MockTertl
At Wit's End...
My daughter is 20 now - at 16 she became a danger to her younger
sisters, refused help and my resources were tapped so I had to send
her to live with her dad who made things worse for her. She is back
home now because she is not welcome in anyone else's home with her
daily crises and inability to control herself. She was diagnosed with
ODD and depression in 2000. My pregnancy was horrendous, breast
feeding her was a horrific experience, she was a inconsolable baby,
was told not to return to the school she attended kindergarten in,
suffered night terrors and I had to learn to bear hug and restrain her
as she got older to prevent her from hurting herself and others.
Before she was big/heavy enough I had to remove her from a booster
seat as it was safer than her unrestraining herself while the car was
in motion. I had to use the child locks to prevent her from opening
the doors while I was driving and sometimes she would get violent
while I was behind the wheel, kicking, hitting and screaming at me.
To this day I never know what will set her off, nor do her sisters.
We walk on eggshells - the simplest things can become crises.
Recently she pushed her boyfriend over the edge so far he felt it
necessary to exit a moving car with her driving and the ambulance and
police had to be called. I told her he was no longer welcome to stay
in my home. Personally I feel it is horrible for one person to push
someone else so far over the edge they feel they have to endanger
their life to get away and equally as bad that one actually follows
through with it! I told her that she should concentrate on getting
the help she needs to be less chaotic and angry and he should work on
the help he needs, whatever it is, before they consider embarking on a
relationship. This happened Christmas Day. Since then she has been
moping, not showered and blew up at me over a dish that clattered on
the counter yesterday. I have been keeping my contact with her and
words very minimal as I do not know what might set her off, or what I
can say that won't be construed as a confrontation by her causing her
to yell and scream - since she'll do this even if I don't say
anything. Being 20 I can't force her to stay here but I did make it
clear my expectation is for her to get counseling as soon as she is
added to medicaid. I'm not sure how to approach her, what to say
anymore. My hope is that as these explosions/crises occur I can vent
here and receive some constructive assistance in what responses I
should return with. For instance, when she blows up in a rampage as
she has recently and breaks doors and slams and storms and screams:
should I call the police to have them remove her until she is calm? I
can't financially afford the damage she does and she terribly upsets
her sisters with this behavior.
sisters, refused help and my resources were tapped so I had to send
her to live with her dad who made things worse for her. She is back
home now because she is not welcome in anyone else's home with her
daily crises and inability to control herself. She was diagnosed with
ODD and depression in 2000. My pregnancy was horrendous, breast
feeding her was a horrific experience, she was a inconsolable baby,
was told not to return to the school she attended kindergarten in,
suffered night terrors and I had to learn to bear hug and restrain her
as she got older to prevent her from hurting herself and others.
Before she was big/heavy enough I had to remove her from a booster
seat as it was safer than her unrestraining herself while the car was
in motion. I had to use the child locks to prevent her from opening
the doors while I was driving and sometimes she would get violent
while I was behind the wheel, kicking, hitting and screaming at me.
To this day I never know what will set her off, nor do her sisters.
We walk on eggshells - the simplest things can become crises.
Recently she pushed her boyfriend over the edge so far he felt it
necessary to exit a moving car with her driving and the ambulance and
police had to be called. I told her he was no longer welcome to stay
in my home. Personally I feel it is horrible for one person to push
someone else so far over the edge they feel they have to endanger
their life to get away and equally as bad that one actually follows
through with it! I told her that she should concentrate on getting
the help she needs to be less chaotic and angry and he should work on
the help he needs, whatever it is, before they consider embarking on a
relationship. This happened Christmas Day. Since then she has been
moping, not showered and blew up at me over a dish that clattered on
the counter yesterday. I have been keeping my contact with her and
words very minimal as I do not know what might set her off, or what I
can say that won't be construed as a confrontation by her causing her
to yell and scream - since she'll do this even if I don't say
anything. Being 20 I can't force her to stay here but I did make it
clear my expectation is for her to get counseling as soon as she is
added to medicaid. I'm not sure how to approach her, what to say
anymore. My hope is that as these explosions/crises occur I can vent
here and receive some constructive assistance in what responses I
should return with. For instance, when she blows up in a rampage as
she has recently and breaks doors and slams and storms and screams:
should I call the police to have them remove her until she is calm? I
can't financially afford the damage she does and she terribly upsets
her sisters with this behavior.