This list blew my mind as I continue to study the dynamics of families...the Golden Child, the Lost Child and the Scapegoat. I just found out one can be a scapegoat who speaks out and gets into trouble for it and also a people pleaser. I had to check "yes" to almost every single people pleaser trait. In my heart, if somebody says something about me, I believe it. I didn't even know I was supposed to or allowed to ever put myself first until I joined Codependents Anonymous and, although I got accused of it, I didn't. When I had a meltdown because I was not rightly medicated for my mood disorder, that was not being selfish...it was my illness. I did blame myself for everything that went wrong. I still have to fight that, but I'm a lot better now. Yes, I used to think I had to fix everyone, which is how I got into trouble often with my FOO. I spoke out in behalf of others and got blamed for it by both parties, but I felt I had to try. The only two that don't fit me are the last two. I never did bury my feelings and perhaps could not control them enough until put on good medications. And there still is a risk that rarely happens now if I'm under extreme stress so that the medications can't work. I don't believe I ever confused pity for love, however I did feel I had to care for others, such as my fist husband. How about you. Any surprises? Maybe I'm the only one interested in this. Happens a lot Characteristics of People Pleasers: People Pleasers rarely consider their own needs, wants, and desires. People Pleasers take any criticism as fact, and immediately suffer a deflation in their own self-esteem. People Pleasers feel an extraordinary fear of abandonment. People Pleasers blame themselves for everything that ever goes wrong. People Pleasers are more concerned with others' feelings than their own. People Pleasers have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, expecting of themselves magical abilities to fix the significant others' in their lives. People Pleasers learned early in their lives to bury their own feelings, needs, and wants, and keep them buried until they get help for their problems. People Pleasers chronically confuse pity with love and self-sacrifice with caring for others.