mstang67chic
Going Green
husband and his sibs are talking to the doctor now and have decided to turn off the vent and stop all medications. Her passing is estimated to be within an hour of that happening.
At the hospital
- Thread starter mstang67chic
- Start date
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Oh sweetie. Hugs. Big hugs. 
GoingNorth
Crazy Cat Lady
Oh 'Stang. Such a hard decision to have to make. You and husband and the rest of the family are in my thoughts.
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
'Stang. I'm so very sorry. You are all in my thoughts and prayers at this most difficult time.
mstang67chic
Going Green
OMG!
The doctor husband and sibs talked to today is a different one than the one husband made the first 24 hour agreement with. After making the decision to suspend treatment and thinking about it all last night and today until they spoke with today's doctor......the doctor decided to give mother in law another 24-48 hours. They discontinued the sedative this morning at 4 and this doctor wants to give her time to come out of days worth of sedation to see what kind of brain function she has so they can make sure. Again. As of this afternoon, she has no gag reflex, no blink reflex and hasn't so much as batted an eyelash in a couple of days. She produced a bit of urine this morning but none since. If she's moved onto her right side, her stats drop and she's on three different medications to keep her blood pressure UP. I'm so angry with this doctor. I understand the motivation but honestly....nothing will change. And...all we are doing is delaying the inevitable as well as dragging things out for husband and his sibs. But....the positive side of this...husband seems to be doing better. I hate that he has to endure at least another day of the waiting but he seems to be more accepting of all of this.
Sigh.
So....we went home to get clean clothes, some rest and bathe (LOL) and will go back up to confer with the genius doctor around noon tomorrow. As of now, the plan from today will now more than likely take place tomorrow. But...who knows what will change.
The doctor husband and sibs talked to today is a different one than the one husband made the first 24 hour agreement with. After making the decision to suspend treatment and thinking about it all last night and today until they spoke with today's doctor......the doctor decided to give mother in law another 24-48 hours. They discontinued the sedative this morning at 4 and this doctor wants to give her time to come out of days worth of sedation to see what kind of brain function she has so they can make sure. Again. As of this afternoon, she has no gag reflex, no blink reflex and hasn't so much as batted an eyelash in a couple of days. She produced a bit of urine this morning but none since. If she's moved onto her right side, her stats drop and she's on three different medications to keep her blood pressure UP. I'm so angry with this doctor. I understand the motivation but honestly....nothing will change. And...all we are doing is delaying the inevitable as well as dragging things out for husband and his sibs. But....the positive side of this...husband seems to be doing better. I hate that he has to endure at least another day of the waiting but he seems to be more accepting of all of this.
Sigh.
So....we went home to get clean clothes, some rest and bathe (LOL) and will go back up to confer with the genius doctor around noon tomorrow. As of now, the plan from today will now more than likely take place tomorrow. But...who knows what will change.
mstang67chic
Going Green
Ordinarily I would agree with you however......this had already been discussed in detail with the other doctor. This one came into it new, did a 1/2 hour assessment and decided to give the family even more time to sit and dwell. And, as a matter of fact, the nurse just called husband. mother in law's blood pressure has dropped again and she's maxed out on her BiPolar (BP) medications. To me, nothing is going to change....everyone agrees on this. It's just yet one more "let's make sure" when it's obvious to anyone that it's time.
GoingNorth
Crazy Cat Lady
Some docs are just really uncomfortable with DNRs and stuff. They feel like they are failing as doctors if they don't employ every extreme measure out there. This can be a real issue if the hospital is affiliated with a religious organization that doesn't believe in not taking extreme measures.
We had problems with the hospital that husband died at, and that despite his not only having and advanced directive in place, but also having made his wishes clear in his own voice a few days before he died.
I still had to insist, along with his personal doctors, that he not be placed back on the vent when he began to fail. Remember that you can overrule the docs. They work for you, not the other way around.
And, I agree with you: this is just dragging out the inevitable and it is unfair to everyone involved, mother in law included.
We had problems with the hospital that husband died at, and that despite his not only having and advanced directive in place, but also having made his wishes clear in his own voice a few days before he died.
I still had to insist, along with his personal doctors, that he not be placed back on the vent when he began to fail. Remember that you can overrule the docs. They work for you, not the other way around.
And, I agree with you: this is just dragging out the inevitable and it is unfair to everyone involved, mother in law included.
