Daughter (21) gets to use my car while I am away on vacation for a month because she has to get to school twice a week (2 hour drive each way) and we also thought shopping for groceries would be good independence for her. Now she is applying for a job which she will most likely get (and I am in favor of) but it looks like she will constantly use my car while I am gone which was not really the deal to begin with. My rule is nobody drives my car, but obviously I have to make concessions when I am not here and and has to get to school . (The job would be her first job) So, she wants to go to her friends house on the day I am leaving on my trip. I would prefer if she was home to see me off but in all fairness she offered to take me to airport directly after school (which I would have to go with her to big city) and then she wanted to go on to her friend's who lives 45 minutes from airport. This is all a lot of mileage which I am always concerned about. (car already has 180K miles) She now wants to stay at friends house for 2 nights .I am guessing she is maybe escaping her feelings of me leaving because she mentioned before it was hard for her when I go .But she didn't specifically say that . I agreed to one night this morning, not 2. I am not comfortable with my car being gone for 2 days in my absence . She already said they would not use my car for anything while she is there , they would use the friend's car, but I can't really trust it. So this morning, of course , she doesn't want to accept that I am only agreeing to 1 night . She has a way of pushing me .I felt pressed to give a reason when she wouldn't accept that I am not comfortable with it because when we had talked before and things were better between us, I had said that 2 nighters were a possibility. So I said something I should not have and I feel terrible now. I told her that I don't trust her because she lies all the time . She asked about what and I said "everything". She said that was a blanket statement which is true. It is also true that she lies all the time about what cleaning has gotten done and many other things .When she lived at school last year, she manipulated money out of me by saying she was getting a 90 day refill on a prescription but then bought a 30 and pocketed the rest of the money. She retorted that trust is a 2 way street and she did not trust me, either. And I just said that's fine. But, I feel awful that I told her she lies all the time about everything. It's true but I should have just stuck to my not being comfortable and not said anything about that. How do I come back from that? I am too honest with my feelings with her a lot and it always ends up biting me .I want her to feel I trust her so she makes good decisions for herself but I am also seeing now that I don't trust her, so I am pretending with her. Our relationship has not been great lately and I feel like she only talks to me nicely when she wants something from me. That doesn't feel good .Other than that there is a lot of criticism of me. And I feel like she can't wait to get my car while I am gone and go all over the place without Mom"s eye on her all the time . I could be wrong, of course. The friend lives 1 hour away from our house, and she was planning on staying there Tue-Thu some time during my absence and go to school from there . She does not like my husband (her bio Dad), claims emotional abuse during dry drunk years and has these stories of what he did (which are not outside of the realm of a frustrated parent) that she won't forgive him for. But even with me , she stays holed up in her room all day, she makes all of her own meals (that I buy the ingredients for), she doesn't eat with the family .this has been going on for 5 plus years (the separate meals and eating times) and started with her eating disorder . So I feel like she won't participate in the family , rejects her Dad (who pays for everything) but now wants complete freedom with my car while I am gone .she has no money, so if there were any accident, she can't pay for the deductible.