I just joined this forum this evening and have already received help! I will check out The Explosive Chlld. Thank you Marguerite! My 10 yr son had a bad dental experience this last Summer followed by a panic attack and then went downhill after that. He was unable to go to school without me (and usually didn't make it through the day). I fortunately have a great job with understanding supervisors (even a new supervisor I didn't know I was assigned to and who didn't know me). We had lined up a psychiatic appointment the end of November when on a trip to a large shopping center the middle of October, my son went into a breakdown begging me to get him off the third floor. He turned 11 yr old in September. His body was telling him to jump from the balcony. He was sooo scared (me too!). We were on vacation and I called his doctor to get in touch with the psychiatric's office to beg for a sooner appointment. I told them this was urgent and can not wait another month. They got me in the middle of the week (about 4 days away). On the way home, he told me he didn't feel safe at home because he knew where the scissors and hammer were. When we got home, he gathered them up and gave to me to hide. At the psychiatric appointment, my son felt he needed more help than a once per week visit. His self harm thoughts were so powerful he couldn't handle them so we went down the street to a children's psychiatric in-patient facility. When he found out that we couldn't call each other, he was very upset but I reminded him that he had said he would do anything to get over this. He had only been away from mom and dad overnight once or twice in his life. He asked that I stay at a hotel in town instead of going 1 hour home. I did for him and also I don't think I could have been home without him for the first several days. I then went home to get his personal items needed and tell my husband about the admission. It was so hard to tell my husband and relatives - this was sooo unexpected. We did not know what was happening and this was an acute admission. I would visit my son 6:30 - 8:00 pm, check into a hotel, drive home in the morning to work, and back up to the facility for visitation. During a day pass, my son told me, "Do you know what I hate the most about being in here? It's that you can't watch me grow up." One day I stopped at his small day school to get homework assignments, a little girl ran out and said, "We don't know were your boy is!" I assured her that I did know where he was and he would be back soon. He was discharged after 2 weeks with fluxotine and clonazepam for anxiety disorder. He was much much better. I then called the doctor to ask for a referal to a neurologist. My son had a MRI and EEG (both negative). He is diagnosed with a migrant varient but because his auroas are only 2 -3 seconds which indicates epileptic disorder, we scheduled a 48 hour EEG to try to catch an epileptic activity. This was scheduled for the day after Easter. I ended up cancelling it because his symptoms have discontinued. I had found in research that clonazepam is also a medication given for epilepsy. So, I am waiting until we start taking him off the clonazepam (hopefully in June) and see if the symptoms return. If so, we will reschedule just to cover that base. My son is having some difficulty with being part of the school that he grew up in. He has such different interests than the other kids who will not play the games he wants to play. He has become the self proclaimed referee at group games and can be heard stating the actions of the games (like what is being played, who is it, ect). He is very stuck on rules leading me to look at scrupulosity Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). He actually refused a teacher's directive to go to the back of the line one day. He was at the front of the line when a girl tried to push him off his spot. The teacher came in during the argument and told them both to go to the back of the line. My son refused saying, "As a person, this is my place. Rosa Parks did not give up her spot on the bus so I shouldn't have to give up this place." It took me all night to try to get him to understand that teachers do have the right to take away your space in line if they believe your behaviour is not good. He should have obeyed the directive and then later went to talk to her about it. However, at that point, he was only looking at his view of justice and wouldn't consider the whole picture. My son is getting more and more defiant. It may just boil down to my bad parenting skills. I just never know how to handle disobedience. I asked the therapist for a test for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) before we increase his medications for that purpose. I don't think ODD is it - ODD includes aggression which there is none. We will continue to work with the therapist and who knows where this is all going to? A positive for us is that my son and I have always been real close. His ability to confide in me about his self harm thoughts was such a positive. We are also able to discuss what is happening outside his defiant moments. We have discussed that we are both scared of what will happen if he doesn't stop defying authority (mainly mom - only that one time with a teacher) or not accepting teacher's directives. He thinks because his dad is school board chair, that he can have any teacher fired that upsets him. (another issue we are working on) I think if I can find the right tools, he will make it through this and be able to keep control. My husband and I have both been super opposed to having a dog - neither of us want that responsibility. I have started to believe our son does need a dog so I have allowed our 17 year old daughter to purchase a bichon frise puppy. Our son is in charge of mornings and gets to play with it whenever sister is gone or gives approval which is a lot. I see that it has helped him release some stress. I still hate having to take care of it at times but it is something my son needs so I guess I will continue. I also just had his hearing checked. He had a ton of ear infections as an infant and a hearing loss at age 5 which cleared up and was helped with tubes when he turned 6. I have his hearing checked almost yearly. I think it has been 2 - 3 years since this has been checked so took him in last week. He has a new hearing loss (high frequency - nothing too dramatic at this stage). We will go back in July to verify the loss and check on changes. So, that is our long story in the short form. Any advise will be appreciated. Especially, how do you handle a defiant moment - such as refusing to leave sister's room when told to?