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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 723529" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hospicenurse, it will help you considerably if you stop that line of thinking now.......looking for what you did wrong is a waste of time and will only serve to keep you stuck in guilt. Your son went off the rails, so did my daughter, so did all of the adult kids on this forum.....we didn't cause it, nor can we control or fix it. It'll make your own path easier to let go of trying to understand where you went wrong.</p><p></p><p>It appears your son has some kind of mental or emotional issue.....another resource you may want to explore is NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, you can access them online and they have chapters in most cities. They offer an excellent course for us parents which will provide you with information, guidance, support and resources for you <em><u>and</u></em> for your son. Give them a call if that feels appropriate. I took one of their courses and it was extremely helpful. </p><p></p><p>I raised my granddaughter too because my daughter, although considerably older than your son, has some kind of conduct disorder or mental illness (refuses to get help) and could not be an appropriate nor healthy parent. It is difficult to learn to detach, but at a point, it becomes necessary for OUR health and well being because our kids can keep us firmly placed on a hamster wheel spinning relentlessly out of control. </p><p></p><p>Find a support system for yourself. Read thru the stories of how other parents navigated thru this, you'll see many similarities. Take care of yourself, your husband and your little granddaughter. Learn to set strong boundaries around your son's behavior. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there, you're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 723529, member: 13542"] Hospicenurse, it will help you considerably if you stop that line of thinking now.......looking for what you did wrong is a waste of time and will only serve to keep you stuck in guilt. Your son went off the rails, so did my daughter, so did all of the adult kids on this forum.....we didn't cause it, nor can we control or fix it. It'll make your own path easier to let go of trying to understand where you went wrong. It appears your son has some kind of mental or emotional issue.....another resource you may want to explore is NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, you can access them online and they have chapters in most cities. They offer an excellent course for us parents which will provide you with information, guidance, support and resources for you [I][U]and[/U][/I] for your son. Give them a call if that feels appropriate. I took one of their courses and it was extremely helpful. I raised my granddaughter too because my daughter, although considerably older than your son, has some kind of conduct disorder or mental illness (refuses to get help) and could not be an appropriate nor healthy parent. It is difficult to learn to detach, but at a point, it becomes necessary for OUR health and well being because our kids can keep us firmly placed on a hamster wheel spinning relentlessly out of control. Find a support system for yourself. Read thru the stories of how other parents navigated thru this, you'll see many similarities. Take care of yourself, your husband and your little granddaughter. Learn to set strong boundaries around your son's behavior. Hang in there, you're not alone. [/QUOTE]
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