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Parent Emeritus
Are you overly involved in your adult child's life?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 643841" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thanks MWM. </p><p></p><p>She states the obvious when she says that we don't "own" our children, that we don't have a right to have expectations of anyone but ourselves, and that we need to put the emphasis on our own life and stop ruminating about theirs. </p><p></p><p>I believe all of that to be true and I think when our kids do go off the rails, it's easy to forget all 3 of those things. When I look back over the last few years I can see that I was not adhering to any of that but <em>I had to learn how to do it...</em>.....I think it's pretty hard to do.......and yet, if <u>we're</u> going to have any kind of a life, it becomes absolutely necessary. We parents really struggle with all of it when we have difficult child's, which is why detaching is so difficult. </p><p></p><p>Lately for me, it's as if I picked up my own life after a really long vacation from it. Parenting in general takes up portions of our lives, but parenting a difficult child, takes up every bit of energy and space and vitality and can extract our very life force. All of that is now mine, like a big empty space I get to fill up with what <em><u>I want.</u></em> I couldn't be more grateful and happy about it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 643841, member: 13542"] Thanks MWM. She states the obvious when she says that we don't "own" our children, that we don't have a right to have expectations of anyone but ourselves, and that we need to put the emphasis on our own life and stop ruminating about theirs. I believe all of that to be true and I think when our kids do go off the rails, it's easy to forget all 3 of those things. When I look back over the last few years I can see that I was not adhering to any of that but [I]I had to learn how to do it...[/I].....I think it's pretty hard to do.......and yet, if [U]we're[/U] going to have any kind of a life, it becomes absolutely necessary. We parents really struggle with all of it when we have difficult child's, which is why detaching is so difficult. Lately for me, it's as if I picked up my own life after a really long vacation from it. Parenting in general takes up portions of our lives, but parenting a difficult child, takes up every bit of energy and space and vitality and can extract our very life force. All of that is now mine, like a big empty space I get to fill up with what [I][U]I want.[/U][/I] I couldn't be more grateful and happy about it. [/QUOTE]
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Are you overly involved in your adult child's life?
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