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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 640423" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Good for you sheila. </p><p></p><p>Remember that often when we begin to cut the strings and stop the money train, our kids up the ante and begin a crusade of guilt and manipulation to keep us doing what they believe they need us to do. Know that that is very, very common behavior for our troubled kids, they presume if they lay on enough guilt we won't change. You will most likely have to fight for your right to have your own life. At this point, for them, it is only words from you, it is likely when the words turn to action, the bad behavior will begin. Don't be surprised if he fails again at out patient and does not get that job. Don't be surprised it if your daughter fails to do anything to move along. I hope they do move ahead, but it is possible they won't. And, they will expect you to alter your plans to take care of them. DON'T DO IT. Stay the course. This is your chance to live your own life and to have your retirement, you and your husband deserve that and really, it sounds as if your husband <em>needs</em> it. Take care of you and your husband, your kids need to take care of themselves. The time is now. </p><p></p><p>You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. </p><p></p><p>May the force be with you!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 640423, member: 13542"] Good for you sheila. Remember that often when we begin to cut the strings and stop the money train, our kids up the ante and begin a crusade of guilt and manipulation to keep us doing what they believe they need us to do. Know that that is very, very common behavior for our troubled kids, they presume if they lay on enough guilt we won't change. You will most likely have to fight for your right to have your own life. At this point, for them, it is only words from you, it is likely when the words turn to action, the bad behavior will begin. Don't be surprised if he fails again at out patient and does not get that job. Don't be surprised it if your daughter fails to do anything to move along. I hope they do move ahead, but it is possible they won't. And, they will expect you to alter your plans to take care of them. DON'T DO IT. Stay the course. This is your chance to live your own life and to have your retirement, you and your husband deserve that and really, it sounds as if your husband [I]needs[/I] it. Take care of you and your husband, your kids need to take care of themselves. The time is now. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. May the force be with you!! [/QUOTE]
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