Apparently difficult child Is Being Bullied

[Bunny]

I posted the other day that difficult child had a really bad night, and at the end of the screaming tantrum he kept telling me that he didn't want to go to school. That it was too hard and that he just could not do it anymore. He said that he "just needs a few days to calm down so that [he]can go." While all kids complain about going to school now and then (some more than others) this is something that I have never heard difficult child say. I asked him if something at school was bothering him and he told me now. He just couldn't go. husband and I stood our ground and sent him. In the meantime I sent an e-mail to the guidance counselor to ask the teachers if something was going on that I needed to know about. Was he having any problems with his peers? Was he being bullied in any way?

BINGO!!!!

The GC called difficult child down to talk to him about something else, and in the course of the conversation asked him how things were going in general. How were his classes? Things like that. difficult child told the GC that there is a boy, N, in his gym class who was bothering him. Apparently, N is a very good athlete and difficult child is not. I always say he's more Albert Einstein than Albert Pujols. Whenever difficult child does something wrong in gym N gets on his case and is really mean to him about it. So the GC sent an e-mail to the gym teacher saying that several student, one one in particular, have come to him complaining that N is being obnoxious to them and it it really bothering them, without specifically naming difficult child. Gym teachers shoots GC an e-mail back telling him that N was specifically called out in the gym earlier that day for being a bully, specifically naming difficult child as the target of the bullying.

Now, difficult child does not know that the GC and I had spoken and that I know about the problem in the gym class, so while I can't ask difficult child about it, I will be keeping in touch with the GC to make sure that this is being dealt with.

I knew that there was something more going on than just the normal, "I don't want to go to school tomorrow."

 

[InsaneCdn]

Good mommy gut there, Bunny...
And yes... when its out of character? Dig!

 

[buddy]

Good for difficult child for telling GC. Really good to hear the teacher noticed...if not earlier at least this time and now it is on his radar. Gym and sports should be the very time that character is built.

I got bullied for standing up for a boy in gym who was teased for not being able to go in the deep end of the pool. we played water polo and he could not switch sides. I even told the teacher to just let him be on whatever side is in the shallow end. I always got myself in trouble for things like that... I had many days when I didn't want to go to school because people wanted to kill me for standing up for special needs kids etc. They tell kids these days to do that , and that it is cool to stand up for kids and that if they dont they are passive bullies too.... but it is risky and I do really understand why it can be so scary to do that.

You are an amazing mom.... handled it so sensitively. Lucky lucky boy.

 

[Wiped Out]

Bunny-so glad things got sorted out. Good for you for calling the school counselor!

 

[Bunny]

Just spoke to the GC again. This kid in in FOUR classes with difficult child!!!!!

When this happened in gym the teacher pulled difficult child aside and to him, "Look, you have a 90 something grade in my class. The fact that you do not do as well as some other kids is not the issue. You participate and that' what count? This other kids has nowhere near the grade that you do and that is the important thing." Also, now that the gym teacher saw this happen she will be more vigilant to make sure that it does not happen again. I asked what does happen if it does and GC told me that it then gets referred to the Assistant Principal. We'll see how that goes.

He is going to speak to difficult child on Monday and tell him that he noticed that N is in four other classes with him and ask him if there were any problems in any other classes, and that he is going to put a note in their files not to have them in classes together next year. He is also going to put the teachers on alert to be on the lookout for any trouble.

 

[buddy]

Is there someone who is aware of this in the locker room and halls?

 

[InsaneCdn]

The sad part is, N probably has some serious problems of his own, and is NOT getting help for any of it.
One kid was picking on our difficult child in class... and it turned out the bully was failing the class, gave up hope, and was just looking for ways to take others down with him. School was bright enough to put this together (after we reported the bullying) and get the bully extra help for that class... and the bullying went away.

 

[Bunny]

Is there someone who is aware of this in the locker room and halls?

I asked about the hallways (I didn't think about the locker rooms) and the GC told me that there are cameras in the hallways. They don't always get pictures of everything, but they are there and can help to see what, if anything, is going on. He also told me that if anything happens between the two boys that it is on the record that N was causing difficult child problems and that N is the aggressor.