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Anybody want to trade places for a couple days?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mominator" data-source="post: 647879" data-attributes="member: 18745"><p>Confused, my son has aspergers, ADHD, traumatic brain injury, and a lot of other stuff. Before he came to live with me reports stated he hit kids in the classroom, hit transport drivers, threw rocks, broke stuff. One time I was giving him a lecture about something and he was standing real close to me and his hand started to come up to slap me, but it went back down again. I've always praised him for that because I tell him that means he has more control over his impulses than he and everyone else thinks. However, he also knew that after his adoption, if he were to raise his hand to me, he'd have to deal with his dad (my husband). Sometimes my husband was off on business trips. I have enough big strong neighbors that would be willing to come scare the pants off him (so to speak). I don't know if you have anyone like that. </p><p></p><p>The other thing I did was I went to the police station while my son was in school and talked to the police officer there. A lot of schools have resource officers who take an interest in troubled kids. Sometimes talking to friendly officers can be helpful for kids. </p><p></p><p>After we got him, he didn't act out much at home, but he did at school during unstructured times like AppleCori is talking about. Once he was in a study group and he was messing around = goofing off = and the little girl running the group was getting madder and madder. My son didn't understand and ended up threatening to put her out of her misery. That got him sent to the office where the assistant principal threatened to call the police. When I came and heard that I told her idle threats are not motivating to kids with aspergers and she would have to follow through with her threat. Fortunately for us, the officer who came out was built like a football player and he'd used to be in the military with my husband. After talking to us parents privately about what was going on, he became all military drill sergeant, told him to stand up, turn around and he hand cuffed him, read him his rights, and told him what happens when people are verbally or physically threatened. When the officer was done, he uncuffed my son and told him it was a paper arrest and he was being sent home with us. My son was scared to death and very compliant for a long time. </p><p></p><p>I agree with you that your son needs medications, however if he is able to control himself well enough at school not to show those behaviors, he is able to control himself at home much better than he is right now. In my opinion, he's hurting you because he knows you are scared of his outbursts. You need to take back the control, but you need help for that. Someone needs to tell him you are the Alpha in the house. You can call the police and meet them outside. Tell them you are in the process of getting him help, but it's taking a while to interpret the studies that are being done. All the officer(s) will do is talk to him. </p><p></p><p>If you are in doubt whether it will work or not, just tell your son that if he hurts you, his sister, or breaks anything else, you are going to call the police. If he dares you, then you know you are being tested. If he's shocked and compliant, you know he has better control than what he's showing. If it makes him angrier, so be it. Pick up the phone and call. </p><p></p><p>I've learned the hard way that many times children like ours don't get the proper help until the police become involved. Once you can tell the doctors, therapists, etc. that you have had to call the police about his behaviors, they will listen to you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mominator, post: 647879, member: 18745"] Confused, my son has aspergers, ADHD, traumatic brain injury, and a lot of other stuff. Before he came to live with me reports stated he hit kids in the classroom, hit transport drivers, threw rocks, broke stuff. One time I was giving him a lecture about something and he was standing real close to me and his hand started to come up to slap me, but it went back down again. I've always praised him for that because I tell him that means he has more control over his impulses than he and everyone else thinks. However, he also knew that after his adoption, if he were to raise his hand to me, he'd have to deal with his dad (my husband). Sometimes my husband was off on business trips. I have enough big strong neighbors that would be willing to come scare the pants off him (so to speak). I don't know if you have anyone like that. The other thing I did was I went to the police station while my son was in school and talked to the police officer there. A lot of schools have resource officers who take an interest in troubled kids. Sometimes talking to friendly officers can be helpful for kids. After we got him, he didn't act out much at home, but he did at school during unstructured times like AppleCori is talking about. Once he was in a study group and he was messing around = goofing off = and the little girl running the group was getting madder and madder. My son didn't understand and ended up threatening to put her out of her misery. That got him sent to the office where the assistant principal threatened to call the police. When I came and heard that I told her idle threats are not motivating to kids with aspergers and she would have to follow through with her threat. Fortunately for us, the officer who came out was built like a football player and he'd used to be in the military with my husband. After talking to us parents privately about what was going on, he became all military drill sergeant, told him to stand up, turn around and he hand cuffed him, read him his rights, and told him what happens when people are verbally or physically threatened. When the officer was done, he uncuffed my son and told him it was a paper arrest and he was being sent home with us. My son was scared to death and very compliant for a long time. I agree with you that your son needs medications, however if he is able to control himself well enough at school not to show those behaviors, he is able to control himself at home much better than he is right now. In my opinion, he's hurting you because he knows you are scared of his outbursts. You need to take back the control, but you need help for that. Someone needs to tell him you are the Alpha in the house. You can call the police and meet them outside. Tell them you are in the process of getting him help, but it's taking a while to interpret the studies that are being done. All the officer(s) will do is talk to him. If you are in doubt whether it will work or not, just tell your son that if he hurts you, his sister, or breaks anything else, you are going to call the police. If he dares you, then you know you are being tested. If he's shocked and compliant, you know he has better control than what he's showing. If it makes him angrier, so be it. Pick up the phone and call. I've learned the hard way that many times children like ours don't get the proper help until the police become involved. Once you can tell the doctors, therapists, etc. that you have had to call the police about his behaviors, they will listen to you! [/QUOTE]
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