Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Asked daughter to leave home. Dying inside.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 676620" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi EM, so sorry for your situation and your heartache. I have two out there who have similar stories, they were at one time, my best buds, when they were younger. As they grew into teenagers, that's when things became difficult. I think it is a normal thing for young adults to want to live their lives, as they choose. Buck the rules, a bit, a little rebelliousness, is a part of "testing the waters", for some, but then, for others, it becomes a downhill slide.</p><p></p><p>We live in a fast paced world, there is so much out there to "dabble" in. You were smart to set boundaries for your girl, and when she refused to abide by them, have her leave your home. It does not feel right, but our children are meant to grow up and leave the nest. We would like them to leave on good terms, but for some, it is not the case.</p><p> You are very astute to see the risk your other children are in, and make appropriate changes. This sets the record straight, for them as well, that there are house rules that MUST be followed. Safety, respect and consideration for others being right up there.</p><p>I know the feeling of devastation, when we take this course of action. It cuts to the core. After nurturing someone for their whole lives, having them leave us, because of their actions, feels counter-intuitive. But the truth is, EM, most of us have found, that at home, our d cs <em>only get worse.</em> I used to say "I kicked my daughters out." Then I realized, it was not me, <em>it was the choices they were making. </em>In a way, what these kids are saying, is "I want to do what I want to do." which to me translates to "I do not want to live here."</p><p>So, one way to look at this, that helped me, is that our adult children are supposed to go out on their own, and find their way. I know, it is hard, but your daughter would eventually have to launch from under your wings, and live her life. It is just not the kind of launching we imagine.......</p><p>What we go through after, is a grieving period, and you need to feel what you have to feel, and get it out.</p><p>You have come to a good place here, to do that. Many of us have been in the same situation, and have felt the pain of it.</p><p>You are not alone, EM. I am so sorry for your hurting heart.</p><p>You have done the right thing, it doesn't feel right, but it is.</p><p>You matter, you have value.</p><p>One day at a time. Be very, very kind to yourself.</p><p>Keep posting, it really helps. I am glad you have found us.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 676620, member: 19522"] Hi EM, so sorry for your situation and your heartache. I have two out there who have similar stories, they were at one time, my best buds, when they were younger. As they grew into teenagers, that's when things became difficult. I think it is a normal thing for young adults to want to live their lives, as they choose. Buck the rules, a bit, a little rebelliousness, is a part of "testing the waters", for some, but then, for others, it becomes a downhill slide. We live in a fast paced world, there is so much out there to "dabble" in. You were smart to set boundaries for your girl, and when she refused to abide by them, have her leave your home. It does not feel right, but our children are meant to grow up and leave the nest. We would like them to leave on good terms, but for some, it is not the case. You are very astute to see the risk your other children are in, and make appropriate changes. This sets the record straight, for them as well, that there are house rules that MUST be followed. Safety, respect and consideration for others being right up there. I know the feeling of devastation, when we take this course of action. It cuts to the core. After nurturing someone for their whole lives, having them leave us, because of their actions, feels counter-intuitive. But the truth is, EM, most of us have found, that at home, our d cs [I]only get worse.[/I] I used to say "I kicked my daughters out." Then I realized, it was not me, [I]it was the choices they were making. [/I]In a way, what these kids are saying, is "I want to do what I want to do." which to me translates to "I do not want to live here." So, one way to look at this, that helped me, is that our adult children are supposed to go out on their own, and find their way. I know, it is hard, but your daughter would eventually have to launch from under your wings, and live her life. It is just not the kind of launching we imagine....... What we go through after, is a grieving period, and you need to feel what you have to feel, and get it out. You have come to a good place here, to do that. Many of us have been in the same situation, and have felt the pain of it. You are not alone, EM. I am so sorry for your hurting heart. You have done the right thing, it doesn't feel right, but it is. You matter, you have value. One day at a time. Be very, very kind to yourself. Keep posting, it really helps. I am glad you have found us. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Asked daughter to leave home. Dying inside.
Top