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Are you too nice? Good article.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 663400" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I don't even know. I was so focused on that freaking dinner. I work really hard for the kids, and for the family. I think these good things cannot happen without someone doing what is required to bring it all together behind the scenes. I like the excitement and the planning and etc. I like having the thing done and I love it when everyone is happy, or when at least, we've managed to discuss whatever it was and come out still together. </p><p></p><p>Mostly I don't resent things and if I do, I have to stop. I have to always be careful around anger issues. Anger blinds me. I fall into self justifying and etc and who even knows what the truth of the thing is anymore.</p><p></p><p>So, if there is alot of anger in a relationship, best to let it go because I don't know what to do about anger. I just don't have a clue what to do about it.</p><p></p><p>It's very unpleasant.</p><p></p><p>I sound like a dork. I get that.</p><p></p><p>I think I do not have a problem with saying what I see. My problem is that it has to be pretty blatant before I believe I saw what I saw. If there is a conflict, I will try to explain myself but again ~ in comes anger and I don't know which end is up and I don't like to see anyone hurt and I always feel responsible and whew.</p><p></p><p>What a mess.</p><p></p><p>I tend to feel badly, and to wish I could have been a better person or done better or whatever. Lately though, I am getting it pretty clearly that there are people whose agendas are so different than mine as to be unrecognizable to me.</p><p></p><p>So I am working on letting go of feeling responsible for what someone else thinks, or for whether they claim to have been hurt without turning into some heartless jerk or something. I can get all wrapped up in whether hurting them was like, a secret intention. Lately, what I see is that other people have some pretty strange intentions, too. In the past, I thought I was the responsible party. That is not always true.</p><p></p><p>Though it usually takes two.</p><p></p><p>See the circle?</p><p></p><p>So my answer is: I don't know. I am working on saying no, and on being on time, and on trying to be present and on self discipline instead of eating everything in the fridge.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 663400, member: 17461"] I don't even know. I was so focused on that freaking dinner. I work really hard for the kids, and for the family. I think these good things cannot happen without someone doing what is required to bring it all together behind the scenes. I like the excitement and the planning and etc. I like having the thing done and I love it when everyone is happy, or when at least, we've managed to discuss whatever it was and come out still together. [I][/I] Mostly I don't resent things and if I do, I have to stop. I have to always be careful around anger issues. Anger blinds me. I fall into self justifying and etc and who even knows what the truth of the thing is anymore. So, if there is alot of anger in a relationship, best to let it go because I don't know what to do about anger. I just don't have a clue what to do about it. It's very unpleasant. I sound like a dork. I get that. I think I do not have a problem with saying what I see. My problem is that it has to be pretty blatant before I believe I saw what I saw. If there is a conflict, I will try to explain myself but again ~ in comes anger and I don't know which end is up and I don't like to see anyone hurt and I always feel responsible and whew. What a mess. I tend to feel badly, and to wish I could have been a better person or done better or whatever. Lately though, I am getting it pretty clearly that there are people whose agendas are so different than mine as to be unrecognizable to me. So I am working on letting go of feeling responsible for what someone else thinks, or for whether they claim to have been hurt without turning into some heartless jerk or something. I can get all wrapped up in whether hurting them was like, a secret intention. Lately, what I see is that other people have some pretty strange intentions, too. In the past, I thought I was the responsible party. That is not always true. Though it usually takes two. See the circle? So my answer is: I don't know. I am working on saying no, and on being on time, and on trying to be present and on self discipline instead of eating everything in the fridge. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Are you too nice? Good article.
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