Anyone ever notice we are falling apart???

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Star...

Oddly enough the only one of my kids that would be lost if we were to die would be my oldest. Cory would land on his feet without blinking an eye. Jamie is obviously on his own now.

Billy still needs a bit of help. He is doing much better but he still needs us for some essentials. He doesnt drive, he stays here, and Im not entirely certain what would happen to him if we werent here. Maybe he could manage if he drove. I dont know. He might be able to manage if someone told him exactly what bills there were and when to pay them. Not sure. I have tried to teach him how to do everything around the house. He is getting better.
 

goldenguru

Active Member
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Physical, does this mean dark chocolate M&M's, sleeping when the ambien works, walking back and forth to the car to play taxi, and running to the doctors?

Emotional...taking breaks from the drama (turning the tv from law and order to dancing with the stars?), meaningful relationships (getting a good pet?), havent a clue on doing things we enjoy, and I take a boatload of medications.

Intellectual...I lost my mind years ago and if anyone finds it please tell it to come home.

Spiritual....well I keep praying I wont lose the rest of my mind and Cory keeps using a few choice cuss words at me so Im sure that is taken care of.
</div></div>

:rofl:

Janet ... you are too dang funny. I had me a good laugh.

Laughter ... is very good medicine.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> try thinking about the last time something "Disastrous" came up in a life of someone you know and you sat back and went "BIG FAT HAIRY DEAL".
</div></div>

So very very true Star.

I did a rather lengthy presentation on Travis from birth until present day last year. By the end of the presentation the others in class were amazed and astouded by that part of my life and I'd even considered going back to school.

It really stunned me as it wasn't a reaction I expected. I don't give much thought to Travis' life as a Whole. I delt with it a day at a time, battle at a time, treatment at a time. It was really difficult to explain that it is just life and you learn to deal with it.
 

slsh

member since 1999
Janet,

Picking up pieces right next to you. :wink: (Though I think I've missed a few.)

While I like GG's advice on being proactive and taking care of ourselves, it seems to me (and this may be a cop out on my part) that it gets harder and harder to do with the continuous pressures a difficult child puts on us. It's like Chinese water torture - there's never a break, never a let up. Seems like, around here anyway, the constant cr*p has a cumulative effect. thank you hasn't even hit rock bottom yet and I'm counting down the days to when I can just wash my hands and be *done* - move, leave no forwarding address, and get an unlisted phone. Which of course provokes guilt for feeling that way on my part and a lot of frustration on husband's part because for some reason he's decided at this late date we need to hang on to the bitter end and beyond.

And I just have to laugh at rehab folks and my spine doctor who are so into how one's mindset has so much to do with- recovery. I'm sunk.

It's a narrow and pessimistic perspective right now, but I just don't see it ever ending. We're always going to get the doggone calls, we're always going to be informed of the latest boneheaded move our kid made, and there's always going to be someone expecting us to clean up the mess. How is it possible to maintain a positive or healthy outlook when it's a variation of the same darn thing over and over again, stupidity and faulty reasoning and "it's not my fault" and excuses and general garbage again and again and again.

Even mountains crumble under constant pressure.
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Whoah, whoa, whoa--what's wrong with-dark chocolate M&Ms for stress? They are way better than ambien.
Well, at least in the day time. :smirk: :smile:
So sorry, Janet. And everyone.
Yes, there is a definite connection.
I am taking more vitamins now than I ever have in my life. I know I need them.
Went canoeing yesterday.
Gotta go for a walk now.
Thank you all for reminding me.


:smile:
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
LOL...

I prescribe dark chocolate M&M's along with the ambien...lol. Did you know that Sam's Club sells them in a Very VERY large bag now?

I think they call that the warrior mom special!

I keep that bag next to my bed at all times.

Cute story: I woke up Sunday morning and found Keyana wandering around the house with this huge mess all over her face. She had little colored pieces stuck to her lips and nose, and chocolate smeared all over her chin and neck.

I immediately knew what had happened. My M&M's!

Grandpa started panicking...lol. What had she gotten into? I started laughing as he was trying to grab her and get the stuff away from her and she was having none of it. A girl after my own heart. She loves her M&M's.

Odd though she didnt spill them. She just took them one at a time. She is a very neat child for a toddler.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I immediately knew what had happened. My M&M's!</div></div>

OMG! I got a visual on that one Janet. :rofl: :rofl:
 

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TerryJ2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I am taking more vitamins now than I ever have in my life. I know I need them. Gotta go for a walk now. Thank you all for reminding me. :smile: </div></div>

Me too. I am taking, in addition to my multi and medications for asthma, depression, and the chantix now, an abundance of supplements...Vitamin E, Fish Oils, Flaxseed, Evening Primrose, Emergen-C, Magnesium/Calcium, Acidophilis, & Lysine. I don't take them everyday, it is too much. I'm also supposed to take Glucosamine for my joints. Thank goodness Fish Oil can help with that.

I just came back from the knee Dr and got x-rays, and ordered an MRI. I had knee surgery years ago for a torn meniscus and he said that looks fine. My regular Dr thinks I have a cyst behind my knee and I think it's vascular. Oy!

Most of my difficult child related illness has been anxiety, depression, headaches, weight gain, & exhaustion. I don't think the knee is related. My family has bad knees.
 
I buy regular M&Ms for Tink. You know. The plain old boring MILK chocolate M&Ms.

I buy dark chocolate M&Ms for me.

She does not get any because there is no way she could appreciate them the way I do at the age of 6.

I get ALL the dark chocolate M&Ms.

They are good for curing stress, lethargy, acne, constipation, the runs, the gout, balding, chicken pox, the flu, pneumonia, menengitis, west nile virus, broken arms, broken legs, sprained ankles, broken hearts, dog bites, snake bites, rhinocerous gouges, giraffe bites, warts, meddling mother in laws, nosy neighbors, cars that won't start, clothes that don't fit, riptides, tsunamis, monsoons, mon-laters, mon-nevers, mon-maybe somedays...
 

mrscatinthehat

Seussical
You know this is the thing that gets me. The kids come first. I don't care how many times I am told that if I am not okay that I can't take care of anyone else. I don't have insurance. So unless body parts are falling off or I have blood coarsing out of me in an unnatural way. Nope not going to the doctor. I have to save those darn pennies for one of the kids emergencies. Do I go to the dentist? Nope. When was the last time I got new glasses? Couldn't tell ya. The last two times my back went out did I go get anything done for it? Nope..Ibuprofen and the heating pad and A LOT of whining got me through.

I have three teenagers in three spots that all expect so much and have their share of bills for us. Not to mention clothes and other things. Sure we are redoing the house but the money we spend on parts doesn't come when I am sick. Our walk in clinic went so far as to start charging a minimum of $75 up front to be seen.

So I am probably falling apart and not doing anything about it. What I don't know can't hurt me right??

I will go for the M & M therapy. Sounds good to me.

Beth
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
I would need an m&m the size of....my butt to get me through this life again. Vitamins make me nauseated, and I never came first before my son until he caused me to have a stroke/heart attack. After that the entire world took "all his backfire" out of my hands.

I'm just NOW learning I have to (non-selfishly) come first. And even now? It's hard to put back/down the things little essentials I pick up for difficult child because if I send them, or cash or clothes, I'm enabling him. Tell me that doesn't inhale.

Janet - baby with m&m's on her face - I would have told hubby "OH MY GOSH she's got a case of the MOUNTAIN MULTICOLORED SPOTTED DISEASE!! QUICK - GET A WASHCLOTH AND SOME SOAP!!!
 
F

flutterbee

Guest
Yeah, put yourself first. Except that our difficult child's are way louder than we are. Squeaky wheel and all that.

I went to the doctor for years and they just patted my hand and sent me on my way. Then it happened and everyone's like, 'Oh, sh... Where did this come from.' Now, when I go in somewhere everyone says, "Oh, you're way too young to be here." Like I'm making it up. I had nothing better to do today so I thought I'd come in for a drug-induced stress test that makes me feel like my heart is going to explode...and I'm free after that so let's see what a heart cath is like. Then, just for kicks, I'll bleed out.

Didn't someone else mention a bad attitude? (They just put it nicer, like negative and pessismistic I think.)
 

Steely

Active Member
:rolleyes: SIGHHHHHHHHH...................

I am SO glad I have you guys. Every single one of you, said exactly what I have been thinking. Take care of me first?????
:rofl:
When is that supposed to be? In between dodging my own panic attacks and squelching incessant, unrelenting, oppositionality coursing from my son's being, I am on the couch hiding my head under the pillow, sipping a glass of wine.

Seriously, I do take vitamins, exercise, blah, blah..........but living in a cesspool of negativity takes its toll no matter how much you might want it not to.

wynter - I had high blood pressure at age 28..........and from then on, every nurse and dr says the same thing. It maddens me!!!!
"You are too young for this!!!"
"Oh, I am sorry, I did not know there was an age limit. I will go home now" :shocked: HUH?

Janet 2 years ago I had a serious eye infection. I went to 4 different doctors, and everyone just patted me on the head and gave me diagnosis's and xr's. Finally the fourth dr, a renowned opthamologist diagnosis me with Acanthamoeba - a potentially deadly eye infection. (Yes, Amoebas were living in my eye ball, and eating, literally my optic nerve!) It was horrible!!!! It took me 2 years to get rid of it through intensive therapy, and I still have pain. So, please, be aggressive with getting a good diagnosis from your eye dr, and make sure and get a second opinion.

Yes, so let's see how has difficult child affected my health?
High blood pressure, tachycardia, panic attacks, insomnia, weight gain, depression, fibromyalgia type symptoms (I refuse to go to the doctor on this one) amoebas in my eye........OK, maybe we can't blame him for that......but still. :wink: The list is endless.

Again.............SIGH!
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Okay, okay....but WHAT IF....

WHAT IF ALL MOTHERS of difficult child'S STARTED PUTTING THEMSELVES 1st?

WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?

WHAT COULD BE THE WORST SCENARIO?

Seriously - this is important -

Why does it take until we are disease ridden and near death before we do ANYTHING or again and again NOTHING about US, our health.

Who WOULD be there for your difficult child if you were NOT?

Go-
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Well it appears that there are several difficult child type hoodlems in my front yard along with a difficult child type young lady who has her eye on my son...so I am assuming that is who would be there for Cory...lmao.

They would take over my house like white on rice.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
easy child would take over. As far as Travis is concerned, it has already been decided. But I have no doubt she'd be there for her lil sis just as much. Doesn't surprise me. Melissa has always had a nurturing personality, hense I think the career paths she's chosen.

Actually, easy child helps me tons already with both difficult children.
 

Steely

Active Member
Truthfully, Star, absolutely no one would be here for Mat. Just one more thing that keeps me up at night, and thus adds to the stress.

I really think I do try and put myself first, as we all probably do........
in my opinion, though, it is just not as easy as a simple choice to put oneself first.

As you mentioned, it is all the daily variables that rise up and pop you in the face when you are least expecting it. To put oneself first in a life of a difficult child, is like telling an Iraq soldier to put themselves first when they have a day off. He may try, but he is having a "day off" in a war zone........as are we.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Janet,

I have had the problems much longer than the kids. Actually, the problems were supposed to mean I COULDN'T get pregnant. it bums me out thinking of dealing with the fibro and other things for another who knows how many years. I started at 14, so I am at almost 25 years of major painful health problems.

I don't know how husband and the kids put up with me.

Having a difficult child did NOT make anything easier.

Hugs to all, and prayers for pain free days!

Susie
 

Marcie Mac

Just Plain Ole Tired
I realized recently I started to fall apart a while ago and didnt really notice when it started happening. Well, I made myself not notice because I really didn't have the time to spare to fall apart. The last 10 years have been really brutal alternating between Dan and SO, and some years there was not alternating - just both of them at the same time. I was like the energizer bunny on speed

When I ignored the depression, the panic and anxiety attacks, heart pounding, chest pains, blood pressure that was really close to the 200 mark, sleeping only about 4 hours a night (by the way, it is 3:30 here and I am up for the day already), my body just, I am sure, heaved a big sigh, and said, ok, you don't wanna listen, here is a nice case of IBS - You start getting stressed out and I am shutting your system down. That got my attention - having your insides sieze up..

Thankfully the difficult child issues have lightened up as he is aging out of it all, but its cranking up again with my SO, and my system is starting to give the familiar warnings of shutting down. I am off to the doctor again for another round of happy pills to get me thru the latest pending crisis.

Whats that old saying about the hens comming home to roost? I sorta wish they had started flying my way a lot earlier, because now I find I have age related stuff starting to rear its head.

Marcie
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I know.

I try desperately to make jokes about things and keep it light but its really hard to keep this happy face on sometimes.

Today is a hard day for me.

I was back at the ortho again. Its every thursday for me right now and he wants to add PT in 3 times a week for at least 4 weeks...sigh.

I dont know if I can keep that up.

The gel shots really hurt me today, not to mention the ones in my back. I called husband when I got to the car and just cried. I had a hard time not crying in the office because they just hurt so badly. It felt like my knee caps were being pried off.

Good thing I have therapy today. Bad thing is because Im on the go all day I cant even stay at home and take pain pills on these thursdays. Sigh.
 
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