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Parent Emeritus
At the ER again. Backslide for G.F.G
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 639047" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Thank you Dstc for incredibly valuable insight and point of views again.</p><p></p><p>Some of the stuff he burnt does have a link to his trauma. Sport awards or mementoes from that time frame, some achieved together with people who hurt him and so on. But also stuff from other sports and earlier times, music school material (but that could have been something he considered rubbish he doesn't need anymore, and that actually burns, most of the sport stuff didn't burn that well even with avid helping of gasoline), some school stuff (of course school was traumatic too), but also some family related stuff. I think that what most got to husband were Technical Legos he and difficult child used to build together before difficult child hit his teens. Then again, while we are close knit family and difficult child is very attached to us and loves us and while he has been very loved child always, we do have our dysfunctionalities and I and husband have also really screwed up big time in ways that have in doubt been traumatic to difficult child.</p><p></p><p>And he didn't burn anything he actually may need, like diplomas, certificates, other paper work or anything like that.</p><p></p><p>But can't help but wonder if he was trying burn away his whole childhood, though he didn't take and burn anything from the attic where I have put away many mementoes of him as a kid, just his room, which is rather bare right now.</p><p></p><p>Today he has been calm and in fact rather pleasant. We are having Father's Day today, he had an appropriate present for husband and he and easy child took husband breakfast to the bed and all that stuff. He even got his atheistic butt to church with us, we have congregation counsel elections today and he is still a member if not practising nor believing one and father in law is a candidate. And there are certain rather heated topics in our congregation difficult child does have strong opinions on (minority/majority stuff and how to allocate money used to services for both.) Dinner at in-laws is still ahead of us, I'm sure difficult child wants to go for father in law, who he absolutely adores, but as those who remember more about our situation know, mother in law and difficult child at anything but at his best possible condition can be gruesome. Though she has lately been so busy at being angry (and total witch) to one of her own daughters, so I haven't been her lightning rod for few months now, so maybe she doesn't attack difficult child either (difficult child usually gets thrown under the truck, when she doesn't dare to attack me, but wants to make me suffer.) Though mother in law has, to my knowledge, been perfectly nice (well, totally indifferent, but that is her perfectly nice when it comes to her blacksheep), now that difficult child has been around and stop by or when she has been here. And she has been totally okay with these new developments after we did assure her that difficult child's 'concussion' hasn't rendered him to the drooling imbecile (okay, that was not nice from me, she does care about difficult child, on her own way) but she tends to ramp up in big way for special occasions and family festive.</p><p></p><p>Guide Me: difficult child's main diagnose is PTSD, so definitely acquired rather than some innate biological problem. Of course the environmental cause doesn't change how the actual brain chemicals act to cause the symptoms and so also same medications etc. can be used notwithstanding the cause. Though for difficult child SSRIs were sold by his psychiatrist as something to make his brains more flexible so that the therapy would work better. Of course he did decide to keep a break from therapy since and starting again is an issue. The recommended treatment for him still is intensive exposure therapy with medications to support that but his life situation is complicating things.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has experienced some major trauma; some we do know about, some likely not. We do know about major incident when he was 16, which started the real deterioration for him and we for example do know he was bullied badly at school and neighbourhood. It was daily, both physical and mental, and he was totally isolated and we do know at least one incident that was life threatening; not that other kids were likely purposely trying to kill him and likely difficult child didn't really understand how huge the danger was either, though he was scared. It was one of those fully clothed cold bathes difficult child fancies in icy watered rivers occasionally (and OMG, did I just try to crack (a lousy) joke about that, I think I may be the more insane one in this house...) But how much of everything he has told to us, is the question. And how much did he tell to his therapist, when he was still at therapy. And of course he hasn't really told us almost anything about what happened when he was 16, we learnt from it from elsewhere and it has been more that he hasn't denied it (of course with evidence there is, it would be difficult to deny.)</p><p></p><p>We did talk with husband about trying to talk with difficult child and proposing the possibility of citing personal reasons and taking rest of the season off. Staying here (yes, ugh!), finding the therapist and concentrating on his mental health. Yes, it could be difficult to get again going with his sport career after that, but these kind of bumpy seasons are not good either. Not to mention that sports shouldn't be his main concern (but they are, so not much point trying to argue about that with him.) Others have taken time off for different personal reasons and while most have never came back to top level, some are, so it is not impossible to do. While he is under contract, they will surely let him go, if he wants to dissolve the contract for mental health reasons. He would even be paid by his athletic insurance for a while and we can support him for the rest.</p><p></p><p>But to be honest, neither of us truly believes that difficult child will take that offer.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 639047, member: 14557"] Thank you Dstc for incredibly valuable insight and point of views again. Some of the stuff he burnt does have a link to his trauma. Sport awards or mementoes from that time frame, some achieved together with people who hurt him and so on. But also stuff from other sports and earlier times, music school material (but that could have been something he considered rubbish he doesn't need anymore, and that actually burns, most of the sport stuff didn't burn that well even with avid helping of gasoline), some school stuff (of course school was traumatic too), but also some family related stuff. I think that what most got to husband were Technical Legos he and difficult child used to build together before difficult child hit his teens. Then again, while we are close knit family and difficult child is very attached to us and loves us and while he has been very loved child always, we do have our dysfunctionalities and I and husband have also really screwed up big time in ways that have in doubt been traumatic to difficult child. And he didn't burn anything he actually may need, like diplomas, certificates, other paper work or anything like that. But can't help but wonder if he was trying burn away his whole childhood, though he didn't take and burn anything from the attic where I have put away many mementoes of him as a kid, just his room, which is rather bare right now. Today he has been calm and in fact rather pleasant. We are having Father's Day today, he had an appropriate present for husband and he and easy child took husband breakfast to the bed and all that stuff. He even got his atheistic butt to church with us, we have congregation counsel elections today and he is still a member if not practising nor believing one and father in law is a candidate. And there are certain rather heated topics in our congregation difficult child does have strong opinions on (minority/majority stuff and how to allocate money used to services for both.) Dinner at in-laws is still ahead of us, I'm sure difficult child wants to go for father in law, who he absolutely adores, but as those who remember more about our situation know, mother in law and difficult child at anything but at his best possible condition can be gruesome. Though she has lately been so busy at being angry (and total witch) to one of her own daughters, so I haven't been her lightning rod for few months now, so maybe she doesn't attack difficult child either (difficult child usually gets thrown under the truck, when she doesn't dare to attack me, but wants to make me suffer.) Though mother in law has, to my knowledge, been perfectly nice (well, totally indifferent, but that is her perfectly nice when it comes to her blacksheep), now that difficult child has been around and stop by or when she has been here. And she has been totally okay with these new developments after we did assure her that difficult child's 'concussion' hasn't rendered him to the drooling imbecile (okay, that was not nice from me, she does care about difficult child, on her own way) but she tends to ramp up in big way for special occasions and family festive. Guide Me: difficult child's main diagnose is PTSD, so definitely acquired rather than some innate biological problem. Of course the environmental cause doesn't change how the actual brain chemicals act to cause the symptoms and so also same medications etc. can be used notwithstanding the cause. Though for difficult child SSRIs were sold by his psychiatrist as something to make his brains more flexible so that the therapy would work better. Of course he did decide to keep a break from therapy since and starting again is an issue. The recommended treatment for him still is intensive exposure therapy with medications to support that but his life situation is complicating things. difficult child has experienced some major trauma; some we do know about, some likely not. We do know about major incident when he was 16, which started the real deterioration for him and we for example do know he was bullied badly at school and neighbourhood. It was daily, both physical and mental, and he was totally isolated and we do know at least one incident that was life threatening; not that other kids were likely purposely trying to kill him and likely difficult child didn't really understand how huge the danger was either, though he was scared. It was one of those fully clothed cold bathes difficult child fancies in icy watered rivers occasionally (and OMG, did I just try to crack (a lousy) joke about that, I think I may be the more insane one in this house...) But how much of everything he has told to us, is the question. And how much did he tell to his therapist, when he was still at therapy. And of course he hasn't really told us almost anything about what happened when he was 16, we learnt from it from elsewhere and it has been more that he hasn't denied it (of course with evidence there is, it would be difficult to deny.) We did talk with husband about trying to talk with difficult child and proposing the possibility of citing personal reasons and taking rest of the season off. Staying here (yes, ugh!), finding the therapist and concentrating on his mental health. Yes, it could be difficult to get again going with his sport career after that, but these kind of bumpy seasons are not good either. Not to mention that sports shouldn't be his main concern (but they are, so not much point trying to argue about that with him.) Others have taken time off for different personal reasons and while most have never came back to top level, some are, so it is not impossible to do. While he is under contract, they will surely let him go, if he wants to dissolve the contract for mental health reasons. He would even be paid by his athletic insurance for a while and we can support him for the rest. But to be honest, neither of us truly believes that difficult child will take that offer. [/QUOTE]
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At the ER again. Backslide for G.F.G
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