Arrgghhh! How to decide between wraparound svcs and academics and real-life boarding

[TerryJ2]

I've narrowed down our search for a boarding school for difficult child to 3 places in NC. This is really difficult, because they are so similar. I don't know if I want to deal with-emotional needs and wraparound svcs, or real-life weekend outings to meet strangers and do volunteer work, or social skills in general or academics. I'm going to have our doctors help us make the decision.
Meanwhile, I have to sell husband on this. Literally. I am cashing in one of my retirement accts and hoping to take out a loan for the rest.
difficult child's girlfriend texted him at the end of the school day that she wants to break up. This is their 1-mo anniv. Great. Now he's dejected and dependent and I get to feel even guiltier ...

 

[buddy]

Is it too expensive to go visit each of them to see what they are really like so you can see what your gut tells you? I know you would visit before actually sending him but I was thinking it woul d be hard to visit all of them to see.... kind of like college tours.

So, what do you think husband's response is going to actually be? WIll hold out good thoughts for you.

 

[DammitJanet]

Do you want my take on it? On the off chance that would be a yes, I would go for academics and social skills training because he needs to learn to live in the real world in the not so distant future and times a ticking.

If you have names, I am more than happy to research them for you. I do have some in's with people who have access to knowledge of if a place is good or not. I just found out that one of Cory's old techs is now a Special Education mental health professional working for the state board of education. Boy did she go far! Miss Theresa loved her some Cory and he loved her back. He would listen to her better than anyone else. LOL.

 

[TerryJ2]

Thank you.
Yes, I can and am encouraged to visit each one, preferably with-difficult child. Of course, he'll hate them all no matter what, so I think husband and I should go alone.
I am mtng with-the therapist in an hr to start the discussion.