Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Arrested - Need Support
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 622935" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Stress Bunny, I am so sorry this is happening to you and your family. Yet another family.</p><p></p><p>We did bail our son out of jail once or twice (honestly can't remember) and we did hire a lawyer a couple of times. We have also paid for rehab twice. I have spent countless hours sitting in court. I have made many phone calls and have been to the courthouse to pay fines. I have driven him all around town on countless errands and trips and have loaned money I have never seen and will never see again (with many unkept promises).</p><p></p><p>I don't do those things anymore, but I stopped doing them little by little. It certainly was not overnight and it took me months and even years to stop, and it took my ex-husband (his father) even longer. We can only do the best we can, and I believe you are doing way more than I could have done at the point where you are, as far as I can tell by the information you provided. </p><p></p><p>I understand why you bailed him out of jail, and about his job. I hope your actions make a difference. </p><p></p><p>Stress, what you are going through right now is awful. And then his response adds insult to injury. I don't understand the arrogance either. My son was very arrogant early on. Today, he is saying he knows he is responsible for all of the things that have happened. My son seems different today, but he is 24.5 years old. There is a lot of water under the bridge. He is homeless right now and has been since Feb. 14. </p><p></p><p>My son has lost his license (has it back now), wrecked his car multiple times, lost his insurance, has felonies now, plus many misdemeanors, has spent multiple times in jail, once for 7 months, etc. etc. etc. </p><p></p><p>No matter what we did, said, or made happen, he just kept spiraling down. Today, if he gets arrested one more time, he will go to prison for four years. Will that be enough for him not to get in trouble again? I don't know. </p><p></p><p>I only know that he has had to get to this point, himself. I honestly don't believe anything I have ever done or said has made any difference. And I have said it all and then some. I used to think I could reason with him enough to make him see. Didn't happen, no matter how much time I spent, how many words I used and how much I cried and begged him to stop. </p><p></p><p>Maybe later, he will reflect back on it all and realize we gave him a good foundation for life, but it didn't slow down the destruction one bit.</p><p></p><p>Here is my best advice for you right now while you are in crisis:</p><p></p><p>1. Take a little time for yourself every day and do something nice for YOU. Take a bath, take a nap, take a walk, buy yourself some grocery store flowers.</p><p>2. Write a gratitude list every morning---just five things. Take just five minutes. Miraculously, this can change your day. Don't ask me how, it just does. </p><p>3. Go to an Al-Anon meeting. Then go to five more before you decide if Al-Anon is right for you or not. I have experienced amazing support, strength and hope from this program and it has literally saved my sanity.</p><p></p><p>Keep coming back here. There is tremendous support, regardless of what you decide to do or not do. We respect the fact that you can only do what you can live with. You are the only one who knows what is right for you. But we can share our experience, strength and hope and you can take what you like and leave the rest.</p><p></p><p>I am praying for you and your family tonight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 622935, member: 17542"] Stress Bunny, I am so sorry this is happening to you and your family. Yet another family. We did bail our son out of jail once or twice (honestly can't remember) and we did hire a lawyer a couple of times. We have also paid for rehab twice. I have spent countless hours sitting in court. I have made many phone calls and have been to the courthouse to pay fines. I have driven him all around town on countless errands and trips and have loaned money I have never seen and will never see again (with many unkept promises). I don't do those things anymore, but I stopped doing them little by little. It certainly was not overnight and it took me months and even years to stop, and it took my ex-husband (his father) even longer. We can only do the best we can, and I believe you are doing way more than I could have done at the point where you are, as far as I can tell by the information you provided. I understand why you bailed him out of jail, and about his job. I hope your actions make a difference. Stress, what you are going through right now is awful. And then his response adds insult to injury. I don't understand the arrogance either. My son was very arrogant early on. Today, he is saying he knows he is responsible for all of the things that have happened. My son seems different today, but he is 24.5 years old. There is a lot of water under the bridge. He is homeless right now and has been since Feb. 14. My son has lost his license (has it back now), wrecked his car multiple times, lost his insurance, has felonies now, plus many misdemeanors, has spent multiple times in jail, once for 7 months, etc. etc. etc. No matter what we did, said, or made happen, he just kept spiraling down. Today, if he gets arrested one more time, he will go to prison for four years. Will that be enough for him not to get in trouble again? I don't know. I only know that he has had to get to this point, himself. I honestly don't believe anything I have ever done or said has made any difference. And I have said it all and then some. I used to think I could reason with him enough to make him see. Didn't happen, no matter how much time I spent, how many words I used and how much I cried and begged him to stop. Maybe later, he will reflect back on it all and realize we gave him a good foundation for life, but it didn't slow down the destruction one bit. Here is my best advice for you right now while you are in crisis: 1. Take a little time for yourself every day and do something nice for YOU. Take a bath, take a nap, take a walk, buy yourself some grocery store flowers. 2. Write a gratitude list every morning---just five things. Take just five minutes. Miraculously, this can change your day. Don't ask me how, it just does. 3. Go to an Al-Anon meeting. Then go to five more before you decide if Al-Anon is right for you or not. I have experienced amazing support, strength and hope from this program and it has literally saved my sanity. Keep coming back here. There is tremendous support, regardless of what you decide to do or not do. We respect the fact that you can only do what you can live with. You are the only one who knows what is right for you. But we can share our experience, strength and hope and you can take what you like and leave the rest. I am praying for you and your family tonight. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Arrested - Need Support
Top