Anyone else terrified

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mrscatinthehat, Oct 30, 2008.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Well since this has come up so many times recently is anyone else just so terrified of having another child they well um avoid what would make it happen.

    I had been told years ago when I was married to ex #2 that I had blockage and was not able to have more. It was a blow and I accepted it after a while and moved on. Well when my current husband and I got together we debated if we wanted to try and find a way to have kids together. When I went back to the place that said I had the blockage they said no it was just a cloudy test (whatever they called it) but that they had sent a letter saying in all actuallity I was fine and could have more kids. First I wanted to fall down because I realized I had played roulette a few times.

    Then with everything with our difficult child's we figured maybe it better to not have another. However he refuses to get a vasectomy. We can't afford for me to get the surgery I would need (I don't have insurance).

    So since our kids are 15, 17 (on Saturday), and 18 starting over would be an OMG moment for sure. I am only 37 husband is 45 so the possibility is there.

    Just wondered if I was the only one out here.

  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Nope. Considering husband's vasectomy was 9 years ago and we haven't had any surprises yet, I think we're safe :D
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Nope, nada, no-way... considering my genetics and both of our kids having issues. Their was and is no chance we will have another.
    It seems like husband's Vasectomy is working!
    I love my girls but 2 is enough, one for each of us!
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    NONONONONO!!! I count husband as a difficult child most of the time, and I could not take another one. I am thinking of getting my tubes tied soon, husband just has too many issues to have a procedure. Plus, then I end up having to take time off for him, and I have to use my vacation pay. If I have a procedure I can go straight to sick pay, and I have over 2 months of that. Should be plenty.
  5. Mayapple5

    Mayapple5 New Member

    I had a boy and girl by diagnosis at age 20 and 22. Yup that was enough one of each can't get any better than that! Then our marriage went on the rocks. I remarried he never had any kids but that was OK with him. We ended up adopting and raising as our own my oldest daughters two girlsI was in my 30's when we adopted them. And as if that wasn't enough. We got difficult child 2 I'm 56 this year. You are never too old to have kids by adoption. Believe me it wasn't my plan for my life! I'd like to be in retirement too. But God had other plans and I'm all to willing to give this little girl a chance at a good life!

    By the time difficult child 2 was 23 months old we were her 6th placement in a foster home, now I told myself she stops here, she's had enough! That is no life for a child!
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Having gotten pregnant while using birth control with all 3 of my children, there definitely have been times I (or he) avoided that activity because the risk of having another one. While we did always want 4, each child has his/her own medical/mental health issues and we just didn't think we could handle another one at various times.

    I had my tubes tied 6 wks after thank you was born because I had heart problems that were related to the pregnancy. Then I had to have a hysterectomy (NOT related to the tubal) and so we now have NO worries.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Having gone through a very early menopause (age 20) I don't have to worry and we have no plans to adopt anymore. Love the two I have but that's enough!
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I worry, yes. I've been trying to talk him into doing the V-thing. He's finally okay with it, but our ins deductible is so high, that we'd have to pay for it ourselves and that's just not possible right now.
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Seriously? If I had a child next year? His name would have to be Jesus, I'd change mine to Mary and I'd be filthy rich.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo. Volunteer or something at a preemie wing in a hospital - change a few smelly diapers and see how long you can listen to a baby wail.....

    Good on ya if you can but not me. I barely made it through housebreaking with a puppy.
  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I helped out in K's class the other day. This helped confirm why I don't like most people... of course the parents of the *easy child* kids had to make comments about the Crazy kid T.... broke my heart and made me very upset, I wont put the words here that it really made me feel!
    I said a few things, nicely to let them know that we as parents have to be bigger people because we don't always *see* the whole picture not even with *our own kids*... hint hint!!!

    Anyway, I was the only one who ALL of the kids came up to and played with and asked for help. I was running to each desk and joking and playing with kids. I made sure T was OK after his manic episode... poor thing. I know all of them because I spend every morning with them before school.
    The other 4 parents just worked on their projects...
    So I was telling husband this story, At the end I said,

    "The funny thing is I don't even like KIDS!"

    Which was how I felt before I even had kids!!! LOL I never wanted kids!!! But now they seem to gravitate to me??? One of the parents was the room parent!
    People are weird...
    I think I am just strange in a kid like way!
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    No. No. No. No. No. I do not want another child. Although I do wonder what it would be like to raise a easy child, have a husband that's involved in the raising of the child, and actually do things as a family without screaming and tantrums. I don't know about such things. Miss KT is my only child, and her father is useless.

    I also think how different my life would be if Hubby and I had gotten together in high school (we knew each other then, but he was too shy to ask me out).

    So far, Hubby's vasectomy is holding up. But if? I'd be running down the street screaming, and you could all read about the woman who flipped out over a positive pregnancy test.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I would volunteer at a hospital or day care.
    Another child, especially if you are a genetic risk, would be a huge burden.
    I am totally burned out on my difficult child and especially after seeing the adorable kids at the door, feel an even bigger sense of loss at the moment.
    I guess I'm the wrong person to ask.
    I am still mad at my husband for not getting a vasectomy and making me undergo surgery. Men can be so selfish.

    Sorry, I'll perk up in a while. It's just one of those days ...
  13. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    My mom had children for 20yrs up to 45yrs old(last one was a miscarriage).

    I swore I would decide consciously when and how many. Off birth control when we were ready. Tubes tied when the second was born.
    You have choices if you want or don't want children. Many different choices.
    My boys are loved and wanted but I didn't find the idea of surprises very appealing when my mom had them and I sure didn't want the same sort of surprise.