Apparently, being a concerned parent is (VENT)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mrscatinthehat, Dec 19, 2007.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Hmmm I am confused about being too concerned also. But alas I have had to battle school districts a bunch. Hang tough.

  2. tammyjh

    tammyjh New Member

    I've never heard such a thing as being too concerned. We haven't had too many battles with the school system as of yet because behaviorally daughter does better there than at home...not perfect but better. I usually get that attitude from the medical/mental health "professionals".
    You are not too concerned, you are just looking out for your sons best interests. Hang in there!!
  3. happymomof2

    happymomof2 New Member

    :slap: Don't get that either. Too concerned. All of my sons teachers have always applauded me for being involved and concerned because they say most parent aren't. hmmmm........

    My son is in high school and they do the color stages as well. I know this isn't the school forum but I get really upset when the kids really are trying hard to do well and work there way up the chain - then have a minor bad day and get busted all the way back to square one. I think there is a little something wrong with the system. They can't be perfect. And no I am not making excuses for bad behavior - I am just talking about a not so good day - don't we all have those?
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Hmmm... I was talking to my friend who is a kindergarten teacher the other day. She was telling about a child in her class who had been disruptive, etc. The school's decisions was that they would call the mother each time the child misbehaved. They had called the mom four times that day. :surprise:

    I sympathized with the mom in that case. I can also remember going to pick up M and being bombarded every day by the teacher or after school worker. I always felt so helpless!

    I have never heard of a school telling the parent to butt out! I probably would have welcomed in initially in my case, but it would not have been long before I decided I needed to know what was going on.

    And I wouldn't have let them keep M out of the Christmas celebration. That just seems wrong.
  5. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    My difficult child always behaved worse right before big celebrations or field trips, especially if the school used the threat of taking away those activities to try to get him to behave well. I brought this up in several IEP meetings, and finally this was put in his IEP. They stopped threatening him and started being more proactive and positive before these big events, and he started to do better.

    We finally got the school to see that taking away and punishing a kid with ODD doesn't work nearly as well as offering extra rewards. With my difficult child the rewards are usually small, like if he kept up good behavior and was good on the field trip, he would get to eat lunch with his teacher or he'd get to have a shake with his resource room teacher.

    Too concerned? Sounds like they want you to drop the request for different placement or extra services so they're making you doubt yourself. My difficult child's kindergarten teacher told me I was overreacting and that my difficult child was normal. I'd like to see her tell that to every teacher who's dealt with difficult child since.

  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, I'm a bit surprised at the over concerned parent part. When we'd go to IEP meetings everyone always seemed so surprised that husband and I never missed one and always went together. From what they told me, most parents never attend them. HUH?

    I'd have a fit and a half if they tried to exclude my kid from xmas celebrations, don't care what he did. Just the way I am.

    I'm so glad mine have grown out of the SD. I hated fighting them all of the time. At one point they had me so mad during a meeting, they also chose not to believe Travis had any issues (regardless of the stacks of doctor reports in his files), that I demanded to see the head of Special Education's medical degree and told her I wanted no further opinions on my son's dxes until she had one in her hand. (shut her up permanently on that topic lol)

  7. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Don't let them tell you that. Do NOT let them keep him out of the Christmas program. And Demand a change of placement.
    been there done that. YOU have the right to request change of placement.
    I was there (at school a lot) but thinking back now..I would of been there more. The early years sets the example and it should be enjoyable and not stressful.

    Calling mom...what is that going to do? I am that mom, literally. (not reality) I cannot do anything if he doesn't bring a pencil to class. WHY are you calling me telling me this?
    They need to deal with some behaviors, but I will be at their door if they are singling him out, or if things are not working out. I will be working to find a new proceedure, IEP, whatever it takes.
  8. saman

    saman New Member

    You've got to be kidding me! ODD is exactly what you're saying...they'll do it if they WANT to, but if they are he11 bent on not doing it there is NOTHING that will change their mind! Good grief!

    I am appalled that they think you're too understanding is that most schools/teachers thinks parents aren't involved enough! My difficult child's teacher THANKS us for all that we're doing in terms of communication, helpful hints, etc. And YES on the reward system! We've got that set up for P...and it's working.

    He had his Holiday program yesterday and was SO proud. I hope they don't take that away from Beaner...i bet it's something he'd be proud of as well.

    Hang in doesn't sound to me like they are doing their jobs very well. Grrrrrr.
  9. mom23gsfg

    mom23gsfg New Member

    i know what youre taliking about ,the school my son was going to was so frustuating,they refused to believe he had any problems.
    worse because this is the school that me and his bio dad attended they have most of the same teachers there.and his dad was and is no stranger for having a bad rep.for getting into all kinds of things so,i've heard one too many times nothing is wrong with him and give you that look when they mention his dad
    if he'd stayed in that school id went off on the next one that said it!ive blew up many times on them for this,they shouldnt compare him to his dad!
    also when he was there he never got to go on any of their trips!many times he would get into trouble so he didnt have to go.
    he hated that school.he also has perthe's disease which causes a limp in his leg and the kids picked up calling him pengiune.(lord kids are cruel!)once 2 boys took turns hitting him in the head with a football and laughed when my son defended himself (these 2 boys where qiute bigger than he was)by hitting them both back he was the one that got into trouble,not them.
    poor fella had knotts on his head where they had hit him so many times
    but of course the "good"boys did nothing wrong
    now he is in a different school this year (gladly we live in both school zones)and for the first time he has some friends and no trouble there
    sorry but the town school he was going to was for goody goody kids and the staff had their pick and if you wasnt it you didnt count
    the school he is at now is sort of a school that alot of the kids are from the country so they are more down to earth and a whole lot more understanding