Anyone else feeling like they want to do away with their child sometimes?

Crystal72

New Member
I have been thinking I need a new psychiatrist. I told him two months ago he assaulted his sister's breast and that it's impossible to reason with him. No action from the psychiatrist either
 

seriously

New Member
Crystal -

I'm sorry you're having so many problems.

It would be best if you start separate posts to ask for advice or bring up your own issues. That way they will get the attention they deserve. Otherwise they get buried in someone else's thread and most of the board doesn't have a chance to respond.
 

seriously

New Member
Thanks to all for your words of wisdom and support.

difficult child 2 was taken to ER by the cops tonight on a hold (5150) around midnight. I don't know yet if they will transfer him or what.
 

seriously

New Member
Thanks Janet.

Tonight's major drama is mostly my fault and I feel terrible about it. I made a bad judgment call and did something that I should have realized was going to totally set him off. I had managed to side-step or handle direct confrontations/power struggles with him all day without any blow ups. This despite his best efforts to pick fights with me.

Finally it's the end of a long difficult day. My own issues like medication side effects and cycling made everything harder, I am majorly frustrated with wife who set us all up by relaxing the rules while I was in the hospital, and I let myself get lazy and treat him like a normal teen who hasn't done what he said he'd done and so gets the natural consequences that he was already warned would happen.

Yes I should be able to dispense the promised and natural consequences for his bad choice at any time of the day but really - 11 pm is not the right time to take away most of his pillows because he refused to put pillow cases on them after being told he had to do so. Really, really bad decision on my part.

I am supposed to be the grown up. The one who is supposed to de-escalate things, not make them worse.

That doesn't excuse his behavior which included threatening me with his fists, grabbing me and threatening wife too. It certainly doesn't excuse his threatening me with the baseball bat he went and took out of our bedroom closet (didn't even know it was there, wife had hidden it) when wife got out of bed to come see what all the yelling was about.

The main reason the cops took him wasn't because of the violence. It was because he had finally retreated to his room and started beating on himself, sobbing and then just went silent. By the time the cops arrived (our daughter called 911 because she thought we couldn't get to the phone) we were concerned that he was feeling like hurting himself worse and he wouldn't talk to us at all. He refused to speak to the cops or get up from the floor until they got him in a come-along hold because he refused to say whether he had any weapons. They took him outside in cuffs. He still refused to answer them when they asked if he was going to hurt himself.

So they took him to the hospital.

I feel so bad for him, for us.
 

gcvmom

Here we go again!
Maybe now is the time to make the declarative statement to the powers that be at the hospital that he cannot come home in his current condition? Be prepared with your list of his triggers and typical responses, fears for safety, frequency of meltdowns, effect on the family, etc. Perhaps this will help get him into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or at least on the list.
 

keista

New Member
So sorry, but don't beat yourself up for "causing" the escalation. It sounds like he was headed there anyway, and 11pm is much better than 2am or 5am, or after another full day of the insanity.
 

seriously

New Member
Yeah Kiesta. I am so tired and fogged from a week+ of this daily stuff (we've called the cops I think 5 times in 8 days and the've been out 3 times I think) I can hardly keep one time straight from another.

It wasn't actually 11 pm that I took the pillows. wife and I just went through and sequenced the whole horrible night and he had been difficult all day. I had taken the pillows much earlier in the day and I remember clearly telling him I was taking them if he didn't put cases on them. he just didn't discover I had actually done it until around 11 pm. And that set him off when I refused to put them on for him or return the pillows.

I wasn't perfect and maybe we could have avoided the total melt down - but maybe not.

I don't know if we'll get support for a placement. So far the wrap around people are taking the position that we can manage him at home, that it's just a matter of coming up with the right combo of structure and behavior mods. He was better for a while but then deteriorated when I came home from the hospital.

I am exhausted as I was up much of the night fielding phone calls from the hospital etc.

They finally just called to say he was being transferred to the largest psychiatric hospital in town. So I'm going to bed for a while to see if I can sleep.


Blessings on us all.
 

Steely

Active Member
Sending more gentle hugs..........and restful sleep your way.

I hope phosph looks at his medications - it seems possibly 2 mood stabs could be used - instead of just one with the AP. At least all the psychiatrists always told me that kids like this usually do better on 2.

And DONT beat yourself up. If it wasn't the pillowcases - it would have been something at school - or with a friend. He was just at the end of his fuse.
 
M

mrsammler

Guest
Don't beat yourself up--you need to uphold your household rules and stand behind the reasonable demands that you make on your children. I'd've done what you did in the same circumstance.

I'm glad he's out of your house. Frankly, it sounds like he was gradually working his way toward an actual physical attack, and it sounds like he might've done something really violent and harmful if it came to that. My difficult child nephew would get into titanic rages of that sort and would be capable of *anything* while in full roar. My sister and I had to hide the butcher block and sharp knives for a long time when he was prone to those rages. Grievous injury or even murder is not out of the question. Do what's necessary to protect yourself, your wife, and your other children.
 

MuM_of_OCD_kiddo

New Member
Don't beat yourself up and take this break to rest a bit, recuperate as much as you can, and enjoy the quiet days. This is a good time to think about longterm plans and goals in regards to your difficult child. YOu also should begin keeping a difficult child log or diary - when in full stress it is hard to keep up and remember the actual dates and times of when exactly what happened. Make it something easily accessible to you and wife both - so when anything happens you can just jot down a short note or line for documentation - it may come in handy sometime down the line, especially when you need to get the authorities involved.

Make as much of the difficult child free time as you can - spend time with your other kids, the wife and repair/reaffirm your marriage too if it needs a bit of patching up. Hugs.
 
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