As you get older, do you notice

[mstang67chic]

..that your mouth seems to have a mind of it's own? Star's post on the idiot at the spay clinic got me thinking. I've noticed that in some ways I've gotten braver (or stupider) as I get older. I'm not as afraid to say things to people anymore as I used to be.

Example: a few weeks ago I was at Wallyworld. While I was in line to check out, there was a couple in front of me. There were I'd say late teens...MAYBE early 20's but I'm guessing not old enough to drink. She was dressed ok. He on the other hand, had a t-shirt (normal length....just to the waist) and shorts. But....the shorts were almost all the way down his butt. Normally when guys do that their shirts cover most of all....this one wasn't even close. I stood there for a bit taking it all in and then couldn't help myself. I asked him what the point was in even wearing pants if they were going to be down that far. A lady behind me about choked on her tongue when she heard it. The boy just looked at me all wide eyed and his girlfriend redirected his attention forward. Great...now I get to see his backside again. Yay me. They opened another lane that I went to as well as the lady behind me. We get over there and she let loose laughing. Told me she was so tempted to say something too but didn't have the guts. (This guy's pants were waaaaaaaaay down)

Is this happening to anyone else? I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut anymore. Sometimes husband agrees with me....other times he's mortified.

 

[Calgon_Take_Me_Away]

husband & I are both outspoken type of people. We see someone driving with- their child in the front seat or unbuckled, we'll yell out the window to buckle the child up or in some cases, put the child in their toddler car seat (in Iowa, it's law that kids under 4'9" and a certain weight aren't allowed in the front seat and kids up to a certain height and weight need to be in a booster seat) ~ but it's the ones flagrantly not obeying these laws that get the yell out.

husband is more outspoken than I and being a "big girl" myself, I feel bad for the girls that have fat hanging out under their too tight shirt or low rise jeans. husband is the one that says to "cover the fat up".

 

[mom_to_3]

Yes, I find that I am doing the same thing but I have a few more years on you. I wouldn't normally speak out, or be rude, or even say something like you did to the teen boy. But now?????????????? Yeppers, I would and I do! My biggest pet peeve lately has been the females that wear tops that either they are hanging out of, or are so tight and lightweight they may as well be wearing nothing. I have mortified my daughters while in public when we are near said female and I state, Wow! she must really feel the need to have everyone looking at her breasts! If they are willing to dress that way, I see no reason for them to feel embarrassed by what I say. Makes sense to me.

Another thing that I do and I have been encouraging my daughters to do is to "name it". There have been instances where maybe someone will be unkind and make an underhanded comment and "we" all act like it didn't happen and dance around it. Now I chose to not act like it didn't happen or dance around it. I very pointedly bring it up, name it and ask the person to be accountable for their words. It goes along with my "we teach people how to treat us" campaign.

I should have started this at a much younger age!

 

[Shari]

Wee difficult child walked up to a similarly dressed man at a gas station. touched his arm, said "excuse me sir, your pants are falling off" and went on. He was so proud that he was helpful. I was so proud I managed not to LMAO.

But yes, I find this a problem I have as well. Especially when I'm tired of the roller coaster.

 

[4sumrzn]

I've noticed I open my mouth more as I've gotten older. Not such a good idea on my part. I was at a boxing match in Vegas last month. While standing in line to get a drink......this guy jumped right in front of me & I was next in line. For some reason, I felt the need to look up at the 6'5" (or more) muscle dude & say "excuse me, what are you doing"? He brushed me off with his elbow & I moved in closer & started running my mouth about how rude he was. NOT a very good idea.....he started claiming that I needed to move & I was in his space. I refused to move. His wife/girlfriend finally made him move over. I was NOT a happy person being treated like that, but at the same time....that guy coukld have smashed me in the ground if he wanted to. I'm not so bright I guess.....and my mouth probably needs tape in those situations!

 

[Star*]

I honeslty have been outspoken most of my adult life. I had to be to survive. And on days when I think back about what I considered outspoken, basically I was just trying to survive. So maybe it was more, mis-directed anger or inappropriate verbalizing of my internalizations on how I was being treated. In a word - wrong.

I think (IMVHO) that a great many of us aren't really that outspoken, but we have drawn a line in the sand with our misbehaving children so many times that it has simply become habit (more or less depending on the length of the leash and the "dog") to advocate for what we know or belive is correct.

I can tell you after MY personal life and all the things I survived, I simply can not NOT get involved with women or children or animals that are being abused. For me I saw so much of it with my x, and after therapy and a life of peaceful living the last 12 years - I KNOW the difference in what is right and wrong and I'm not "afraid" any more to stand up for myself or anyone else.

I won't go OUT of my way to get into someone elses' business, and I don't kick off my flip flops and get all rednecky if you invade space I deem mine. I have however been known to give you all 110% of my attention and education FROM such things and I'm not afraid nor will I cower from defending those things and creatures being mistreated.

Personally I really try to live and let live and for the most part with all of us here, after raising our children and KNOWING how it MUST look to the outside world we are probably less judgemental than most, cross that line? Different story. We live it day in and day out.

WE were in the grocery store Sunday and a boy had those huge baggie britches on. He was standing next to DF at the meat counter and the kid with 4' dreads bent over to get a pack of chicken. WHen he did his pants HIT the ground - and DF said - "AND HE DIDN"T HAVE NO UNDER BRITCHES ON." and laughed....he laughed so hard people were coming to look at why this man could NOT stop laughing. The young man left his cart in the next aisle and left. DF was not sorry for laughing - in his mind - he won't say a thing, but if you are going to be THAT stupid you deserve public ridicule an if that ridicule is a 50 year old long haired, crippled, and tattooed biker just howling at your nakit butt - yeah you had it coming.

 

[mrscatinthehat]

I tend to be more verbal on my opinions now also. Not always but I think like it was said once I see something past the line of acceptance poof I am on it. That whole pants thing is just so annoying to me anyway. I have been known to ask if they needed a belt. I mean really I know they make stuff small enough for these kids. ARgh..

beth

 

[Calgon_Take_Me_Away]

4sumrzn ~ it's entertaining when "big" guys think people will back down because of their size.

I got my mouth in trouble, but I still feel for a good reason. We were at BK eating lunch as a family. A female employee who was "challenged" (not sure what diagnosis's she had, but had her worker helping her do her job) spilled a whole bucket of ice on the floor while trying to fill the ice machine. These older teens started laughing and making fun of her which irked me to no end. I made a statement looking straight at my husband about how it must be nice to live in a glass house. They knew I was talking about them and one of them immediately started mouthing back. I told her I wasn't talking to her and she needed to go about her business. Then her mom came over and started a bigger scene having no clue what the issue was to begin with. husband just kept telling them to move on. Then dad came over and joined in ~ it was a family 3 ring circus. The dad kept calling husband out to fight and husband kept waving him on. After many attempts, husband got up (at 6'4" while the dad was maybe 5'6") and followed him out ~ I chased out, stopping at the counter to call the police. husband took on mom, dad, and their daughter all by himself (mom jumping on his back, daughter pulling on his clothes and dad was on the ground getting banged up). After the cops arrived, the mom told husband he better not have AIDS cause his blood was all over them. BK Manager brought out towels for them to wipe themselves off with and husband had a minor scratch that wasn't bleeding ~ all blood came from dad. Both men were arrested for fighting in public and each paid a fine. Later that night I talked with- the BK manager and she didn't even know what had started it ~ I told her and she was grateful to us for sticking up for her employee, but sorry it ended the way it had.

 

[Abbey]

I tend to be a bit outspoken. Imagine that!

I have to stop flipping people off in my car, though. One of these days they'll pull a gun or something.

Abbey

 

[Andy]

Abbey, Remember, you are in a new home. That person you tick off may just be your mother in law's best friend's grandchild and mother in law will introduce you tomorrow while the situation is still fresh in both your minds.

One of my favorite songs is Everyone Dies Famous In A Small Town. You may not know everyone yet, but they probably already know you.

Sporks Ready!!! Be yourself, speak your mind, just know that the person you don't think you know may be placed in your world tomorrow.

I can never think of anything to say - I don't want to draw too much attention because that is what they are looking for. Laughter may be the way I would go, "You look so ridiculous!" because though they can handle critizism which seems to fuel their rebellion, they hate to be laughed at.

For the most part for some reason I still hate the thought of something I say coming back to haunt me.

 

[flutterbee]

A lot of times I really want to say something. But, I realize I have flaws of my own. Who am I to pass judgment?

I would definitely say something to the guy cutting me in line - I don't care how big he is. But, if I'm in line at the grocery store with a full cart and there's a person or two behind me with just a basket, I'll let them in front of me.

If someone is mistreating an animal, I will say something. Sometimes it's delicate. Which is how I ended up with Hydro. I knew he was being neglected, but he belonged to difficult child's friend's dad. He *knows* how I am about animals, so when I called him up and told him I heard he had a cat they didn't want, he knew what was up.

 

[Abbey]

Animals and old people are my weak spots.

When you fly into Vegas you usually fly into the D concourse and have to take the tram to the main concourse. EVERY time I see these sweet old ladies frantically holding onto a bar while these young guys sit in the seats. I imagine it's the same way on a subway.

What annoys me is I'm not generally quick with what to say. It's like 2 hours later and I'll be...DANG IT ALL! I should have said this...

Abbey

 

[Hound dog]

As far as young males with severe cases of droopy drawers.........I don't bother with words. I've been known to walk up to a complete stranger and yank the back of their pants up.

Sorry, but I really really can't stand that.

As for being more outspoken........Well, I'd always speak my mind when I was younger if I felt backed into a corner. But nowdays I swear stuff just comes pouring out of it's own accord.

I do know that my patience level with people is much lower than it used to be. No one seems to have manners anymore. And one of my biggest pet peeves is ill mannered people. It'll set me off everytime. I'm so bad my kids used to "coach" their friends before inviting them over on how they would be expected to behave. Aw heck, they still do. *snort*

These days it seems my kids spend much of their time looking at me with their mouths hanging open.

 

[flutterbee]

I used to be known for opening my mouth. A lot. easy child used to cringe. I swear, the lexapro has taken all the fight outta me.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

 

[muttmeister]

I am definitely getting more outspoken the older I get. I am totally oblivious to a lot of stuff that does directly affect me (baggy pants, boobs hanging out, etc.) as I pretty much figure those people look stupid enough without me getting involved. But if you invade my space, dis somebody else who can't stick up for themselves, or act like a jacka$$ around me, you can expect that I will unleash something in your direction that WILL get your attention whether you want to admit it or not. I would never have done that when I was younger but I'm getting to ther point that life is too short to put up with their bull droppings.

 

[Fran]

Not me. I am shy and retiring and seldom seem abrasive or sarcastic. I'm hardly ever blunt or direct. If you believe that, I can sell you on the ponzi scheme.

 

[mstang67chic]

I post this and before I left the house I think I had two replies. I come home a few hours later and have 13 more replies!!!

Good! I'm glad I'm not the only one losing my vocal filter in life!!!

And Star....had I been at the same store, I would have been right there on the floor next to Warrior Df. OMG!!!! That really IS incredibly stupid!

 

[donna723]

I'm maybe a little more outspoken now than I was when I was younger. I don't have a problem with confronting people one on one but I'd rather avoid it if I can and get what I want in other ways ... I'm sneakier than I used to be. Really, my whole attitude has change in the last 10 years or so.

I was raised to be a doormat by my '50 era doormat mother! I ended up being the one who let people walk all over me, never opened my mouth. worried constantly about what people thought of me, and automatically took the blame for everything, even if it wasn't my fault. But not any more! I went through 20 years of a horrible marriage and getting out of that changed so much about me! I finally grew a backbone and started standing up for myself. Nobody takes advantage of me any more and when I think something is wrong, I speak up ... mostly about work stuff! I just finally got tired of it! Any tolerance, patience or sympathy I ever had is long gone. I don't take anything off of anybody anymore and people treat me differently now because they know I will do something about it! I guess I just don't care anymore!

Fifteen years ago I never thought I would be like this today! Now, if we have a problem at work and everybody else is afraid to speak up, I do ... because I just don't care anymore! The last two supervisors we've had were horrible! Both of them nut jobs in their own right! They all complained in private but nobody else would actually DO anything because they were afraid to, so I did! I filed formal complaints and grievances against both of them ... and I WON! I just got so tired of all the B.S. I'm just not afraid of anyone anymore. When everybody else is afraid to stick their neck out, I DO! What can they do to me? Nothing! Because I just don't care anymore! I'm so proud of ME!

 

[Wiped Out]

I may be getting a bit more that way but for the most part, with people I don't know, I like to avoid confrontations. If someone is being picked on, I will speak up otherwise I tend to think what I want to say but not actually say it.

 

[KTMom91]

I have always had a very fast mouth. Tact has never been one of my strengths, although I AM getting better. Really.