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<blockquote data-quote="SarahRose" data-source="post: 730365" data-attributes="member: 22913"><p>Thank you for these replies. I'm not used to this forum yet, and had no idea anyone had replied. So thank you very much. You've given me a lot to think about, and it's very timely as I was just starting to think that maybe I was being too judgemental of my daughter. I felt disloyal for talking about her (here) behind her back. After some weeks of her not talking to me, I'd started to think she's not that bad. I had a VERY abusive mother (a very cruel woman), and I don't want to be like her.I guess this is what drives me. So, I keep trying to find a way to make things work with my daughter. Of course, right now, I can't do anything towards mending the relationship, as she simply won't talk to me, as I have 'negative energy'......Reading your comments helps immensely, as I live alone and it's very easy to lose perspective......You are right that my daughter will probably try to exploit me, when the baby comes. A year ago, she announced haughtily that she did not believe in childcare, and that the mother should have a career and the grandparents should mind the baby each day.....I balked at that, as I already have a serious illness and am on disability. I said to her that I didn't object to minding the baby sometimes, to help out, but not every working day. She got huffy then, and said that she was sure her dad would want to help with the baby (he runs a business, so I doubt it).....My daughter and her husband both have a high paying jobs, own their own home, pool, expensive cars, have expensive holidays, etc. But my daughter has expensive tastes. She told that isn't going to change.....So, yes, I suspect she will try to use me, so she can continue living a lavish life..................On the other hand,I do worry about the child, as my daughter is moody, and ill-tempered, and I worry about that.....I will look up those books Recovering Enabler mentioned, too. For now, I've decided to just have limited contact with her (once she is talking to me again.) Typically, she does No Talkies for 3 months. Every time I let my guard down, and let her fully into me heart, she breaks it again. I can't keep doing to that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SarahRose, post: 730365, member: 22913"] Thank you for these replies. I'm not used to this forum yet, and had no idea anyone had replied. So thank you very much. You've given me a lot to think about, and it's very timely as I was just starting to think that maybe I was being too judgemental of my daughter. I felt disloyal for talking about her (here) behind her back. After some weeks of her not talking to me, I'd started to think she's not that bad. I had a VERY abusive mother (a very cruel woman), and I don't want to be like her.I guess this is what drives me. So, I keep trying to find a way to make things work with my daughter. Of course, right now, I can't do anything towards mending the relationship, as she simply won't talk to me, as I have 'negative energy'......Reading your comments helps immensely, as I live alone and it's very easy to lose perspective......You are right that my daughter will probably try to exploit me, when the baby comes. A year ago, she announced haughtily that she did not believe in childcare, and that the mother should have a career and the grandparents should mind the baby each day.....I balked at that, as I already have a serious illness and am on disability. I said to her that I didn't object to minding the baby sometimes, to help out, but not every working day. She got huffy then, and said that she was sure her dad would want to help with the baby (he runs a business, so I doubt it).....My daughter and her husband both have a high paying jobs, own their own home, pool, expensive cars, have expensive holidays, etc. But my daughter has expensive tastes. She told that isn't going to change.....So, yes, I suspect she will try to use me, so she can continue living a lavish life..................On the other hand,I do worry about the child, as my daughter is moody, and ill-tempered, and I worry about that.....I will look up those books Recovering Enabler mentioned, too. For now, I've decided to just have limited contact with her (once she is talking to me again.) Typically, she does No Talkies for 3 months. Every time I let my guard down, and let her fully into me heart, she breaks it again. I can't keep doing to that. [/QUOTE]
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