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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 640292" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Shiela,</p><p></p><p>There is some very good advice that has been given to you. I too am of the mind set that you need to do what is best for you and your husband. Both of your children are old enough to take care of themselves. It sounds to me like they are both manipulating you into continuing to take care of them and that needs to stop.</p><p></p><p>My son is almost 34 years old and at present time is homeless. My husband and I went down the path of doing everything to try and help him. We too paid for apartments and even purchased a house, all he had to do was hold down a job. He also has 2 beautiful children that he chose to abandon and so much more.................</p><p></p><p>I made the choice to cut him off several years ago. I am 51 and my husband is 62. I came to realize that there was nothing more I could do for my son and I was not going to continue enabling his behavior. My husband had to retire a couple of years ago because he started having Grand Mal seizures (thank God they are under control with medication), so I am the bread winner. While I make a good wage I do not have endless funds. When you say you are paying $200 a week for your son to live in a motel, all I can think of is that is money that you should be using for you and your husband. You need to be concerned about your own future because it's obvious your children are not.</p><p></p><p>Your adult children are no longer your responsibility plain and simple. I know how hard it is to let go but trust me on this, <strong><u><span style="color: #ff0000">you can do it and you should.</span></u></strong> There are many here that have let go and while it hurts like crazy in the beginning there is a joy on the other side of that pain that is so worth it.</p><p></p><p>This does not mean that any of us have stopped loving our adult children it just means that we love them enough to let them go.</p><p>We love ourselves enough to take back our lives and live them to the fullest.</p><p></p><p>There will come a day when you and your husband will not be here. Isn't it better for your adult children to learn how to live without your financial support now while you can still offer emotional support?</p><p></p><p>It is my hope and prayer that you will find the strength to do what you need to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 640292, member: 18516"] Hi Shiela, There is some very good advice that has been given to you. I too am of the mind set that you need to do what is best for you and your husband. Both of your children are old enough to take care of themselves. It sounds to me like they are both manipulating you into continuing to take care of them and that needs to stop. My son is almost 34 years old and at present time is homeless. My husband and I went down the path of doing everything to try and help him. We too paid for apartments and even purchased a house, all he had to do was hold down a job. He also has 2 beautiful children that he chose to abandon and so much more................. I made the choice to cut him off several years ago. I am 51 and my husband is 62. I came to realize that there was nothing more I could do for my son and I was not going to continue enabling his behavior. My husband had to retire a couple of years ago because he started having Grand Mal seizures (thank God they are under control with medication), so I am the bread winner. While I make a good wage I do not have endless funds. When you say you are paying $200 a week for your son to live in a motel, all I can think of is that is money that you should be using for you and your husband. You need to be concerned about your own future because it's obvious your children are not. Your adult children are no longer your responsibility plain and simple. I know how hard it is to let go but trust me on this, [B][U][COLOR=#ff0000]you can do it and you should.[/COLOR][/U][/B] There are many here that have let go and while it hurts like crazy in the beginning there is a joy on the other side of that pain that is so worth it. This does not mean that any of us have stopped loving our adult children it just means that we love them enough to let them go. We love ourselves enough to take back our lives and live them to the fullest. There will come a day when you and your husband will not be here. Isn't it better for your adult children to learn how to live without your financial support now while you can still offer emotional support? It is my hope and prayer that you will find the strength to do what you need to do. [/QUOTE]
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