Apartment search continues and I'm getting nervous.
- Thread starter Californiablonde
- Start date
rejectedmom
New Member
Keeping my fingers crossed that all works out well. Keep us posted!!! -RM
Californiablonde
Well-Known Member
Well I went and talked to the apartment manager and he says the owner has been out of town. So he is going to call him today and ask him if he had a chance to run my credit. So I'm still waiting and getting more nervous by the minute! Hopefully I hear back today. If not today then I will call again tomorrow. Turns out I had the wrong number to begin with so the manager gave me the correct number today. I am praying this works out. Keeping my fingers crossed and praying!
L
Liahona
Guest
That is frustrating but better than just a no. I hope you get it.
My Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids don't do transitions well. I wouldn't expect easy child to like it at all until the transition was over and his life was settling down again.
My Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids don't do transitions well. I wouldn't expect easy child to like it at all until the transition was over and his life was settling down again.
I'm sorry I have not commented before this.
I hope you get the apartment. If you don't, or if the apt mgr seems 'on the fence', take him a disposable plate of homemade cookies or brownies. He may still say no, or the owner could, but if the apt mgr has any influence on the owner and they are undecided, sometimes a plate of homemade yummies makes quite a nice impression. Or some homemade chex mix or whatever.
Apartment hunting is the PITS, but PLEASE don't overstress yourself. If you absolutely need to stay another week or two, the mgr will likely have to formally evict you if you don't move. It isn't a good thing, and likely would show up on a credit check or check to see if you have any legal problems, but it could be some breathing room. Be sure to check your state laws because the notice of not renewing your lease will likely impact the amt of time the eviction will take.
You are doing really well. It has been an amazingly stressful month and you had to handle something that most people NEVER EVER EVER come close to handling. You did a fantastic job of handling it, and are still going. Most people would be curled up in the fetal position bawling their eyes out and begging for their mommy!
The doctor is probably very correct in that the paxil is the most probable cause for your symptoms. The most common medication related cause anyway. You may be surprised at how you feel once it has cleared your system. I hope focalin is helpful, but please be aware that it can also cause problems for those with bipolar. It is always a tightrope, trying to figure out what will help and what will make you worse and then figuring out how much will provide the most help with the fewest problems.
The decision to send easy child to go live with his father has to be one of the hardest choices of your life. Especially given his father's complete lack of support for his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and other issues. PLEASE do not turn over the IEP stuff to him. It is complicated and he is a newbie and given that he seems to disagree with the diagnosis's, there is a good chance your son could end up really struggling in ways that don't need to happen. easy child has enough challenges as it is.
Not sure if this will help you, and/or help you communicate about the process with your ex, but I came across a fairly clear, understandable explanation of the IEP process, technicalities, and the rights and responsibilities of both the parents and the school during the IEP process. It might help your ex understand things and be a real help in the process. It is in Q&A form andI found it easy to navigate without having to read the entire thing.
http://www.disabilityrightsca.org/pubs/504001Ch04.pdf
A google search for "what happens to an IEP when you move within CA" gave some good info. Some of the clearest answers came from websites of law offices.
This is a brief summary of what happens:
"If you move to a different SELPA, the new school district must, without delay, provide a free appropriate public education (FAPE), including services comparable to those described in the IEP approved by the previous school district for up to 30 days. Within those 30 days, the new school district must either adopt the previous school district's IEP or develop and adopt a new IEP that provides a FAPE."
It comes from this website "http://www.tagrelaw.com/news/special-education-ieps-transfer/" and the site has a lot of information including the exact wording of the state and fed regulations regarding moving.
A SELPA is a Special Education Local Plan Area. I think these are only in CA, so I am not much help on that front.
Several sites urge you to get copies of your son's records, including his IEP, and to meet with the school before the move happens. The earlier the better as this gives the school time to read and understand the IEP and to arrange for the services and accommodations that he needs.
I hope some of this helps. You truly have had an incredible amount of stress over the last month or so (and plenty before then too!) and you are handling it all very well. I strongly doubt I would be able to handle it all as well as you are.
I hope you get the apartment. If you don't, or if the apt mgr seems 'on the fence', take him a disposable plate of homemade cookies or brownies. He may still say no, or the owner could, but if the apt mgr has any influence on the owner and they are undecided, sometimes a plate of homemade yummies makes quite a nice impression. Or some homemade chex mix or whatever.
Apartment hunting is the PITS, but PLEASE don't overstress yourself. If you absolutely need to stay another week or two, the mgr will likely have to formally evict you if you don't move. It isn't a good thing, and likely would show up on a credit check or check to see if you have any legal problems, but it could be some breathing room. Be sure to check your state laws because the notice of not renewing your lease will likely impact the amt of time the eviction will take.
You are doing really well. It has been an amazingly stressful month and you had to handle something that most people NEVER EVER EVER come close to handling. You did a fantastic job of handling it, and are still going. Most people would be curled up in the fetal position bawling their eyes out and begging for their mommy!
The doctor is probably very correct in that the paxil is the most probable cause for your symptoms. The most common medication related cause anyway. You may be surprised at how you feel once it has cleared your system. I hope focalin is helpful, but please be aware that it can also cause problems for those with bipolar. It is always a tightrope, trying to figure out what will help and what will make you worse and then figuring out how much will provide the most help with the fewest problems.
The decision to send easy child to go live with his father has to be one of the hardest choices of your life. Especially given his father's complete lack of support for his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and other issues. PLEASE do not turn over the IEP stuff to him. It is complicated and he is a newbie and given that he seems to disagree with the diagnosis's, there is a good chance your son could end up really struggling in ways that don't need to happen. easy child has enough challenges as it is.
Not sure if this will help you, and/or help you communicate about the process with your ex, but I came across a fairly clear, understandable explanation of the IEP process, technicalities, and the rights and responsibilities of both the parents and the school during the IEP process. It might help your ex understand things and be a real help in the process. It is in Q&A form andI found it easy to navigate without having to read the entire thing.
http://www.disabilityrightsca.org/pubs/504001Ch04.pdf
A google search for "what happens to an IEP when you move within CA" gave some good info. Some of the clearest answers came from websites of law offices.
This is a brief summary of what happens:
"If you move to a different SELPA, the new school district must, without delay, provide a free appropriate public education (FAPE), including services comparable to those described in the IEP approved by the previous school district for up to 30 days. Within those 30 days, the new school district must either adopt the previous school district's IEP or develop and adopt a new IEP that provides a FAPE."
It comes from this website "http://www.tagrelaw.com/news/special-education-ieps-transfer/" and the site has a lot of information including the exact wording of the state and fed regulations regarding moving.
A SELPA is a Special Education Local Plan Area. I think these are only in CA, so I am not much help on that front.
Several sites urge you to get copies of your son's records, including his IEP, and to meet with the school before the move happens. The earlier the better as this gives the school time to read and understand the IEP and to arrange for the services and accommodations that he needs.
I hope some of this helps. You truly have had an incredible amount of stress over the last month or so (and plenty before then too!) and you are handling it all very well. I strongly doubt I would be able to handle it all as well as you are.
Californiablonde
Well-Known Member
Susiestar thank you for all the info, and thank you to the rest of you ladies who have been supporting me through all of this. Unfortunately I did not qualify for that apartment. My credit wasn't good enough. I have never been turned down for an apartment due to bad credit. Some of the places I've lived at before have asked for a higher deposit but never have they turned me down outright. I should have seen it coming with this one. The first thing the apartment manager asked me when I saw the place was how good was my credit. I didn't even want to apply for it after he asked me that question. My mom is the one who encouraged me to apply anyway and wait to see what happened. Now I'm out the $37 application fee. Most places charge around $40 for an application fee these days, so I am going to have to be more selective when I apply from now on. I can't afford to pay that much several times in a row just to get rejected several times in a row.
I am hoping and praying the next place is more forgiving. And as far as the studio goes that I was going to apply to, I am going to wait several days and see if I can find another one bedroom instead. My mom is going around today to the area I wish to move and she is going to see if she can find anything else. I would really prefer to have a seperate bedroom. If I don't find anything and I absolutely have to apply to the studio I will, but it will be my last option. The more I thought about it yesterday, the more I decided I would need an extra room so difficult child and I could both watch TV at the same time. She has her own set of shows she watches after school and I do not want to give up my routine of watching my Family Feud and Dr. Phil after work. I know it sounds petty, but I really do look forward to watching my shows at the end of the day. If I had a studio it would be hard for us both to watch two different TV's in the same room. But if we have to then that's what I will do. But in the meantime I am going take one more look and see if I can find a one bedroom.
And as far as easy child he has not mentioned moving in with his dad once since Monday. He didn't bring it up at all yesterday, which I hope means that he has accepted it. I may be wrong and he may start in again about it, but for now he hasn't said a word. And my rapid cycling, which was a living hell for weeks, has finally started to go away. Reducing the Paxil was a godsend. I feel much calmer now that my dose has been cut in half. So that is very good news. Emotionally I am feeling much better. I am still anxious about the apartment situation, but my rapid cycling is gone and that's what was bothering me the most. So now onward to the apartment search. I am praying real hard now that I find something fast. I have 16 days to move and counting. Wish me luck cause right now I sure do need it!
I am hoping and praying the next place is more forgiving. And as far as the studio goes that I was going to apply to, I am going to wait several days and see if I can find another one bedroom instead. My mom is going around today to the area I wish to move and she is going to see if she can find anything else. I would really prefer to have a seperate bedroom. If I don't find anything and I absolutely have to apply to the studio I will, but it will be my last option. The more I thought about it yesterday, the more I decided I would need an extra room so difficult child and I could both watch TV at the same time. She has her own set of shows she watches after school and I do not want to give up my routine of watching my Family Feud and Dr. Phil after work. I know it sounds petty, but I really do look forward to watching my shows at the end of the day. If I had a studio it would be hard for us both to watch two different TV's in the same room. But if we have to then that's what I will do. But in the meantime I am going take one more look and see if I can find a one bedroom.
And as far as easy child he has not mentioned moving in with his dad once since Monday. He didn't bring it up at all yesterday, which I hope means that he has accepted it. I may be wrong and he may start in again about it, but for now he hasn't said a word. And my rapid cycling, which was a living hell for weeks, has finally started to go away. Reducing the Paxil was a godsend. I feel much calmer now that my dose has been cut in half. So that is very good news. Emotionally I am feeling much better. I am still anxious about the apartment situation, but my rapid cycling is gone and that's what was bothering me the most. So now onward to the apartment search. I am praying real hard now that I find something fast. I have 16 days to move and counting. Wish me luck cause right now I sure do need it!
Californiablonde
Well-Known Member
Well I got my free credit report today and it does not look good. I have ten negative things against me. Mostly medical, a library balance, and a couple of loan companies. I am disputing one of the hospital bills. The last time I checked myself into a mental hospital they apparently charged me around $1000 when my insurance should have covered the whole thing. At least the visit at the very same hospital a year prior to that was completely free of charge. I don't know why my second stay would warrant a balance so I am disputing it. But I can't dispute anything else. There's some medical bills on there that I simply couldn't afford to pay at the time, so there they are. And the loan companies. Paid them back but not in full so they are on my credit too. Good news is I have 12 accounts showing in good standing. Mostly auto loans through my credit union that I have paid in full and they are closed. So at least I have some good. But I don't know how my credit is going to look with the other ten things I have that are negative. So now I am really praying I find a place that will accept me regardless.
Californiablonde
Well-Known Member
The studio I was thinking about applying for just called me at work and wanted to know if I was still interested. I explained about my credit and she said they do offer cosigning. So that is a plus. Now if I can just convince mom to go along with it. I am never late on rent so that's a plus. So I am hoping to convince her to cosign. It's rare that apartments allow a cosigner in my area so I am rethinking my option to move into the studio. And i just looked at the property again online and it is beautiful. Two pools, spa, fitness center, internet cafe, and tennis courts. So now I am thinking again of applying to it. Just gotta convince my mom to possibly cosign. And I do have another apartment that is a one bedroom to look at Saturday. So the search continues.
This won't help in the short run, but... you really need to talk to a financial counsellor.
What you need is to do a loans consolidation - one company takes on all of those loans, and then you make ONE small payment per month. The new consolidated shows on your credit, the others are closed off... at least, that's how it works here.
What you need is to do a loans consolidation - one company takes on all of those loans, and then you make ONE small payment per month. The new consolidated shows on your credit, the others are closed off... at least, that's how it works here.
buddy
New Member
It's true each company is different. I was told no for the very house I am living in. But on of the managers had met me in person. I explained the situation and they were not as hung up on my credit...they focused on utilities and rent on time....but that I didn't make enough that rent was only a certain percentage of my monthly income. I think it was about five percent off. I kept saying if I could pay for a fifteen hundred dollar apartment with no lates for six years I can handle an eleven hundred dollar one (and for this one water and trash is included, that one was not)
So I was turned down. I gave up...got a call later and she said she called the owner of the unit (I was looking at private homes/town homes rented out by individuals who use management agencies) and she said it was OK if I paid an increased deposit as you said.
Look under houses for rent too...just make sure it when you look that it is an investment property not someone who is just renting it out until they can sell it.
It will work out.....but boy is it a hard road.
I saw on FB recently this great picture of when one door closes another opens. A friend pasted it to her wall....then I found one that had eyeballs popping out of the dark with a bubble that said, I know when one door closes, another opens, but man these halls are a bi**h. So true.
So I was turned down. I gave up...got a call later and she said she called the owner of the unit (I was looking at private homes/town homes rented out by individuals who use management agencies) and she said it was OK if I paid an increased deposit as you said.
Look under houses for rent too...just make sure it when you look that it is an investment property not someone who is just renting it out until they can sell it.
It will work out.....but boy is it a hard road.
I saw on FB recently this great picture of when one door closes another opens. A friend pasted it to her wall....then I found one that had eyeballs popping out of the dark with a bubble that said, I know when one door closes, another opens, but man these halls are a bi**h. So true.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I will never figure out credit ratings myself. I own my own home outright, bought a brand new car on credit and paid it off in 4 years with never a late payment, have no credit cards, may have a late payment or two on utilities but I have never seen them on my credit report, at this point in time all the bad things are long gone off my report but my rating is in the toilet. I cant even get a one of those Buy Later credit lines through PayPal for a 10 dollar product! I think my score is somewhere in the 300's! I get these letters saying I dont have enough revolving credit. Hello...I dont want to spend more than I can afford. Isnt that a good thing? Me and a credit card would be a bad thing. I would like to use that online thing though. I would hate to have to rent anything now. I have no idea how I am going to buy my next car except I guess I will get it through one of those places where they say credit doesnt matter and I hope my current car is worth enough for a decent down payment. Ha Im dreaming...lol
Do you know why your current landlord is not renewing your lease? I didn't realize you shared a one bedroom apartment with your children. It may very well be that they couldn't renew the lease. Why? Because you had a boy and a girl living with you and you only had one bedroom. Many, if not most, areas have housing regulations that state that children of different genders may not share a bedroom. If this is the main reason that your lease is not being renewed, having easy child go live with his father may mean that you can stay in your apartment.
It is just a thought, but it would be worth asking. Worst they can do is say no, right?
It is just a thought, but it would be worth asking. Worst they can do is say no, right?
Californiablonde
Well-Known Member
Susiestar I got told to leave cause of my water bill. I was late several times. Here in California if you are late on water legally they cannot shut it off. Instead they contact the apartment complex which then in turn attaches it to the rent and gives you an eviction notice if the bill isn't paid. I have had that happen to me several times. This is the first complex I have ever rented from that does not pay for water. I was not used to having to pay that bill. So I was late too many times and received too many notices. The apartment owners decided they did not want to deal with me anymore. The only reason why I know this is because my mom went down to the apartment manager and demanded a reason. For some reason the apartment manager felt comfortable enough with my mom to tell her, but she refused to tell me. That really upsets me, but there's nothing that I can do about it now. At least I finally know the reason. So anyway my mom found another place yesterday that has one apartment available. Very nice complex with two pools, a fitness center, and spa. They are low income and with my paycheck I qualify to live there. So I am going to go look at the place on Saturday and apply. If for some reason it doesn't work out or someone else gets there first (This complex is in high demand) then I will go ahead and apply for the studio. I asked my mom if she would cosign for me yesterday and she said no. So I am doing this on my own and I only pray that I get one or the other.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I was going to suggest low income or Section 8 but figured that would take way too long. Im so sorry about the water bill fiasco. I hate water bills. Even though mine isnt much, it comes due at the end of the month and I cant pay it online in anyway. They are so behind the times in technology. I cant even use bill pay through my bank because they dont accept it. I have to physically go down and give them money and I always leave it till the last minute and its a rush hoping I dont forget. Sigh.
Californiablonde
Well-Known Member
I can pay the water bill online but they charge something like $3 to do it. It's just a bill I'm not used to paying. I have never had to pay it before and most of the places I'm looking at now pay it. The only bill I would need to pay is electric plus of course cable. If my apartment complex would have given me a warning that my lease might not have been renewed then I would have made sure to pay it on time. I know I should have paid it on time anyway, but I honestly didn't think they would do this. Oh well, live and learn. I am hoping to find something by this weekend. Crossing fingers and saying prayers.
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I am sorry about that. I hope you get the nice low income apartment. The studio could end up being a problem for both you and difficult child as you couldn't get away from each other. If you do end up with the studio, invest in 2 pr wireless headphones so that you can each listen to your tv shows with-o bugging each other. You can use screens as room divider, or hang a curtain from hooks in the ceiling.
If there is any way to get to the low income place before Sat, I would do it. Even if it means you miss a tv show or have a super busy evening or need to take an hour off of work. It would be a big help to have the place and low income places are usually used to not so great credit.
You need to have a major chat iwth the owners of the place you are in now. that manager had NO right to tell your mother why you were not allowed to renew your lease. Sharing your financial info (and it IS financial info) with anyone is illegal. You are not a minor, your mom is not your guardian, she did not cosign on the lease or bill, and to give out your personal financial information to her is a HUGE problem. Your mom seems to have a problem with boundaries, and to demand financial info from the apt mgr was out of line. For him to give her the info is even worse. I wonder who else he has given your info to, and what info he has given out? Just because you are leaving does NOT mean he can share your info with others, not without your explicit permission.
If there is any way to get to the low income place before Sat, I would do it. Even if it means you miss a tv show or have a super busy evening or need to take an hour off of work. It would be a big help to have the place and low income places are usually used to not so great credit.
You need to have a major chat iwth the owners of the place you are in now. that manager had NO right to tell your mother why you were not allowed to renew your lease. Sharing your financial info (and it IS financial info) with anyone is illegal. You are not a minor, your mom is not your guardian, she did not cosign on the lease or bill, and to give out your personal financial information to her is a HUGE problem. Your mom seems to have a problem with boundaries, and to demand financial info from the apt mgr was out of line. For him to give her the info is even worse. I wonder who else he has given your info to, and what info he has given out? Just because you are leaving does NOT mean he can share your info with others, not without your explicit permission.
LittleDudesMom
Well-Known Member
Susie is right - I am astounded that the apartment manager would reveal private information to your mother - unless she was a cosigner on the lease. What they did is actually illegal.
In regards to the low income housing - it is probably a fair housing project which just means the development/owner got lower income interest financing (or some part grants). They have to comply with HUD regulations regarding salary and family size limits on a particular number of units within the development. They may also be required to make sure different gender siblings have their own bedrooms. I don't know for sure if that is actually a fair housing requirement, but I know it's a section 8 reg. that has to be followed.
Good luck. I agree about seeing if there is any way you could see the apartment today rather than tomorrow.
Sharon
In regards to the low income housing - it is probably a fair housing project which just means the development/owner got lower income interest financing (or some part grants). They have to comply with HUD regulations regarding salary and family size limits on a particular number of units within the development. They may also be required to make sure different gender siblings have their own bedrooms. I don't know for sure if that is actually a fair housing requirement, but I know it's a section 8 reg. that has to be followed.
Good luck. I agree about seeing if there is any way you could see the apartment today rather than tomorrow.
Sharon
