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Parent Emeritus
At the end of my rope and just lost...
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 630167" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>This is an awesome list! and totally reasonable.</p><p></p><p>Why are you backing down from it?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes. I agree with this too (if it helps take the sting out of it, I'll tell you that I DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS WRONG with most of the vignettes inf Codependent no More. I was that far gone...it is laughable now.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yup. This is a totally reasonable stand for any self-respecting person. He will find that same rule at the houses of friends, their parents, new girlfriends, at halfway houses, in jail, in dorms, and yes, even on the street. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is true. Nothing will get better til you change.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This too, sadly, is true.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Kathy wouldn't, apparently, and neither should you. That is just plain silly. He says he is a young man and he needs money...that is so. He needs a job. Otherwise...no fun. No treats. and ultimately, no place to live. He is missing a very critical detail (that he has to work for a living)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>None of us do. And yet many of our sons are. And, my friend, there is a large gap between the place where you kick him out and the place where he is homeless. What happens in that gap is in his control. He can find a job where he lives in. He can find a job that will pay rent. He can share rooms. If he is ill he can get SSI and foodstamps. He can work for the peace corp. You kicking him out (which I would rephrase as "him choosing not to do the basics necessary to stay and therefore leaving") does not equal him being homeless...unless he chooses that.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry sorry sorry beyound your imagining that you are in this situation. You are smart to post. You also sound very well defended...try to open your mind and your ears. You know there is something terribly wrong with what is going on and with how you are handling it...that is why you are here.</p><p></p><p>Hugs in all seriousness,</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 630167, member: 17269"] This is an awesome list! and totally reasonable. Why are you backing down from it? I agree Yes. I agree with this too (if it helps take the sting out of it, I'll tell you that I DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS WRONG with most of the vignettes inf Codependent no More. I was that far gone...it is laughable now. Yup. This is a totally reasonable stand for any self-respecting person. He will find that same rule at the houses of friends, their parents, new girlfriends, at halfway houses, in jail, in dorms, and yes, even on the street. This is true. Nothing will get better til you change. This too, sadly, is true. Kathy wouldn't, apparently, and neither should you. That is just plain silly. He says he is a young man and he needs money...that is so. He needs a job. Otherwise...no fun. No treats. and ultimately, no place to live. He is missing a very critical detail (that he has to work for a living) None of us do. And yet many of our sons are. And, my friend, there is a large gap between the place where you kick him out and the place where he is homeless. What happens in that gap is in his control. He can find a job where he lives in. He can find a job that will pay rent. He can share rooms. If he is ill he can get SSI and foodstamps. He can work for the peace corp. You kicking him out (which I would rephrase as "him choosing not to do the basics necessary to stay and therefore leaving") does not equal him being homeless...unless he chooses that. I am sorry sorry sorry beyound your imagining that you are in this situation. You are smart to post. You also sound very well defended...try to open your mind and your ears. You know there is something terribly wrong with what is going on and with how you are handling it...that is why you are here. Hugs in all seriousness, Echo [/QUOTE]
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At the end of my rope and just lost...
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