesn't go on sale where you can get it for free - or .12 a box - all the time - so you have to get it when you can and stock up /store it. Plan ahead. We bought a little freezer - for $50 and keep all our extras in there - and it's been great for our super lean times. We shop at Sams club for some meat and you have to know portion size - and we separate and freeze a lot of stuff. If you have a shopping bud? It works super. I haven't paid over $1.50 for a box of cereal in a year. I don't buy razors, toothpaste, toothbrushes like .75 at the most. - don't pay more than $1.50 for deoderant. It's name brand stuff too. Usually cheaper than store brand. And the stuff we get free? We don't eat? Food bank.

I swap coupons - clip coupons - Thank you SO SO MUCH TIA - and will swap gladly - printing ONLY if they are draft and gray. I get freebies.....love it. Not so many now - had to stop cause of school - but....I haven't paid for a magazine in years. I get BHG, Familiy circle...US...

Yup - Love it. Not a pro - but do pretty good.

 

[AnnieO]

I would love to clip coupons and actually be able to use them.

My Grandma was a SUPER couponer. She had an entire room dedicated to it. And we got all kinds of free stuff - at one point Del Monte or someone had little stuffed animals shaped like veggies and fruits - I had the whole set, plus Christmas ornaments... I have a Pillsbury Dough Boy coffee mug... And on and on and on.

The problem as I see it is this. My Mom will go through her coupons then give me what's left. Out of 5-6 weeks' worth of newspapers, I'll find maybe $1.00 off. We just don't use the other stuff! And personally? If you don't use the item to begin with, then the coupon's not such a great deal. Add to that, that the generics many times are cheaper than the brand name with coupon.

Very very occasionally we'll get brand-name stuff if the wind is blowing right and the sale is good. Or if they just don't have a generic - Kroger quit selling their generic of Triscuits. GRR, I love them. So I go without or get the Meijer generic... because $2.89 for a small box that is 2-3 snacks (1 if husband eats them)... Is outrageous! (And yesterday I discovered they are getting rid of their multi-grain snack sticks... I bought 6 boxes for $6 - normally they are $2.19. But this means now I have to find something else, when I run out...)