Do you as the parent/caregiver of a difficult child ever feel like you are on a perpetual roller coaster, stuck to no avail, right beside your difficult child for all the ups/downs/curves, and you can't get off? I do! This thread I started: http://www.conductdisorders.com/for...iagnosis-15-yr-old-daughter-32979/#post355726 - show's what has happened in the near past with gfg15. And then this week on Tuesday, we had an OUTSTANDING therapy session, I posted about that: http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f6/cherry-top-33528/#post357343 And last night when gfg15 called me, and I asked how she was feeling, I swear I could see the lightbulb effect through the phone, because instead of 'fine/okay/i don't know', she paused and then responded with somewhat concrete feelings - so it was GREAT to see her trying even outside of the therapy session. This morning was a FANTASTIC day, because I got to sign off on her IEP - something I have been trying to get for gfg15 for the past 4 years - so this was a HUGE success, because I truly believe this will help her get educationally closer to her peers. So most of this week I was feeling so very hopeful - that was, until this afternoon I got a call from PMIC! NOW, she got caught by other kids rifling through other peoples lockers/bags/etc in the gym room, on days she didn't even HAVE gym and times when she shouldn't have even been in there (this occurred at school, by the way). AND to make it even worse, during another phone call this afternoon with staff, I got to listen to my difficult child completely BLOWING up while she was being questioned about what occurred at school - of course she is still in complete denial - but it hurt sooooooo very much listening to her blow up. I'm not even sure why yet, as I've dealt with HUGE physical RAGES from her in the past - I think maybe because I felt so helpless. It is like she is roller coasting, and I'm stuck along side her, I get to share in all the triumphs but then get whipped back down with all the stealing/self harm/suicidal thoughts/etc, right with her. For the past 4 days I was thinking she was doing soooooo good! I thought her and I were 'clicking' and huge progress steps were occurring, but then this! She's set to come home tomorrow for an overnight. Her & I were initially going to have 3 hours of alone time while her bro & sis were away - but after this I chose to spend our time differently than planned - her and I will be working on her community service that she was given for the theft occurrences 2 weeks ago. I figure there are plenty of walls/floors/dusting/etc to be done at the PMIC that will keep us busy. This evening I spent an hour going thru each square inch of her bedroom removing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that she could use to harm herself when she comes home for her visit. I'm also fearful that she will actually self harm again within the next few days, because that is what basically happened 2 weeks ago when she got caught stealing all the money and other stuff, and all of that landed her in the hospital. I pray that i can keep her safe from herself while she is here on her visit.