OK, this is a more complex topic than it seems. My own understanding of Asperger's and high-functioning autism has had to evolve as we learn more form our own kids.
Now, about lying - ALL KIDS LIE. At some stage. Or they try to. But kids whose social skills are not so automatic, get caught out in a lie far more easily. Over time, getting caught in a lie, especially if it happens almost every time, builds in a conditioned response to not lie. Similarly if lying makes a child feel "icky" because they either fear getting caught, or the internal conflict of truth/non-truth upsets their thinking, they will learn to not lie. To avoid lies. A Pavlovian response at its best.
Now,what kind of lies are there? Again, younger children try to lie with "I didn't do it." This is the simplest lie and therefore easiest to tell. I remember when difficult child 3 was in Grade 3 and I had assured his teacher,
difficult child 3 is autistic, and therefore cannot lie."
The teacher later came back at me and said, "Well, I saw him shove Jack while the kids were waiting in lines. I went up to difficult child 3 and asked him why he had shoved jack,, and he replied, 'I didn't do it,' even though I had seen it with my own eyes. When I told him I had seen it, he still tried to convince me he hadn't done it. So autistic kids CAN lie!"
So I had to modify my own theory. And over time, and observing my older kids, I can see where it comes from.
As kids gain more social skills, their ability to "make up stories" also develops. Now, they also say that a kid with autism has no imagination. I also know that is wrong. If difficult child 3 hadn't been so classically autistic, his ability to write stories would have lost him his diagnosis. As for easy child 2/difficult child 2 - she won a writing competition when she was 12, she writes with incredible detail in her stories. She loves fashion design and even as a very young child (2 years old), would draw intricate detail. So these kids can be creative.
Aspie vs "Aspie-lite" - if you look at the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire, you an see that there is a range of scores. difficult child 3 scores moderate on the scale. difficult child 1 scores a bit better. easy child 2/difficult child 2 scores on the border or "normal" and "mild". Those on the border tend to get the "Aspie-lite" labels.
Diagnosing Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is still subjective, despite tools such as the questionnaire. It all comes down to how the diagnostician defines each trait. Our pediatrician does not believe easy child 2/difficult child 2 is fully Aspie, although his original diagnosis was "she has some Asperger's traits." His main reason for now saying, "She's not Aspie," is "She makes good eye contact with me." But she is an adult, she has taught herself to make eye contact and finds it easier with people she knows well (such as the pediatrician).
Also, there is a difference between Asperger's and high-functioning autism. Part of the problem - the definitions are not static, they are shifting like quicksand at the moment. In our area, it's been made repeatedly clear to us that the difference is - autism as a diagnosis means that at some point, there was a history of language delay. Even though difficult child 3 now scores as normal to above normal with vocabulary, there was a time where his language delay was significant and causing a problem. At 4, he had the language of a 2 year old as assessed by several speech pathologists. difficult child 1, on the other hand, had no history of language delay.
difficult child 3 - loves people, was very outgoing, had no 'stranger danger' fear. easy child 2/difficult child 2 - also no stranger danger fear. Often she would have left the mall willingly with a total stranger, especially a male with facial hair. difficult child 1 - very withdrawn, reserved, hated people looking at him.
Face blindness - difficult child 3 and easy child 2/difficult child 2. Not full face blindness, but partial. difficult child 1 - very good visual memory including for faces.
Creativity - difficult child 3 and easy child 2/difficult child 2 are gifted storytellers and also can write good essays. difficult child 1 - a huge struggle, he cannot mentally multi-task.
Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is very complex. difficult child 3's language delay automatically put him in the autism category. His first diagnosis was "mild-moderate autism spectrum disorder". We were told he would never be able to be educated and would have to go to a special school for autistic or intellectually handicapped kids. However, once his language skills caught up, a re-assessment described him as "high-functioning autism" and finally gave us an IQ score that came close to making sense. But he did not lose the autism diagnosis in favour of Asperger's, because despite being 'normal' with language now, he had that history. he had been language delayed, therefore would always be autistic.
difficult child 1 and easy child 2/difficult child 2 never had the slightest sign of language delay. If anything, they both seemed gifted, especially easy child 2/difficult child 2. Verbally she would chatter non-stop. An early talker, very capable. As a result, the autism label will not be applied to them.
But here is where it gets complicated - surely Asperger's is a form of high-functioning autism? Yes, it is, but it is perhaps better to look at the umbrella of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and say, "Asperger's is a form of high-functioning Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)" otherwise we find ourselves inside a metaphorical hall of mirrors. That is the direction I've taken in trying to wrap my head around my kids.
In terms of eventual capability, you would expect that difficult child 1 with Asperger's would have a better prognosis than his autistic baby brother. But in fact it seems to be going the other way. difficult child 1 has a brain but only wants to work with his hands. At the moment he has no job although he's been doing some labouring work for a man from his church. difficult child 1 is married, but the relationship is very much parent-child at times. difficult child 3, on the other hand, is gifted with computers and one way or another will find an easy career path in technology. He's a better problem-solver than difficult child 1 and also better within his field, than difficult child 1 is within his field. difficult child 1 is better socially than his little brother, but that is all. difficult child 1 is quite badly impaired when it comes to personal organisation, while GF3 is really quite organised.
Back to lying - it helps if you analyse the lie, and analyse what makes a successful difficult child lie and what makes an unsuccessful lie. What is his pay-off for lying? What is his punishment? How do you handle it?
We did go through a stage where difficult child 1 was stealing form me and lying about where the money (or toys) had come from. This went on for over a year before he got badly sprung. The consequences were too much for him to continue. He finally realised how much he had hurt me (and thereby, himself) and never stole again.
Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids are generally very law-abiding. Bt the laws they follow are the law as they understand them to be. This includes the 11th commandment - "Thou shalt not get caught".
I hope this helps explain thins a bit more.
We are dealing with complex organisms and the answer is not always so simple. But they are logical, and tat logic can be a tool you can use, to stay one step ahead.
Marg
