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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
At a crossroads, need advice please
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 656575" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>LMS - Oh I feel for your dilemma. I totally understand wanting to really help him. I think however him coming home is a bad idea for a couple of reasons. First to be successful he should complete the program he is in... how long is it usually. I think he needs to stay and finish his time there... he is getting so he doesnt like it there. I think that is pretty normal and may be the start of him falling back into old ways. So if he is really going to be successful he needs to get through this period of doubt and wanting to go backwards. </p><p></p><p>Secondly I really think he needs to find his own recovery. You being the cop and trying to control his use, and checking on him will not be good for your relationship or his recovery. I just think it sets up this strange dynamic between us as parents and them as our adult children. It is a parent/young child dynamic rather than parent/adult child dynamic. It puts you in an awful position, one you have been in before and really dont want to be in now. He has to face his own demons.</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 656575, member: 15801"] LMS - Oh I feel for your dilemma. I totally understand wanting to really help him. I think however him coming home is a bad idea for a couple of reasons. First to be successful he should complete the program he is in... how long is it usually. I think he needs to stay and finish his time there... he is getting so he doesnt like it there. I think that is pretty normal and may be the start of him falling back into old ways. So if he is really going to be successful he needs to get through this period of doubt and wanting to go backwards. Secondly I really think he needs to find his own recovery. You being the cop and trying to control his use, and checking on him will not be good for your relationship or his recovery. I just think it sets up this strange dynamic between us as parents and them as our adult children. It is a parent/young child dynamic rather than parent/adult child dynamic. It puts you in an awful position, one you have been in before and really dont want to be in now. He has to face his own demons. Hugs. TL [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
At a crossroads, need advice please
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