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<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 40148" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>Dear ROE,</p><p></p><p>I am new here, and I felt compelled to respond to your post. Your description of your difficult child could easily be our difficult child. He also is a sophmore, and we've been able to make it on a wing and a prayer until this semester. All of his issues are the same with the exception of two: I can't imagine him ever asking us to be more strict, and he has a serious physical disability having been in a pedestrian accident four years ago. This issue makes us tread even more lightly in our parenting.</p><p>My husband and I are so concerned about using the right strategy here, and believe me , we have tried many and are always looking for more. We have come to the realization that the goals we have for difficult child are just that, our goals. Next year is even scarier because in our high school the Junior year is the most difficult. Currently difficult child is failing one class (by the way, his favorite - where he reports that he is "way ahead of everyone else", and means it!) and making a D in a core class. Even the D is a showstopper when it comes to college acceptance in our state.</p><p>I understand what you mean about grieving. We live in a very small community outside a major metropolitian area. We chose it for its wonderful school system - which is small , with small classes. It was wonderful for easy child - you couldn't have asked for a better educational experience. But guess, what, it just doesn't work for kids who are outside the usual... Our community is wonderful though, after difficult child's accident, and his first 2 month inpatient hospital stay - we never cooked one meal. They were really there for us. As time as passed though,difficult child's other issues have become more and more apparent - and the friends have pulled away one by one. He has been with his same classmates since pre-K and we know all of the parents and other kids. Every day it becomes more and more difficult and bittersweet to watch their development and accomplishment . It also becomes harder to interface with the school and the teachers - we've become difficult parents for them to deal with. (I don't think that is due to change anytime soon).</p><p>I met with the principal last week and asked for more help. She suggested a "study skills' class that operates like a study hall, but is one-on-one with the homebound teacher that worked with difficult child right after his accident. We have our fingers crossed , hoping that a)it will happen and b)difficult child will let it happen. He so desperately wants to be "normal" that anything that hints otherwise is persona non grata with him. I'm hoping his good relationship with this teacher will make it work. (My best memory of her is when she brought two fetal pigs for dissection to our front porch and worked with him so he wouldn't miss out on the 8th grade science experience).</p><p>Sorry for the long response. I just really identified. I'm hoping for the best for all of us!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 40148, member: 3704"] Dear ROE, I am new here, and I felt compelled to respond to your post. Your description of your difficult child could easily be our difficult child. He also is a sophmore, and we've been able to make it on a wing and a prayer until this semester. All of his issues are the same with the exception of two: I can't imagine him ever asking us to be more strict, and he has a serious physical disability having been in a pedestrian accident four years ago. This issue makes us tread even more lightly in our parenting. My husband and I are so concerned about using the right strategy here, and believe me , we have tried many and are always looking for more. We have come to the realization that the goals we have for difficult child are just that, our goals. Next year is even scarier because in our high school the Junior year is the most difficult. Currently difficult child is failing one class (by the way, his favorite - where he reports that he is "way ahead of everyone else", and means it!) and making a D in a core class. Even the D is a showstopper when it comes to college acceptance in our state. I understand what you mean about grieving. We live in a very small community outside a major metropolitian area. We chose it for its wonderful school system - which is small , with small classes. It was wonderful for easy child - you couldn't have asked for a better educational experience. But guess, what, it just doesn't work for kids who are outside the usual... Our community is wonderful though, after difficult child's accident, and his first 2 month inpatient hospital stay - we never cooked one meal. They were really there for us. As time as passed though,difficult child's other issues have become more and more apparent - and the friends have pulled away one by one. He has been with his same classmates since pre-K and we know all of the parents and other kids. Every day it becomes more and more difficult and bittersweet to watch their development and accomplishment . It also becomes harder to interface with the school and the teachers - we've become difficult parents for them to deal with. (I don't think that is due to change anytime soon). I met with the principal last week and asked for more help. She suggested a "study skills' class that operates like a study hall, but is one-on-one with the homebound teacher that worked with difficult child right after his accident. We have our fingers crossed , hoping that a)it will happen and b)difficult child will let it happen. He so desperately wants to be "normal" that anything that hints otherwise is persona non grata with him. I'm hoping his good relationship with this teacher will make it work. (My best memory of her is when she brought two fetal pigs for dissection to our front porch and worked with him so he wouldn't miss out on the 8th grade science experience). Sorry for the long response. I just really identified. I'm hoping for the best for all of us! [/QUOTE]
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