At the hospital

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mstang67chic, Feb 21, 2010.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    mother in law is.......not good. One side of her heart is greatly enlarged, she's swollen up like a balloon, her lungs are basically shot and I think we're at the end. The doctor and husband want to give her one more the doctor is doing something for 24 hours ending tomorrown morning. After that.....husband will have them disconnect the vent and discontinue treatment assuming that she makes it till then. There is a chance of cardiac failure and if that happens, husband had said to let her go.

    husband is really the one I'm worried about. He's taking this so hard, playing the would have/should have/could have game and beating himself up about every single thing. Logically he knows it's the end but he is all heart and it's tearing him up.

    We'll be staying up here all night and then .....well...

    husband can't bring himself to go further than the ICU waiting room right now. We'll run home a bit later and gather a few things and then come back up to set up camp in the waiting room. I have the laptop with me and will update when I can but I've been keeping close to husband. I was going to run home by myself to grab some things but he doesn't want me to leave him. If I go, he goes.

    If the 24 hours doesn't help (and I honestly don't expect it to), husband will have them turn off the vent and discontinue treatment. Once that happens....we really don't know how long it will take. As bad of shape her heart and lungs are, you would think it would be soon but who knows. Once it happens though, we'll be taking her down to Kentucky where she is from. I'll keep in touch by text with a few of you but I may be off for a while.

    Like I said, I'll update when I can.
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    So sorry to hear this...

    Hope husband will not blame himself too much.

    I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending thoughts and prayers - hugs to H.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Stang. Im so very sorry. I cannot imagine B's pain.

    You are doing the right thing just being there for him. Its hard to see these big men in pain. I will be keeping you guys in my prayers.
  5. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I cannot even imagine having to make that decision, hugs. and my thoughts are with you.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sending may warm gentle (((hugs))) for both you and husband. It does sound as if your mother in law is at the end. Hopefully if that is the case she is able to pass easily and quickly. You're in my prayers.
  7. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Mustang - I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending many warm thoughts your way, especially for husband. {{{hugs}}}
  8. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Sorry to hear all this is going on........ hoping husband can get some time to process his mother's condition and realize that her body is giving out and he had nothing to do with that........ thinking of you as you make decisions and move forward........
  9. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    So very sorry to hear this, Stang. Sending lots of good thoughts as you and husband get through this.

  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending many hugs and lots of prayers. I'm so sorry.
  11. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    So very sorry to hear things are deteriorating, 'Stang. This is a hard thing to go through, and something we all have to face eventually. I hope your husband is able to find strength from all the great support you're giving him. And I hope mother in law does not suffer and finds a peaceful end soon. Hugs to all of you.
  12. julie

    julie New Member

    I just wanted u to know I am praying for you, your mother in law and husband.been there done that it is so hard.Best advice I can give is have no regrets.Still it is such a hard time anytime you r or r loosing someone u love sooooo much.Even when u r prepared, ur never ready...Sending cyber hugs.Julie
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. Sending prayers and support.
  14. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'm adding my prayers and support to the others. Give husband a big {{{hug}}} for me.
  15. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and prayers for strength and peace.
  16. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Oh, 'Stang! I'm so sorry. All of us will be thinking of you and your husband. I wish he could stop beating himself up. I don't see any cause for guilt here. If you feel a chill in the hospital tonight, please know that our arms are around you, trying to keep you warm.
  17. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    'stang, so sorry to hear how much husband is suffering. I hope mother in law is able to move on peacefully. She, husband and the whole family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  18. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    It's 11:08am and we're still waiting to talk to the doctor. According to the nurse, they had to give mother in law more medication to stabilize her blood pressure. Without it, her BiPolar (BP) drops significantly and she's now on 3 different medications.

    husband wants to hear a 100% for sure diagnosis/explanation/this is what you should do but he just won't get it. He knows this but he's grasping at anything right now and emotionally, just doesn't want to make the decision. He KNOWS, he really does but he's hurting.

    I'm hoping though that once they turn off the vent and stop the medications, that things will happen quickly for mother in law's sake as well as husband and his sibs. They are all here as are spouses....we're just waiting at this point, to speak to the doctor, make that final decision and follow through. My sister in law's and I are trying to quietly discuss things that need to be discussed but that are upsetting to our guys. husband's sister is realistic in regards to what will happen and what needs to be done but we're trying to save her the emotional koi too.

    So....we wait. But...I figure this week is going to be all about mother in law. We will be going to Kentucky....just don't know when or for how long at this point.

    Thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers and good thoughts. I've mentioned it to husband but haven't shown him. I can't even show him a thinking of you text from friends without him losing it....this thread would make him keel over. But it is greatly appreciated....thank you!
  19. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am so sorry for the waiting and the sadness. I will be thinking of your family and hoping for the best.
  20. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Stang & Unkley B,

    You are both in our hearts and prayers today, as always. For the difficult task that lays ahead for you all we send you all the strength you'll need to get through the days ahead. Our thoughts and love are with you.

    Star & DF