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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 667865" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Jude, good morning. Your post resonated with me. Last June (2014) my Difficult Child was in jail (again) and his public defender told him to be prepared to get the full four years in prison. He had broken probation multiple times as well. My Difficult Child later told me he lay awake all night long in fear. The next day in court, not only did he not get the full four years, they let him go that day, with four more years probation. That marked his turnaround.</p><p></p><p>I was, like you, very sad and afraid but also resolute that he was going to have to pay the freight for selling drugs twice to an undercover police officer (two felonies) and then breaking probation after he was put on probation for those crimes. At that time, and for the years before that, all he did was dig a deeper hole for himself no matter what anybody tried to say or do. </p><p></p><p>We never know. We can't predict what situation will be the situation that will wake them up and motivate them to start to change. One thing that I think is for sure (at least in my case) was that it wasn't going to be me. Because I had tried EVERYTHING in the whole wide world over and over again to get my son's attention for at least 6 or 7 years (starting back in high school way before things got really bad). </p><p></p><p>I know you don't know what will happen in court. But think about this: the jails everywhere are very overcrowded. Often, they get sentenced and they never serve the sentence. At times I wished my Difficult Child HAD served longer sentences because I could rest when he was in jail and not homeless and drinking and drugging.</p><p></p><p>What will be will be. The buck stops with law enforcement and I think that is a good thing. That said, I know you are his mother and you love him and you don't want to see him in prison. I so understand that too. </p><p></p><p>This is a time for you to feel your true feelings (sadness, grief, fear...deep...) and then work to accept what is. I think for us, this type of "face the music" can be a time of change for us as well.</p><p></p><p>I know you are hurting and I am so sorry for that. But this could be a catalyst for your son. I am hoping and praying that it is. Warm hugs this morning.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 667865, member: 17542"] Jude, good morning. Your post resonated with me. Last June (2014) my Difficult Child was in jail (again) and his public defender told him to be prepared to get the full four years in prison. He had broken probation multiple times as well. My Difficult Child later told me he lay awake all night long in fear. The next day in court, not only did he not get the full four years, they let him go that day, with four more years probation. That marked his turnaround. I was, like you, very sad and afraid but also resolute that he was going to have to pay the freight for selling drugs twice to an undercover police officer (two felonies) and then breaking probation after he was put on probation for those crimes. At that time, and for the years before that, all he did was dig a deeper hole for himself no matter what anybody tried to say or do. We never know. We can't predict what situation will be the situation that will wake them up and motivate them to start to change. One thing that I think is for sure (at least in my case) was that it wasn't going to be me. Because I had tried EVERYTHING in the whole wide world over and over again to get my son's attention for at least 6 or 7 years (starting back in high school way before things got really bad). I know you don't know what will happen in court. But think about this: the jails everywhere are very overcrowded. Often, they get sentenced and they never serve the sentence. At times I wished my Difficult Child HAD served longer sentences because I could rest when he was in jail and not homeless and drinking and drugging. What will be will be. The buck stops with law enforcement and I think that is a good thing. That said, I know you are his mother and you love him and you don't want to see him in prison. I so understand that too. This is a time for you to feel your true feelings (sadness, grief, fear...deep...) and then work to accept what is. I think for us, this type of "face the music" can be a time of change for us as well. I know you are hurting and I am so sorry for that. But this could be a catalyst for your son. I am hoping and praying that it is. Warm hugs this morning. [/QUOTE]
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