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Are you your worst abuser?
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<blockquote data-quote="Confused" data-source="post: 641801" data-attributes="member: 18100"><p>You all know how I would answer but, good questions MidwestMom, and heres my answers...( I know you wanted to throw this to the PE parents... but... as usual.. I thought Id squeeze my butt in here before its moved!!! ( one day Ill be in PE 4 more years less) </p><p></p><p></p><p>If somebody tells you that you are a bad daughter/mother/co-worker/person..<span style="color: #ffcc99">.<u><span style="color: #0000b3">do you automatically feel badly and agree with them</span>.</u></span>..or do you logically review the facts to see if the allegation is really true.</p><p></p><p>If somebody treats you like dirt, do you<u> <span style="color: #0000ff">accept it</span></u> if it is somebody you WISH would care about you? Do you think that, in some way, you deserve it? <span style="color: #0000ff"><u>Been told I take it wrong or I deserve it</u></span> <span style="color: #0000ff"><u>I never used to think I deserved but would take the blame for things even if I didnt do it... so for years accept even tho I complain and cry bout it</u></span></p><p></p><p>Do you put everybody else before yourself and take very little time to stress out, enjoy yourself free of others, and relax? <span style="color: #0000ff"><u>Yup No time too and no help for me to do so and even if I tried I get a guilt trip or lectured saying I have no reason to do anything for myself its not bad my life they say.....</u></span></p><p></p><p>Do you constantly put yourself in situations where you KNOW you will be abused? Do you feel you HAVE to go to certain events where people who are constantly unkind to you will be? I so...why is that? Are they more important than you are? <span style="color: #0000ff"><u>I always wanted to help others no matter their issues even it was taken out on me, then the threats came...Seem so...</u></span></p><p></p><p>Do you suffer from high blood pressure, bad nerves, sleeplessness, poor eating, unhealthy ruminating, etc. because of other people and their choices? Do you take better care of others mental health and physical needs than your own? Why would you do this if you do? Don't you value yourself? <span style="color: #0000ff"><u>Yes because they come first </u></span></p><p></p><p>Do you defend those who are unkind to you? Why do you think you do this? Do you truly think they deserve your defense of them?<span style="color: #0000ff"> <u>No, I dont defend what they do..well..depending</u></span></p><p></p><p>In secret, do you use substances to calm your overwrought nerves due to how other people are behaving or treating you?<span style="color: #0000ff"> <u>No</u></span></p><p></p><p>Do you treat yourself to your own therapist or self-help group or do you just encourage your abusers to seek help? Why should they seek help and not you? YOU MATTER! <span style="color: #0000ff"><u>Nope</u></span></p><p></p><p>Do you do the same self-destructive things over and over again, although they hurt you?<span style="color: #0000ff"> <u>By keep helping them and not able to pull out of this rut? Yes..I know what I would like and what I envision my life would be like in peace.. laughter..jobs... living under MY rules only as an adult!!</u></span></p><p></p><p>Do you love or even like yourself? Why not? Is it due to false allegations others make about you? Is there any reality to their allegations? Do you think with your emotions or with your head? <u><span style="color: #0000ff">Do not love or like myself ( used to but after hearing put downs and comparisons threats.. other things..plus my weight I hate about me as do others)I think with my emotions..<span style="color: #0000ff"><u>I know what I would like and what I envision my life would be like in peace.. laughter..jobs... living under MY rules only as an adult!! Sometimes I think if I had this opp I could be the old me the me who could relax and have some fun, the me who enjoyed making crazy maybe horrible dishes for myself and kids and have fun with it being gross not being put down about it( im no chef) I could take up some fun things to do, etc.. maybe Id be able to love myself again..I know I make mistake and I can own up to them no matter what they are or how hard but....I feel false allegations make it worse..</u></span></span></u></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Confused, post: 641801, member: 18100"] You all know how I would answer but, good questions MidwestMom, and heres my answers...( I know you wanted to throw this to the PE parents... but... as usual.. I thought Id squeeze my butt in here before its moved!!! ( one day Ill be in PE 4 more years less) If somebody tells you that you are a bad daughter/mother/co-worker/person..[COLOR=#ffcc99].[U][COLOR=#0000b3]do you automatically feel badly and agree with them[/COLOR].[/U][/COLOR]..or do you logically review the facts to see if the allegation is really true. If somebody treats you like dirt, do you[U] [COLOR=#0000ff]accept it[/COLOR][/U][COLOR=#0059b3] [/COLOR]if it is somebody you WISH would care about you? Do you think that, in some way, you deserve it? [COLOR=#0000ff][U]Been told I take it wrong or I deserve it[/U][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][U]I never used to think I deserved but would take the blame for things even if I didnt do it... so for years accept even tho I complain and cry bout it[/U][/COLOR] Do you put everybody else before yourself and take very little time to stress out, enjoy yourself free of others, and relax? [COLOR=#0000ff][U]Yup No time too and no help for me to do so and even if I tried I get a guilt trip or lectured saying I have no reason to do anything for myself its not bad my life they say.....[/U][/COLOR] Do you constantly put yourself in situations where you KNOW you will be abused? Do you feel you HAVE to go to certain events where people who are constantly unkind to you will be? I so...why is that? Are they more important than you are? [COLOR=#0000ff][U]I always wanted to help others no matter their issues even it was taken out on me, then the threats came...Seem so...[/U][/COLOR] Do you suffer from high blood pressure, bad nerves, sleeplessness, poor eating, unhealthy ruminating, etc. because of other people and their choices? Do you take better care of others mental health and physical needs than your own? Why would you do this if you do? Don't you value yourself? [COLOR=#0000ff][U]Yes because they come first [/U][/COLOR] Do you defend those who are unkind to you? Why do you think you do this? Do you truly think they deserve your defense of them?[COLOR=#0000ff] [U]No, I dont defend what they do..well..depending[/U][/COLOR] In secret, do you use substances to calm your overwrought nerves due to how other people are behaving or treating you?[COLOR=#0000ff] [U]No[/U][/COLOR] Do you treat yourself to your own therapist or self-help group or do you just encourage your abusers to seek help? Why should they seek help and not you? YOU MATTER! [COLOR=#0000ff][U]Nope[/U][/COLOR] Do you do the same self-destructive things over and over again, although they hurt you?[COLOR=#0000ff] [U]By keep helping them and not able to pull out of this rut? Yes..I know what I would like and what I envision my life would be like in peace.. laughter..jobs... living under MY rules only as an adult!![/U][/COLOR] Do you love or even like yourself? Why not? Is it due to false allegations others make about you? Is there any reality to their allegations? Do you think with your emotions or with your head? [U][COLOR=#0000ff]Do not love or like myself ( used to but after hearing put downs and comparisons threats.. other things..plus my weight I hate about me as do others)I think with my emotions..[COLOR=#0000ff][U]I know what I would like and what I envision my life would be like in peace.. laughter..jobs... living under MY rules only as an adult!! Sometimes I think if I had this opp I could be the old me the me who could relax and have some fun, the me who enjoyed making crazy maybe horrible dishes for myself and kids and have fun with it being gross not being put down about it( im no chef) I could take up some fun things to do, etc.. maybe Id be able to love myself again..I know I make mistake and I can own up to them no matter what they are or how hard but....I feel false allegations make it worse..[/U][/COLOR][/COLOR][/U] [/QUOTE]
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