Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Jan 6, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I apologize now for eating up the board today- and lately I guess.....

    I'm so annoyed with the school. difficult child went to school on Monday. He was excited and got ready early and rode the bus. I emailed cm on Mon. morning and told her that therapist and I were both concerned about difficult child making up work from his many absences before holiday break- that they needed to deal with this supprotively and patiently with difficult child so he would not get overwhelmed. They (school cm and principal) knew difficult child had been in psychiatric hospital 2nd week of Dec over concern about him self-harming. All of them- cm and teachers knew he had been unstable and cycling for a month or more before then.

    difficult child didn't go to school yesterday.

    I find out tonight that at least one teacher juumped on difficult child's case in front of class (PE teacher) about him needing to get his act together and get to school. Then, they someone gave hiim his interim report from December and it was all F's because he'd missed so much. Never mind that I told cm on Dec 9 that we need to review IEP again because things were turning into a much more serious problem than I had foreseen. (The meeting is scheduled for tomorrow)

    On top of that, difficult child had a handful of makeup work given to him Mon- the first day back from break and in spite of my email saying they needed to go slow with this.

    Same thing happened in Dec- difficult child tried going back- was sent home with a pile of makeup work and he didn't go back to school for the rest of the week. I had emailed then, too, telling cm that we needed to concentrate first on getting difficult child back to stability and back in routine of going to school regularly and worry about makeup work second. I told her he needs a tutor and one on one help. That has all been ignored- except for once when she told me one of his teachers could stay one day (not one day a week- one day PERIOD)after school but that was it. But, she emailed almost daily about whether or not he's done all this work yet.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    :hammer: Maybe you need a BIGGER HAMMER to get it through their THICK HEADS?!!!
  3. maril

    maril New Member

    So sorry to hear about the lack of help. I am sure this is a very difficult time for your son. You would think there would be more support...

    Anyway, hopefully something positive will come about at the IEP meeting. I will keep my fingers crossed for your son. Good luck.
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I so hate homework. I am so glad difficult child actually got his homework done a lot earlier than normal tonight because I had forgotten about a meeting that started at 7:00. difficult child and I got to church at 7:30 and didn't get home until 9:15. No time for homework when we normally would have done it. Much of it he could have done while I was at the meeting but he asked me to help him with the larger work.

    To miss so much school and be behind with hw is so discouraging. I think schools need to look at creative ways within the school hour to help the student who misses more than 2 - 3 days to catch up. When my difficult child missed two weeks, he did not have to do spelling or memory and the math teacher offered to cut down on the number of math problems in each lesson. She caught on real quick that difficult child understood the concept and did well for the first part of the assignment and then lost focus and performance went down. His teachers were focused on teaching and tried to figure out what was best for him.

    Good luck with the IEP meeting.
  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Wouldn't having all Fs show negative educational impact and necessitate a referral to the county team????? Think that'd work?
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So frustrating!!! I don't get it-what is going through those teachers' minds?
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    certainly you have an arsenal of amunition for the IEP meeting today. The fact that his interim was all Fs, he was hospitalized for a week last month, attended what, maybe 5 days or less for the entire month of December and didn't go the second day of this month, would be a clear indication that interventions are desperately needed for difficult child.

    Before you go to the meeting today, I would check the Special Education archives for some information on school refusal and/or school anxiety and do an online search on IEP accoms/mods for school refusal and/or school anxiety. ldonline is another good resource for helping to write an effectivce IEP.

    Listen, the bottom line here is that your son needs to be educated in order to insure there is a chance for success in his furture (and it is his right). But more importantly, someone on the child study team needs to understand that he cannot be educated in the traditional way. That understanding MUST be translated to all staff. Having a teacher or two that don't understand can sabatage all the other teacher's good intentions.

    You should absolutely insist that his current teachers are part of the IEP team. This is not something that schools are not used to. It is late for that to happen for today, but in the future I would strongly suggest it. Sometimes teachers believe parents are making overprotective gestures - if they are part of the IEP team, they understand "them are the facts"!

    Good luck at the meeting today. Make sure your input is officially part of the IEP minutes and don't sign off until you are 100% satisfied. I suggest the same kind of thing that JJJ did - it may be time to go outside the current school building and find out what supports the school system at large has to offer (and I don't mean on your own, I mean as a part of the IEP team's mission).

    Good luck.

  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks everyone-

    I'm taking the interim report showing the grades. I'm taking my list of things that need to be covered. I tried to call the lady at PEATC yesterday but she was out. I'll try to catch her this morning. She's not local but she is in the state so she would know any pertinent state law in addition to IDEA/wrighst law.

    I know they should be addressing this differently- actually, they should have already done something. But, our sd will push things and do illegal things if they think they can get by with it. One thing they'll probably do- if they even consider the fapt team, is use that over my head to get me to sign iep.

    One of my worries is that if we don't get this iep straightned out- to reflect real needs other than just behavior- other people who'll be getting involved, whether it's an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or whatever, will look at difficult child's iep and think he's still a behavior issue at school. BUT- accommodations listed show that it isn't all behavior related needs- they are all just listed under that category.
  9. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We had wording re make-up work built into both the IEP's for both my difficult children. Many times, if they ahd missed too much school,teachers came up with alternate ways to have them make up work for a grade, e.g., not every single assignment missed but enough so that they "got" the concepts of what they missed. Youngest had a resource class, and that was where she was able to work on most of her make-up work, with the help of the resource teacher. Just an idea.

    Teachers were ALWAYS included in the IEP meetings for my kids, or at least invited (not all attended).
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    We have that in his iep, too, already. His cm and teacher for the specific class are to determine which miniimal amount difficult child has to make up. And his cm teaches his resource class. But, she still handed him a pile Monday. I told difficult child that he didn't have to do it all at once and that they should be giving him smaller portions at a time. He said "oh, she did- she's got a lot more than this to give me". I really think that they are doing this to punish him because in their minds, he needs to be taught a lesson no to miss so much school.

    Right or wrong- it goes back to the ED classification- the way teachers and school personnel are going to interpret that as needing behavior modification and not seeing the child's need as a health impairment that is out of the kid's control. This is on my list of things to discuss today.

    I'm half asleep- I updated last night's "exciting" events on the WC. Things have to take a turn soon or I'm going to fall over. LOL!
  11. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I am sorry I am late to this. I am angry for you - HOW DARE THAT GYM TEACHER!!!!

    I just wanted to wish you luck with the meeting. Go get em warrior mom!!!

    Let us know what happens. :)
  12. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I totally agree on the classification; changing Youngest's to "other health impaired" was important to me as well ... "ED" seems to put a stigma in the teacher's minds. I gave the teachers articles about brain function and bipolar and it being a neurological disorder, not a "behavioral" one .. all provided to me by the CABF.

    How incredibly frustrating, that all that is in the IEP and they are not following it! ARGH! GO GET 'EM!
  13. klmno, I had the same problem with my difficult child when he returned to school after being in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and the partial program. He was behind where the rest of the kids were. We (difficult child and I) were told in my meeting with the counselor and some of his teachers that it was HIS responsibility to arrange with his teachers and that I WOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR A TUTOR. She said it was HIS problem to get caught up. He will have to take the end of semester exams along with everyone else.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Arrrgh! is right.
    I missed this note. So sorry.

    How frustrating.
    Did you talk to them today?
    I'll check the WC too.
  15. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thank you, Terry! It went better than expectedbut not as well as I'd hoped. I'll post as soon as I can find some more energy!! LOL!
  16. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm looking forward to an update too KLMNO. ML