We took daughter to her first Child psychiatric appointment. yesterday. We were in the office for not more than 25 minutes total. First the Child Psychiatrist spoke to husband (husband said about 2 sentences about getting a tutor to free up time for myself and have less aggravation) and myself for about 15 minutes. Then she saw daughter for 5 minutes and then husband and I went in again with daughter for another 5 minutes. I told the doctor about daughter's history. I went into detail about her assessment in Nursery school (how her teacher was concerned about her behavior and not listening). The outcome of the assessment (social worker, PT therapist and Occupational Therapist (OT) therapist) was basically to give daughter PT for her gait and toe walking/shuffeling. I went on to tell the doctor about the MRI done at the neurologist when she was between 3-4 yrs. old and daughter's bad reaction to the chloral hydrate given to her to fall asleep on two occasions (she was given it twice because a blunder on the reception's part of not having the MRI approved through insurance the first time we went for the MRI.) (My husband refused to let them give daughter a sleep EEG because of her bad reaction to the chloral hydrate.) I also told the doctor about daughter's pediatrician referring daughter to a developmental pediatrician. I told her of daughter's increasing bad behavior, impulsiveness, violence against me and DS, and destruction of property. She had cracked Mom's windshield in her car because she was squirming around in the front seat and putting her feet up on the dashboard while we were waiting at a store for my brother to come out. She has also pinched holes in the moulding near the window on the door. My Mom has about 40-50 bubbles in the leather. daughter has also carved X's on the exterior paint. (This week, daughter pinched or made indentations/bubbles in the leather moulding of our new Lexus SUV.) daughter recently broke a panel of the vertical blinds in her room in 5 places. She recently cut her bangs up to her scalp. She drew hearts on her bedroom wall in purple permanent marker. daughter also has had encopresis on and off since its onset last September and that daughter has nocturnal enuresis. I mentioned the daily arguments and frustration of daughter not sitting down to do her homework as expected and that it generally takes 5 hours to complete one hour's worth of homework. These are only some of the things I told the doctor that I could think of at the top of my head. I also said daughter does not listen to a word that I say and that she herself says she enjoys getting on my nerves. I went on to explain that husband and I are not on the same page about discipline and that daughter is getting a mixed message. I also explained that I am at my wits end and do not know where else to turn and how to deal with daughter's behavior and that I am taking Ativan on occasion to calm my nerves and to help me cope. At first the doctor said that we should have daughter take some 3-hour test which was bascially an IQ test. Then she wanted to receive reports from the Neurologist and Developmental Pediatrician. She also wanted to speak to daughter's pychologist. The doctor then had daughter in for about 5 minutes. I do not know what they talked about. I was amazed when we were called in so soon after her going in. (by the way, daughter basically behaved well in the doctor's office. The doctor did find daughter a bit manipulative in bringing attention to herself and taking charge of the whole conversation while we were there.) She went on to say that she thought that the family as a unit should go into Family Therapy and that we needed to change the family dynamic. Well, duh, hello???????, that is what we have been doing since November!!!!!! Basically, we take daughter to the therapy appts. When daughter is unable to make the weekly appointment. with us because of some activity, one of us goes individually to speak to the therapist. husband and I have also been to the therapist together with-o daughter present. I proceeded to tell the doctor that husband does not discipline daughter for her behavior towards me and my mother. He does not scold daughter for destroying property. He says he will paint the wall, the car, replace the windshield and moulding for my mother, etc. I said that that was not sending the right message to daughter. By that type of response, he was letting daughter know that what she was doing was ok. The doctor did not want to speculate on what was right or wrong. She said that was not her job. She did not say she would test for ADHD or ODD and that she did not think she had ADHD. She said since daughter's school wasn't calling us up every day complaining about daughter and because daughter was an A and B student, she did not think daughter had ADHD. (In her 5 minutes of talking to daughter she found her to be smart as wsll as manipulative.) Well, I asked what about ODD? She said not to even go there yet. I asked about medication. She said there were medications, but she would be hesitant about giving daughter medication because of daughter's sensitive or bad reaction to the chloral hydrate medication given to her when she was younger to put her out for the MRI. The doctor left off saying that we did not need to make another appointment. with her. She made no further mention of having copies of reports sent to her or of having her tested for 3 hours. I feel totally unvalidated and at a loss. husband left the office grinning like the chesire cat because he felt like he won and daughter did not have to go on medications. Am I nuts or what? Can you assess in a half hour that daughter is not ADHD or ODD or some other mood disorder? Are my concerns not real or valid? I feel my daughter will not be helped and that her behavior will become worse. I won't be able to see the psychologist until after Easter vacation. I would like to tell her about how I was disappointed with the Child Psychiatrist appointment. We have an appointment. with the Pediatric Gastroenterologist tomorrow concerning the encopresis. I do not see how family therapy is going to help daughter if husband is not on board with the plan.